teaism | 90s sadness and gay???

[Avoidance might as well be an Olympic sport. D has gotten quite good at it, after all this time, to the point where anyone who could keep track of him long enough to pay attention would think he was doing it without thinking. He isn't, of course -- isn't not thinking. It's a concentrated effort all of the time, to stay one step ahead and not be... tempted.

Tempted might be the wrong word. Nostalgic isn't much better, but there isn't a word that works to precisely describe the feeling that sticks in D's chest when he's still one step ahead but close enough to see, or even to hear the familiar voice--

Like right now, oh, goodness. He couldn't help himself, stealing a look back when he thought it was safe to do so, and now he's doing his best to lose himself in the crowd before Leon and a dozen other things he's not prepared to deal with catch up with him. This is a busy Italian city square, surely he can make his way through and out of this crowd without too much problem.

Surely... Or, a hand on his wrist, and he'll be winning no medals for this failed escape. His eyes widen and then narrow, and he doesn't know-- he simply doesn't know. And that's the first thing Leon chooses to say?

He can only keep up this held gaze for so long before he looks not away, but sort of - down.] ...You cut your hair.

[Holy shit, he actually did it. It's not some woman who happens to look like him, or some random asian man in Italy with the same hair cut— it's actually him! Of course he'd been determined to do it, but now that he's actually done it, he's astonished. His chest swells with emotion, and there are thousands of words at the tip of his tongue that he's been wanting to say all this time. Questions, comments, admissions—

It's all cut short by a familiar wave of irritation. He grips that wrist tighter, raising his arm in a quick gesture as he leans down to yell.]

That's all you have to say for yourself?! Do you have any idea how long I've been trying to find you, you son of a bitch?! [Agh, no, he lowers their arms but doesn't dare let go, eyes scanning D up and down as if that might help him find the answer to what he's really thinking right now.] No, don't answer that. Of course you know! You've been leading me on a wild goose chase this whole time! You don't even give a damn, do you?

[It's familiar and honestly a little therapeutic to yell all of this, but after everything that's happened, it's different, too. His accusing statements are more questioning, demanding answers from D even in what he doesn't flat out ask. He stares at him for another few solid seconds, his frown deepening.]

[Oh, he's yelling. Of course he's yelling. That one is actually nostalgic, and D can't help but fix Leon with a simpering half-smirk and hold up his hands - one with difficulty, stop - to defend his innocence. All the while that uncomfortable feeling has settled in his chest again, a dull presence like a hook he can ignore until Leon is somewhere in his periphery. Or worse: right in front of him and shouting.

At least D can sleep well at night knowing that despite all their time apart, Leon hasn't managed to get much more intuitive. He's right about one thing -- D knows exactly how long this has been going on. The rest is treading into murkier waters, that make his faux-saccharine smile settle into something thinner. Leon's tone, this time -- this is uncomfortable.]

If you recall... Officer, [are you still a detective??] I did make it abundantly clear that you were not to follow me.

[That's going to go over well, he knows. But avoidance leads nowhere, especially not toward thinking things through, and so he doesn't know what to do right now but push back. He glances at Leon's hand this time, meaningfully.]

You are wrinkling my sleeve.

[This is all just making him more angry. As usual, D is dodging everything. He's not saying what he's been thinking, or what this is all about, and Leon can jump to as many conclusions as he'd like after the whole Incident, but it's not enough.

He stares down at where he's wrinkling his sleeve, his eyebrows furrowing even more. He doesn't know how to say that he doesn't want to lose him again.]

I don't give a damn about your sleeve. [Close enough. His eyes snap back up, even if his grip is a lot more relaxed than it had been before.] Was I supposed to just listen to that? All of that happens and you just leave without any explanation? Is that all I am to you?

[Oh. That last question sure did come out of nowhere, and he realizes with a glance to either side that they sure are standing in the middle of a very busy city square in Italy. People are beginning to stare... His shoulders tense up and he hunches a bit more.]

Don't you have some set up here where we can talk or something? [Come on, just... let things go back to normal. Drag him to some weird place and don't leave him in the middle of the street!]

[Yes, you were. The thought comes immediately when Leon asks if he was supposed to listen-- of course he was, that was the entire point. D has a whole laundry list of reasons why Leon couldn't have come, shouldn't have followed him around the world and found him here, although most of them are selfish and very few involve the fact that Leon shot his father, so while they settle into less of a mess in his mind he figures he'll keep them to himself.

