teaism | I have never loved a darker blue

I have never loved a darker blue

[The room Dextera is in now is a fair size, but a little crowded with how many people have moved into it. The floor, ceiling and walls are all white, the lights are bright, and Dextera is flanked by a soldier on either side, carrying some form of enchanted weapon. They're currently facing Kureto, who's seated on the only bed in the room, wrists and ankles chained together. Despite that, he looks serious, and he seems to be completely in charge, shooting the blonde man leaning at the side of the room a sharp and analyzing look before he turns to one of the other few soldiers in the room.

"Get Guren in here now."

"Yes sir!"

The whole building seems to be on lockdown like this, so of course when Dextera was found wandering inside of what was supposed to be protected territory, he was brought in immediately. The second Guren's name had been mentioned, Kureto's face had scrunched in brief irritation, and he'd whisked them all away to this room. Not much else has been said, so far.

Until now, when Kureto leans forward, arms resting over his legs and hands folded together in thought. Everyone in the room is watching him, not quite sure what's going to happen next. But—

"Who are you? What are you to Guren? How did you get past my men?" A row of questions all at once, from Kureto, quite seriously. Shinya looks a little troubled by this, but he doesn't say a word, turning his own curious eyes on Dextera. He wants to know, too, after all.]

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You don't have anything to apologize for.

[The words come right away, and Guren moves his hand to the top of Dextera's head, resting there fondly.]

Come on, let's get to a room before we say anything else. The last thing I need is someone walking up on us.

[His hand lingers a bit as it falls away, fingers brushing through Dextera's hair briefly before he nods the direction they need to head. It's not far, at least, but they do keep passing Japanese Imperial Demon Army soldiers.

While they're walking, Guren can at least talk about some things.]

Are you feeling disoriented?

[ the contact is good. guren’s hand is warm, even through his gloves, and it’s a reassurance that dextera drinks in after everything that just happened. he’d gladly stand in the hallway forever if only guren would keep touching him.

even so, he does realize the importance of following guren into privacy here, so he trails along without complaint. ]

I was. I feel better now, but…

[ … ]

It’s different here.

...Yeah, it is.

[Guren sighs a little, walking them along, hands shoving into his pockets so he doesn't fidget.]

I wanted you to come with me, but I was hoping I could introduce you into things a little smoother. Sorry about that. I know it's not great, either.

[ dextera shakes his head. ]

I knew some of it. Your memories, and Kaoru’s mirror…

[ as soon as he says that, however, he realizes that guren may not know what he’s talking about. it’s hard to get a read on how much guren remembers of the town, or if he can even recall any of the people he met there without them being in front of him.

so, he switches tracks. ]

…I got you in trouble.

[Well, Guren definitely looks like he's not entirely following what Dextera just said about that, from how his brow furrows, but moving on works to have him not asking after it (especially in the hallway).]

You heard him in there. I'm always in trouble.

[This is just his life... He turns the corner, eyes tracing the wall to the side and counting the doors.]

They might bug you again. Or take you as a hostage, if they really want to get answers out of me. We'll take things as they come, so don't go feeling bad about anything like that. I'll get us out of it, no matter the situation. Got it?

[ there are a lot of blanks to fill in that didn’t even get grazed in kureto’s questioning, but maybe guren will be fine without them. they’re out of that town, after all, and with any luck, they won’t be going back.

guren has to focus on what’s here. dextera nods. ]

I meant what I said before.

[ thoughtfully, quietly, he rubs at his wrist. ]

I’ll do anything as long as I can stay with you.

[That's a dangerous attitude in this place. Yuu is the same, running around and yelling that he'll be an experiment, that he'll do whatever it takes to help. Guren stares at Dextera for a moment as he pushes open the door to one of the rooms, gesturing for him to go inside. It's pretty much exactly like the room Kureto was just in.

But as he steps inside after him and lets the door close, Guren is distracted by a red bracelet on the end of the bed. Dextera's. The one he had given to Guren. He moves over towards it, picking it up and running his fingers over it. This was not there before.]

If you want to stay with me, you need to listen to me above anyone else. Us being separated temporarily will be better than us getting separated for more than that. I'm used to things, and I know what I'm doing.

[He turns, offering the bracelet out to Dextera with a small frown.]

I'm going to have to give this back to you. But listen to me, Dex. You can't say anything even close to what you know about Shinya and the others. They will turn to dust if they so much as catch on that something is off.

Follow my lead in conversations. Don't offer up information if I don't offer it up first. If they confront you privately... [Ugh, that's a whole process he'd have to go through, actually. Kureto could easily arrange for that, too, when Dextera is more calmed down in Guren's presence. He could bother them both at once, it would be efficient— damn it.

He just hopes he's too preoccupied with everything else. Maybe that possession of his will help him lean into his trust a little bit more.]

We'll work on it.

[ dextera doesn’t want it. he wants guren to wear it—it’s a selfish, unreasonable desire, and he knows that, but he can’t help it. the bracelet was a gift and a sign for them to always be together, and he’s gotten used to the feeling of wearing just one anyway.

he takes it back, but the look in his eyes says more than a verbal complaint ever could. he’s not going to wear it, but he’ll hold onto it. ]

…

[ he exhales, harshly, frustrated that this isn’t going the way he’d always hoped. did he do something wrong, or… no. maybe he was always just being naïve about the end goal of this all. ]

I won’t say anything. I know.

