dtective: (smokes happily I guess)
Leon Orcot ([personal profile] dtective) wrote in [community profile] teaism2016-08-21 06:33 pm

slowly slides that 988 comment thread under the carpet

[Now that Leon has had a job for two full weeks, he's gotten his first paycheck! What does that mean? Splurge a little irresponsibly, of course! It's been so long since he's had any real cash coming in, and that means he can finally feel like a real boyfriend and do something for D!

Of course, his decision is still a little selfish. As he walks into the shop, D doesn't get any warning before Leon is plopping a sunhat down on his head and grinning wide.]

Guess what? I'm taking you out on a date!
pruning: (Many of these can be explained)

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-22 01:47 am (UTC)(link)
[This Domestic Life sure is something else. It's honestly a great relief that Leon has an actual job now, because he's not whining about being useless and bored all the time anymore. How considerate of him, to finally get out of D's hair for a few hours a day.

A few hours a day for work makes the heart grow fonder, or something. Regardless. Domestic life is working out somehow.

He's trying to water a fern when Leon suddenly assaults him with a hat!! though. Why...]

Are you? [he says as he very casually just removes that hat. No, this is hideous. But he looks at it like he might play along anyway.] And where are we going? Somewhere bright and sunny?
pruning: (It's a trained branch obviously.)

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-22 01:58 am (UTC)(link)
Of course, because "is it packed with tourists" was going to be my next question.

[This is probably the truth, actually. He glances down at the hat. It's tacky, but ah-] Did you buy this for our date...?

[Is he going to be guilted into wearing this dumb hat?]
pruning: (Did the ostrich make it out alive??)

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-22 02:17 am (UTC)(link)
[He'd rather set up a big umbrella...]

It's rather... unwieldy for a hat. [It's too big. Look at it.

But urgh, fine, since Leon looks so happy about it, he sighs and puts it back on, gesturing to it like here, judge him.]
pruning: (I could go for a bong and traffic cone)

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-22 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
[Dumps Leon over his fashion sense tbh. D makes a face, apparently acutely miserable in this hat, but only for a moment. He'll tone it down.]

We'll see how long I'd rather have this thing flopping in my face than the sun in my eyes.

[bleh...] When will we be going?

[Should he prepare some snacks?? That part he can get into.]
pruning: (Egads.)

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-22 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
[Oh thank god, he can take off the hat.

In a minute, so it isn't completely obvious.]

How considerate. That will work quite nicely. [Remember how he never keeps reasonable or regular hours? It continues.] I'll make us something tasty, just in case.

[Just in case Leon has an American baby fit over the food, but shh.]
pruning: (I wanna double bounce that dude so badly)

happiness is ooc

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-22 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
[Oh- hello!! D's surprised, but after taking a moment to just put down the watering can and give up, he slides his hand up Leon's arm to loosely hold onto it. He's thirsty even for affection...]

I always cook. Why, would you like to give it a try? I will keep my hands to myself.

[His cooking hands. Specifically.]
pruning: (That hourglass is way too deep man)

that's bad for ur health

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-22 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
[He thinks it would be cute... cute and salvageable, which is an important part.]

Can you bake? I was thinking muffins. [He wasn't, but they're easy.] I have this wonderful banana nut recipe...
pruning: (I want the surveillance footage)


[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-22 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
[rip, banana nut muffins]

Of course. Take this somewhere, [the hat, which he is taking off finally, please put it away] and meet me in the kitchen.
pruning: (SlowLY ffs. SLOWLY.)

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-23 05:33 am (UTC)(link)
[Get that abomination out of his shop... D will meet him in the kitchen as promised, where he's already busily gathering the things Leon will need to probably bake some muffins. While he's getting some mixing bowls out of a cabinet, he gestures sort of with his elbow to a recipe on the counter. Observe.]

Do look at it before we begin. And wash your hands.
pruning: (We are pro-hotguy)

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-23 06:13 am (UTC)(link)
Famous last words, my dear.

[Should he wait and see what Leon does with the recipe before he steps in... Yes, that sounds like the funniest possible thing to do. So once everything is laid out, suspiciously in the order it will be needed, but will Leon realize this?? he takes a step back and gestures at the kitchen counter very grandly.]

I leave it to you. But I will be right here if you find yourself in desperate need of my help.
pruning: (can it crush my hopes and dreams?)

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-23 06:24 am (UTC)(link)
I thought you wanted to cook!

[Isn't he great!! He's here for moral support.]

Don't tell me you don't know that the first step is to preheat the oven and coat the muffin tins with a light butter?

[He won't be in tutorial mode forever, get to it.]
pruning: (you know what? furtick)

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-23 06:30 am (UTC)(link)
[That's his complete moron... He holds up his hands, the picture of sass-free innocence.]

I will not say another word.

[Go on...... impress him.]
pruning: (Will you fail a test if you ask?)

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-23 06:38 am (UTC)(link)
[Well, that's it... It's time to move into the countryside and never speak to anyone again. He can't look Leon in the eye. He is, in fact, standing there looking absolutely mortified, at least unless Leon looks his way, at which point he will perk up considerably and nod encouragingly.

It's good for him to learn, probably. They're both learning right now.]
pruning: (my AIM conversations from 10 yrs ago)

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-23 06:48 am (UTC)(link)
[Oh my god, someone help this man... How can this be happening, how can one man be so terrible at making anything edible??

But D said he would keep his hands to himself. He tries, very hard, until he can't resist clearing his throat and pointing at the other bowl he has set out. What could it be for????]

Are you going to mash the bananas? [please]
pruning: (*berg)

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-23 06:54 am (UTC)(link)
[What the fuck. What the fuck.]

Chunks, Leon. Put the bananas in the other bowl and mash them, please.
pruning: (Will you fail a test if you ask?)

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-24 05:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[This is why it matters... Imagine Leon trying to do this all in one bowl. D would vaporize on the spot.]

Well, if you insist on throwing them around like an actual ape, yes...
pruning: (*berg)

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-25 10:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Why did you volunteer if you were going to complain?

[Complain and be gross about it!! D waves futilely at the recipe, abandoned on the counter, like this will finally get Leon to pick it up and use it as it's intended.]

Go ahead.
pruning: (That elephant is like "come here bitch")

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-28 11:26 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ohhh jesus has he never heard of baked goods rising? Every baked good (mostly) does this, Leon, please!!

D can't let this one go with a judging stare from the sidelines - suddenly he is here, with another spoon, scooping out the extra from that poor muffin and dropping it into a different section.]

You say that about most things I cook for you. They will be heavenly when they're done. [maybe....]
pruning: (you know what? furtick)

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-29 12:41 am (UTC)(link)
[He's saving these muffins! Saving them!! He only wiggles his spoon at Leon a little bit extra, after he's shooed away.]

We haven't gone anywhere, yet. You'll be in a terrible mood if I stand here and let you waste your time on the whole batch...

[He's helping... but alright, he's done. Just not in any mature way - after a beat, he sticks the spoon and its remaining muffin batter onto Leon's cheek. This is him trying to lighten this sour baking mood.]
pruning: (Put ... put your dick in it.)

[personal profile] pruning 2016-08-29 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
[Better!! Aside from trying to get D back, which is the worst - he leans back, pushing the spoon at Leon again. Nooooo.]

My dear, how long have we known each other? I know all about your moods.