Still. The fact remains: Leon should have listened. D's thin smile thins even further, to the point where it isn't much of a smile anymore at all. That last question hits him too hard, like Leon's grabbed hold of the feeling in his chest and yanked on it as hard as he could.

He can avoid that one, too, for as long as possible. Leon is requesting a place to go for some privacy, and D finds he doesn't have it in him to sneer. People are looking. Alright--] You will have to let go of my wrist, first.

And then you will have to follow me without asking any questions. I trust you've had enough practice at one of those things, at the very, very least.

[Why can't they just walk like this!!!

He watches D's lips for a few moments as if that might help the smile return, but when it doesn't, all he can do is let go. He pulls his hand back, but steps forward to keep any distance between them minimal.]

...Fine. But if you so much as try anything funny... [The threat falls a little flat. He'd followed him all this way for what, to arrest him? It had been made clear that it wasn't his responsibility anymore, but it had become far more than the law before they'd even left LA. He wanted answers. And he wanted to know if all of that time was really just wasted, or if D was just keeping things to himself.]

So where are you keeping all of your pets this time? [Honestly, the request to not ask any questions had gone in one ear and out the other.]

[This is silk, you barbarian!!

D looks at him a moment when he comes forward, not taking a step back or indeed moving much at all. Besides the hair and the way he's travel-weary around the edges, it's as if he never tried to leave LA in the first place. If that whole incident had never happened, then...

Well, dwelling on what ifs will get them nowhere. D turns swiftly on his heel, starting to walk and assuming Leon will follow. Why is he already breaking the other rule?]

A shop, of course. I'll consider that question excused, and now you've run out.

[So shut up until D leads them through an overly complex path to his latest hole in the wall shop.]

[Run out? The nerve of him, to say he can't ask questions after giving him so many of them! It's not his fault that he ran off and keeps jumping country to country! And why does every country have a god damn Chinatown, anyway?!

Luckily, his frustration keeps him silent the rest of the way. Though his gaze does sometimes try to flick this way and that to observe their surroundings, see where they're going, what he's recognizing, his eyes ultimately stay on D. He'd like to believe that they're going to go have some tea and chat about all of this, but it's not that simple. Especially not after he killed the man's father.

His fingers flex awkwardly at his sides, but eventually they get to their destination and he can move a little less tense, peering around corners as they enter. Where are all the little demons... Surely he still has them all.]

Geez, this place is completely set up. How long have you even been here...? [How does he move so fast...]

[This is thoroughly uncomfortable. D ignores, or pretends to ignore Leon as they make their way through the city to his shop - it's much easier that way, even though he's going to be yelled at into addressing this sooner or later. Maybe. If it came down to who's better at holding his ground, he could probably outlast Leon if the man tires himself out from shouting...

That's the train of thought that carries him the rest of the way there. He looks at Leon over his shoulder as he enters before him, and regrets it - another wave of not-quite-nostalgic feeling hits him, and he turns away again to breeze further into the shop and find something to fuss over. Perhaps he'll make tea.

Of course he'll make tea, but he'll make it seem like he thinks about it.]

It's quite easy to set up. [The shop is its own kind of antique-choked eldritch horror...] It won't bite you, either. Shut the door and take a seat before you let in the whole world.

[The little demons aren't going to come out and gawk openly at The Problem Man because D is real close to passive-aggressively scorning Leon and any witnesses into oblivion. From animals, he is spared.]

[He is really so annoyed right now... And yet he listens, shutting the door behind him and walking inside. He picks the first couch he can find to fall into a seat on, slouching a little bit as he watches D.

For a moment, he sits there grumpy and quiet, just watching D either make the tea or waffle about making the tea, and eventually it becomes too much. No, this has all been too much, all along. Oddly enough, the lack of animals coming out to greet him just makes it weirder! Not that he misses them at all or anything... It just would have felt a little more normal. Maybe they could have kept pretending everything was normal.]

Damn it, D, are you going to talk to me or what? [He has been aLL OVER THE WORLD...]

[Listen, at least D eventually decides to actually make the tea. There's that much to contribute to normalcy, even though none of this is normal. They're in Italy-- does Leon even speak Italian? Has he been getting by on tourist phrases and frantic gestures about where Chinatown is? D can't help but be kind of amused at the thought, although his expression flattens as Leon yet again demands he be spoken to.

