[His tone rises a little, because the comments do hurt. He doesn't need to hear that he hurt him when he already knows. He asked for directness, but the type of directness it is bothers him. He's selfish like that, trying to keep himself strong to be able to move forward at all.]
It was a revolution, and you were a vital piece on the chessboard. This academy had a reputation of housing failures and lazy do-nothings who skated by on the successes of others. In order to bring hope into those that still go here, some had to be sacrificed. In order to open the doors of opportunity, I had to pry away age old rust and slam them open with my bloodied, bare hands.
[It's true that more agents are looking at signing those who graduated from the academy thanks to the commotion. More light is shed on things... but for what cost? So many were broken. Some took their own lives. Others had their reputations damaged so heavily they may never recover.]
To you who was born with natural talent, who could soar high so quickly, from such a young age... it must make no sense. But in order for me to do anything, it had to be this path. Surely even you can't deny that.
[He's upsetting himself, breathing a little shakier, even if he hides it.]
I was... jealous, I'll admit. Jealous of you, and the others. I could never stand up to your talent, and so, I knew I had to knock you down, instead. Then, I had you all crawling at my feet... my dream was achieved, no matter how ephemeral. I was able to make a difference. A sickly, no good person like me...
Do you still not understand? I'm afraid I can't help explain myself beyond that. If you hate me, then why are you speaking to me at all?
no subject
[His tone rises a little, because the comments do hurt. He doesn't need to hear that he hurt him when he already knows. He asked for directness, but the type of directness it is bothers him. He's selfish like that, trying to keep himself strong to be able to move forward at all.]
It was a revolution, and you were a vital piece on the chessboard. This academy had a reputation of housing failures and lazy do-nothings who skated by on the successes of others. In order to bring hope into those that still go here, some had to be sacrificed. In order to open the doors of opportunity, I had to pry away age old rust and slam them open with my bloodied, bare hands.
[It's true that more agents are looking at signing those who graduated from the academy thanks to the commotion. More light is shed on things... but for what cost? So many were broken. Some took their own lives. Others had their reputations damaged so heavily they may never recover.]
To you who was born with natural talent, who could soar high so quickly, from such a young age... it must make no sense. But in order for me to do anything, it had to be this path. Surely even you can't deny that.
[He's upsetting himself, breathing a little shakier, even if he hides it.]
I was... jealous, I'll admit. Jealous of you, and the others. I could never stand up to your talent, and so, I knew I had to knock you down, instead. Then, I had you all crawling at my feet... my dream was achieved, no matter how ephemeral. I was able to make a difference. A sickly, no good person like me...
Do you still not understand? I'm afraid I can't help explain myself beyond that. If you hate me, then why are you speaking to me at all?