[His immediate response is to smack those hands as harshly as possible. Don't mock him...!]

As if I could pass through any of all those fucking checkpoints with stuff like that! [He's probably long since lost his job... Retired, ran off, you know. He might be a wanted criminal too, at this point, WHO KNOWS. Ugh, but as much as he'd love to see D in cuffs (no homo), it's just not possible right now. Don't rub in his misery, asshole.]

You're a real pain in the ass.