Honestly, the nerve. D didn't ask him to come all the way around the world.]

Pardon me, it's simply something of a shock when someone so persistently disturbs my peace. [There will be no comments about how panicking and fleeing the country is and never will be peaceful, thank you.] You are the one who has come in here and-- [diSRUPTED EVERYTHING?? What is he expected to do here, honestly?

Well, he's not going to finish that thought, and is instead going to sit down primly while waiting for the tea. Alright, thrill him with more yelling. He's ready.]

You want to talk about disturbing peace?!

[He tenses up, leaning forward on the couch only to slump a bit with a sigh. He doesn't know where to even pick things up. He'd thought, back then, that maybe he was getting somewhere with D. That he could say things more openly or understand him and what he wanted. But then all of that happened...

He could yell plenty of things, honestly, but... He doesn't get it!! So instead he just runs a hand through his hair and stares at a spot on the carpet.]

Did you think I would just let you run off like that?

[That's a good start, but then Leon doesn't start yelling and it's uncomfortable instead. D crosses his arms and looks very prepared to ignore whatever he's yelling about, but again -- no yelling kind of complicates matters. If Leon were yelling, he could ignore it! But the fact that he isn't seems to finally, officially drive home the point that he's actually affected by this.

Because chasing D around the world wasn't affected. That could have just been adrenaline, or cop machismo-- Americans are strange!

So, then. Here they are.] Yes, actually. I believe that is precisely what I told you, the last time we spoke.

[The last time like it was not ages ago or as bizarre as it was.]

That said, I do suppose we have to start somewhere. Why did you come?

[Why did he come... That's a loaded question if he's ever heard one. This time, there's no yelling about arresting or the law, not even any comments about everything he'd been thinking about. It's stupid, but he hadn't thought this far ahead too much anyway. He'd just set out with this goal in mind.

Shifting, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper. It's a little bit more wrinkled than it had been when he left it, but miraculously, it's not ruined. He'd taken very good care of it.

He holds it out for D to take.]

You left this. [Asshole. Why does he think he came!!]

[Of all the reasons D might come up with for why Leon is here, handing him a piece of paper isn't actually one of them, alright. Honestly, his first thought when he sees a piece of folded paper is that it's some kind of arrest warrant, and he'll have to laugh Leon summarily out of his shop and back onto the street because this is Italy. He can't be arrested for what he definitely didn't do in LA here!

But he also can't imagine what it really is, a wrinkled scrap, so as he reaches forward to take it and unfold it, he raises an eyebrow in confusion. This is what, exactly?

Once he's unfolded it and actually taken a look, it's as if the very air in the room is holding its breath. He'd... forgotten. He had forgotten, and Leon has followed him around the world to, at least in part, hand this drawing back to him. He can't even remember if leaving it behind had been intentional in the moment, after everything else that had happened. Packing it certainly had been, but things became so complicated, and then...

The uncomfortable feeling settled in his chest becomes, impossibly, even more so, and he takes a moment to stare down at the paper before he looks up again. His expression is tightly controlled, but even then, it's probably obvious that he's doing that.

He leans forward, placing the picture on his latest antique coffee table and smoothing it flat, hand lingering over it before he sits back again.]

And how has Christopher been doing lately?

[What the hell kind of reaction is that... He is pouring his heart out here!! Okay, no, he's not. He's just... hm, what is he doing. He stares down at the picture for a long moment, grateful that he's not being kicked out to the street, at least. They're sitting here, speaking. It's been forever...

It's been forever and D has the nerve to speak this casually?!]

He's been doing great. [All of the usual things... He could fill D in, but honestly he's so pissed at him running off that he doesn't feel very much like doing so right now. There is one important fact to shove in his face, though.] He misses you like crazy, though. The few times when I can speak to him between all of this, he always brings up the petshop. He wanted to know if I found you yet.

[But he's been able to talk to him less and less... When was the last time he managed a call? Chris has gotten more and more busy with his own life as he grew up, too. Hm. Leon just sort of frowns, sitting back in his seat and draping an arm over the back of the couch. His eyes finally lift from the picture and he stares at D for another moment. There's so much, like the fucking boat he barely remembers... God. He still doesn't even know if D hates him now or what.

