teaism | it's a long way forward

it's a long way forward

[It's been days since he left that village behind, and he hasn't had nearly enough time to stop and rest. Every village or town he's run across has chased him off for falling out of the sky, too poor to offer any help of their own and too afraid to attempt to question his state. Desperately, he's kept his presence disguised, hiding from those other colored entities that were part of this destiny he wanted nothing to do with. He slept in trees for a couple hours at a time, moving again before too long when it no longer felt secure enough.

He was running from something he couldn't escape, but each time he tried to find somewhere to go, it wasn't right. Maybe his predecessor was right. Maybe there wasn't anyone who would take him like he is, green leg showing in the spot that his shoes don't cover. Maybe he was too much of a monster.

No. Determined, Jae-Ha urged himself forward despite that worry. No matter where he ended up, or if he had to live alone for the rest of his life, it was better than existing and waiting in that prison of a village. He wouldn't become like his predecessor. He wouldn't wait around to take it out on the next generation.

When he spots a blonde boy crouched near something in a clearing of the woods, Jae-Ha's chest tightens. This could be a chance, couldn't it? He was his age— younger, clearly, but not an adult like all of the ones that have chased him off. And better than that, he was alone. Maybe, just maybe, he could say something to reach him, to get some food other than the occasional bits of bread or fruit he's stolen from carts or nabbed from trees along the way.

His appearance comes in a flash, a green blur dropping out of the sky and right in front of Sanji. He's a mess in his dirtied robes, his face and body still badly beaten from a few days prior, his hair dirty and sticky even tied back, and heavy bags beneath his eyes from the lack of rest. When he drops down to a knee, both to temporarily hide the green of his right foot and to humble himself, it's more of a fall of pure exhaustion.

He doesn't bow his head like you should with a gesture like this, instead staring directly at Sanji with determined eyes.]

Please, let me stay with you, at least for a night. I'll do anything.

[It's about time for a desperate offer like this, isn't it?]

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[He remembers that Sanji didn't care much for the first hug he tried, and so he doesn't want to try one now. He's not sure he can help at all. A monster like him isn't used to interaction enough. He's probably saying the wrong things, to receive no answer like that.

So, he goes silent and ignores the stinging in his heart. He doesn't turn away from Sanji, nor move to give him more space. He stands there with him, gently wiping away some of the dust as Sanji cries. That's all he can do.

This, and get better at keeping those siblings of his away from him.]

[He stands there as long as it takes him to get his tears under control, shamed by Jae-Ha having to clean him off, but knowing better than to open his mouth when all he'll do is wail like an infant. His arm scrubs at his face until he thinks his face is dry (it isn't), and that his eyes aren't puffy (they are). Then he lowers his hands to his sides, sniffling through his stuffed nose.]

You-- [sniff, and then he continues meekly.] You don't have to... [Another sniff] Father will be upset anyway.

[He wipes at his face again, to be sure the tear stains are gone] ... Wasn't ignoring you. My throat was itchy.

[Jae-Ha is quiet at first, considering all of those words. Father will be upset anyway... He doesn't want to know what that means, but he's going to sneak and watch, of course. But...]

If you ever want to, I can take you away from here. But we'd have to be on the run. [So. He can get it if Sanji doesn't want to do that. Still... He frowns, holding back from cleaning Sanji's face off. His brothers will probably expect the tears, and he doesn't want to wound his pride any further.]

But if you don't want to run away, you should probably hurry back.

I don't wanna.

[To which part, Sanji doesn't specify, and he'd only sound petulant if asked. Or defeated. He's just an eight year old boy, after all, and right now can only think of how much he wishes things were... different.]

You're not gonna leave... [Are you? If Sanji isn't sure what he wants? His eyes start tearing up again and he bites viciously on his lip to keep them from spilling]

No. Nothing could make me leave.

[He reaches to grab Sanji's hand again, squeezing it tight.] And next time they hurt you, I'm gonna kick them from behind instead. They won't know what's coming.

[The other boy really shouldn't; he'll get in so much trouble if he is caught.

... But there's a flicker of a smile, and Sanji's sniffles don't sound quite as defeated. After a moment, he squeezes Jae-Ha's hand back and slowly leads him back for the mansion]

M'sorry. I didn't get the apple.

They interrupted you. It doesn't count. We'll try again later.

[Following along with him back to the mansion, Jae-Ha keeps his eyes mostly ahead, just in case any of those kids had stayed behind or are trying to wait for Sanji. He'll have to disappear from view if that's the case... Unless Sanji ends up in danger. But he won't repeat that again, right now.]

[His brothers aren't waiting for him, no. Sanji isn't worried about it, either. The beatings are done for the day unless he pisses them off, so now it's only Father who he dreads seeing.

Who absolutely can't know about Jae-Ha, and even when they're still a couple of paces away from the main bridge, Sanji stops and turns to his friend.]

I gotta go alone. You should wait in my room.

Where are you going to be?

[It wouldn't be the first time Jae-Ha doesn't listen when he's told to go to the room. But he knows how to sneak! He needs to know Sanji is safe... He's too worried.]

Father's room.

[Giving Jae-Ha a look, but Sanji doesn't bother scolding him. They've had that conversation millions of times already]

I'll be waiting for you, okay?

[But of course he's going to end up sneaking nearby. For now, he'll squeeze Sanji's hand and then hop out of view, towards the mansion. He probably knows great ways to get in through the windows and where to avoid people now.]