[ he digs his nail under the metal of the bracelet’s latch, fidgeting. ]

What do we do now?

You can give it back to me later.

[Those are his reassuring words to Dextera as he meets that expression with an apologetic one of his own. Unlike in Chroma, Guren hasn't smiled once since meeting with Dextera. He hasn't smiled in a long time, even through jokes— he's busy, constantly thinking, and now there's one more thing on the pile.]

...

[What do they do now. He tells everyone to look to him for help, but then he's gotta figure it out. What do they do, what do they do...]

I should talk to Shinya in private, too. [Though he's kind of dreading that, considering how much he's been pressing their distance.] Just enough that he'll understand. We've got a lot going on right now. You saw how Kureto was chained up. He's got something trying to possess him right now, and we're on a time limit.

[Dextera knew this already from Guren's brief summary after his canon update, but he forgets this. Unfortunately.]

Things aren't going to be easy here.

I have power.

[ they talked about it, kureto knows it, and even guren said that it could be useful here. if his purification can help in any way, he’ll offer it, but he doesn’t know if it’s the kind of thing that could stop whatever is possessing kureto.

not to mention guren—the demon curse drags ever onward.

with that thought, dextera can’t help himself. he reaches out, sliding his hand against guren’s face, his palm smoothing along guren’s cheek until his fingers push into guren’s thick black hair. ]

I’ll use it for you. I’ll do anything.

[Guren watches Dextera as he speaks, as he's touched. It's warm, and it is a little comforting, but it doesn't even dent all of his worries. If anything, there are more added to them. His gaze is a little hollow for that, more than it ever got in Chroma as his demon holds more of his heart.]

I know.

[His hand lifts, resting loosely over Dextera's wrist.] But things are different here. If you're useless, you're killed, but if you're too useful, you're used, no matter the cost. That won't necessarily keep you with me.

I'm thinking it out. Let me talk to Shinya, and then I'll decide what to do. Okay?

[ dextera withdraws his hand, at a reaction like that. maybe it’s too much—maybe guren doesn’t remember, or maybe it’s just not the time. things seemed easier in chroma, or perhaps it was just that dextera was selfish there.

he nods. ]

Okay.

[ and what else can he say, really? he can’t argue here. ]

But I… I’m happy to see you.

[Hhh... Guren rubs the back of his neck, glancing away like he's embarrassed.]

Yeah. [WHY DOES HE SUCK SO BAD... But Dextera should know that dumb gay look on his face. He's happy, too. It's a flash of the most pleasant expression he's had since he's seen him again, at least.]

Sorry. There's a lot going on. I know I'm not the greatest at explaining myself, but I promise, we'll figure it out.

[Speaking of which... he looks back.]

Have you seen your brother at all? [He remembers that, at least.]

[ guren’s brief expression is enough for dextera, anyway, and he takes it as a sign that guren does—remember something. he remembers enough. dextera takes a deep breath, and at that question, he shakes his head.

is his brother still in chroma, or is he somewhere else in this world? he’ll be even worse off than dextera has been, with his combative attitude.

he frowns, his eyebrow twitching down in a brief scowl. ]

I haven’t. I don’t know if he followed me…

[ he touches the scar at his side. ]

I don’t think he’s here.

[Guren moves to grip Dextera's shoulder, at that, firmly.]

I haven't forgotten about him. We'll find a way to get him here, and alive. It fits in with what I'm doing. Don't worry.

[He'll save him, and everyone else too.]

You can’t…

[ dextera pauses, reaching up to touch guren’s hand on his shoulder. his gaze is slightly troubled, still, but he takes guren’s reassurance at face value. then, he reconsiders his words.

“you can’t” is not a good way to start a sentence with guren. ]

…I’m a part of this world now, too. So these plans…

[ … ]

It doesn’t have to be now. But I want to know everything you’re doing. Even… the painful parts. Even the things you think I’d hate.

[Ah, that...

Guren is quiet for all of that, and his eyes look hollow in how much he's holding onto. Holding up. It's probably all too clear to Dextera, just like it's clear to his other friends, but he doesn't know what to say to make it better. He doesn't know what to do.

Some things he just can't share. That's just who he is. Shinya would gladly explain this, if he had the chance.]

I'll be back in a short while. [So, he can't even comment on it, and his chest feels tight for it, but this is how he is, what he's used to. Mahiru is closing around his heart.]

Will you be alright staying here?

[ it hurts, of course. that look in guren’s eyes is something dextera can’t ever seem to wipe away completely, even if he can get warmth or a spark of joy when he does or says the right thing. guren has too much on his shoulders, especially here, where he’s inundated by his own plans. chroma, as much as it kept him away from these things and worried him for it, was almost like a vacation in comparison, wasn’t it? ]

…

[ he moves his hand to touch where guren’s heart is, but he doesn’t try to direct the conversation back to his request. ]

I’ll be okay. I might… sleep. Is that…?

[ dangerous? taboo, using guren’s bed? he’s really not sure. ]

Go ahead and sleep.

[Guren covers the hand over his heart with his own.]

Everyone knows better than to look in here for me, so you should be left alone.

[ well, it doesn’t make dextera feel better that people know not to look in guren’s room for guren, like he doesn’t spend much time relaxing at all, but it’s not really a surprise.

he twists his fingers under guren’s hand until he can grip it, and he brings it to his mouth—not a kiss, but his lips are touching guren’s fingers, definitely. ]

Then… take your time. I know you have a lot to talk about.

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