His voice drops a little in volume.] I couldn't just forget about everything and move on.

[You know, like a sane person.]

[It turns out that asking about Chris was not the best idea for his feelings. Well, too late for that now. He was trying to be casual, but Chris... the way Chris left the shop is still a memory he'd like to be over and done with, and talking about him just picks at that. Chris misses him? He shouldn't. Of course he would, he's a wonderful and darling child, but he still shouldn't.

Thankfully, he can avoid talking about Chris more. Even if the alternative is this--] You should have. It would have been better for you in the long run.

[The same way leaving the shop was better for Chris in the end, but details. He's trying very hard not to think about what might have been if he'd stayed.]

There were no other options at the time.

Better for me, or better for you?!

[Okay, so like... He sure has been dealing with a lot of misfortune all thanks to D, or revolving around D at least, but that just came with his line of duty.] You have some nerve saying that after all of the trouble you caused me!

[Now he's leaning forward enough to slap his hands down on this table.] You don't get to decide what's better for me or not! I came after all! I could have come from the beginning! What about that option, huh?!

[Wow, okay, first of all.] You couldn't have and I made that clear!

[How much more clear could shoving him off a possibly imaginary boat have been? He sighs shortly and sits back further, crossing his arms again and staring off at some other corner of the shop. He's not going to start yelling, as tempting as it is.

He still doesn't understand-- what kind of an idiot drops his whole life to follow someone across the globe? Why are humans like this??]

Don't hit the furniture. [...belated, but ugh.]

Why does everything have to be this vague bullshit with you?! What ever happened to giving me a heads up so I could buy some god damn plane tickets or something!

[He doesn't care about all of that humans don't have the right crap, so he's ignoring that for the literal reality of it all. He pulls his hands back into his own lap, pointedly resting them on his knees as he glares at D.]

What's the big deal if I'm here or not?

I had intended on it, but you were in such a mood it was impossible!

[--Ah. He hadn't actually meant to say that, now frowning more deeply at the opposite corner of the room. Leon can glare at him all he wants, but he's going to look over there. How is he supposed to address the issue of Leon being here to Leon, here? That's it right there!]

How can a man like you meet my family and still ask me such an asinine question? What do you think the "big deal" is, Leon?

[His mood? How could he help that, with everything that happened! He flares up, angry, but it's cut off immediately by the next words that come from D. Somehow, they make him settle, and his staring becomes a little more even.]

You didn't run until after all that. [D can look wherever he wants, but Leon is going to Watch him. He'll be trying so hard now to see past those faces.] Even with your feelings towards humans, you let me come over time and time again, even when I was threatening to have you arrested! Why is it different all of a sudden? What are you really running from?

You couldn't have arrested me.

[Just putting that out there: it wasn't going to happen. He still doesn't look at Leon, but his gaze drops down to the floor. What is he running from? Well, he can't say he's not running at this point, but he really would rather not have this conversation.

So he'll stand suddenly and move back over to finish making the tea. Hang on a moment.]

I... You would not understand. My people... [He waves a hand while he sets some cups on a tray.] It would not be wise for me to linger in one place, as much as I may enjoy your company.

[He's not even going to comment on the arrest thing, he's just going to sulk grumpily over here. Tea... Should he even have his tea? Ugh, no, it doesn't matter. He knows by now that it was never as simple as a "pet shop"... The tea doesn't have anything to do with it.]

All of that doesn't explain why you hightailed it out of there every time you caught wind of me. You looked me straight in the eye back there and ran off!

[Well, now he'll spend an extra minute over here finding some kind of cookie to slap on a plate for the tea tray, since he doesn't have a proper explanation for this one, either. Seeing Leon is-- he can't go back to how they were in LA, whatever they were. He was already playing a dangerous game by letting Leon and Chris get close, so he had to leave, and his father said...

But then, what has Father ever known? And yet, still...

He returns with the tray, setting it down and gesturing for Leon to help himself. His own cup he picks up and immediately sips from, to hide at least some of his expression.]

I assumed you would attempt to bring me back. Perhaps under the pretense of an arrest, at the very least...

[It seems silly to say that now, when he'd been there and listening when Leon seemed quite on board with going wherever he wanted, but never mind that.]

After that, I suppose I simply didn't want to see you.

[Because he actually really did?? It would be too much to say that, unfortunately.]

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