[The honest truth is that Sanji wishes Jae-Ha wouldn't leave him, impossible a dream as it is. His brothers might hurt him, mock him, maybe even scare him occasionally, but the boy doesn't care if he loses or gains their respect. He doesn't really care about them at all.

But Father...

He watches the boy hop away and his hand twitches for something to squeeze before Sanji steels himself, forcing his legs to walk the familiar route that will take him to his Father's room. It's deep in the mansion on the second floor, practically a suite, and the door is cracked open. He gives an uneasy sweep of his clothes before slipping inside.

Everyone else is there - Ichiji, Niji, Yonji, and Reiju. The boys in particular sneer when Sanji comes to stand beside them. Reiju, at least, remains mercifully silent, and besides the way his father's nose lifts like he's smelling something foul, Sanji goes ignored by him. The large, towering man continues on without a hitch: in a few month's time, their household will be entertaining the Water Tribe's general, and during the occasion, he hopes for his sons and daughter to demonstrate their physical prowess to one of the highest-ranking officers in the land. It's the chance they've been waiting for, to prove that his specific line of work will benefit the country.

He will accept nothing less than perfection from any of them. Any of them.

... And after the pause, they're dismissed, with Judge not so much as looking in Sanji's direction. He turns away instead and only says this: for the boy to wipe the dirt off his clothes and face, for heaven's sake. He looks like a commoner, and it's exactly this kind of attitude that proves what a disappointment he is.

At least try to pretend you give a damn, Sanji. Act like a noble. He heard from his brothers already - jumping for apples, when he could be training? He'll be expected to work three times as hard to make up for this nonsense.

Sanji doesn't cry on the way back to his room. Frankly, the tears are already spent. Once he clears the doorway, he slips over to the bed and sits beside it, burying his face into his knees]

[Using windows, Jae-Ha gets to Sanji's room first. He's there to lock the door after Sanji enters, watching quietly as the younger boy moves straight beside the bed. He'd heard the conversation enough. What was he expecting of a bunch of children? If Jae-Ha was a monster for being strong, why was Sanji rejected for not being strong enough? It didn't make any sense.

But still, he doesn't know what to say to help. He doesn't know if he helps at all, or if he's just making it worse. Was he distracting Sanji? No, no, he deserved to have fun. He needed a childhood. This was his freedom.

Quietly, he moves over to sit beside Sanji, back against the bed and his own legs pulled closer to his chest.]

[At least the quiet helps to settle Sanji's nerves. Thinking about the situation is beyond him right now, and his brain is a muddled pool with no reflection. Just tired and dirty. When he feels Jae-Ha settle next to him, the only thing he can think to do is lean against him a little for comfort.

Though not two seconds after he does this is when the door knocks, and knowing exactly who it is--]

M'coming... [He stands, tired and sore enough to earn a wince when he moves, but he hobbles over to the door and unlocks it. Of course, it's Reiju who comes sweeping inside.]

You're lucky neither of you are dead. [What a warm welcome, she knows, but Reiju isn't smiling for once. With a bunch of bandages clutched to her chest, and some other supplied held in a basket, she looks more like a disapproving maid]

Edited 2017-03-27 04:45 (UTC)

[Immediately irritated, Jae-Ha moves to stand. Why does he have to answer the door? Ugh. He knows he's not good at this, but she's clearly no better.]

You're lucky I didn't pick a fourth apple. [Stepping over, he reaches to snatch one of the bandage rolls away, like he doesn't need her help.]

[Oh, clever, you green-haired urchin, and Reiju gives Jae-Ha a particular smile that looks like she'd love nothing better than to bite off his head--

But there are children present, yes? Let's play nice.

Sanji, on the other hand, is too tired to tell either of them off. He's familiar with this process - Reiju will bandage him up, berate him for trying to fight back, remind him of why she can't defend him... Really, the only strange part about this scene is Jae-Ha is here now, and the boy looks on in bemusement when Jae-Ha grabs the bandages]

Sanji. [Reiju speaks clearly, and points to the bed with authority] Go sit. You're probably sore. [She lifts her chin while watching Sanji obey] Is it just your side this time? I have enough bandages for any place else.

He doesn't need you. Leave the bandages with me and go away already.

[Jae-Ha certainly isn't like this with Sanji at all, so even for as often as he bickers with Reiju, this is very blunt. He's especially angry after watching her involvement.]

Go pretend to care about someone else. If you really cared about him getting hurt, you'd be stopping it from happening, not nursing him after he's already hurt.

[Sanji might be tired, but he feels the room's temperature abruptly plunge as if it's been dipped in ice, and from his vantage point on the bed, he openly gapes at Jae-Ha verbally assassinating his sister. That's-- that's the angriest he's ever seen Jae-Ha, ever.

But his sister's face is what makes him flinch and nearly cower. There's a barely contained fury lingering beneath her eyes, one that reminds him too much of his brothers. ]

... And you know what would happen if I tried to stop it? [The smile doesn't keep her from spitting the words at him, or that she'll reach to yank the bandage back out of Jae-Ha's hands if he doesn't move] Then both of us would be beat up, and I wouldn't be able to take care of him. The maids won't touch him. Neither will Father.

[So that means two broken children, because that's what this family needs. So thanks, Jae-Ha, but she'll pass on the preaching] Don't forget you're here because I haven't told my father anything. [Because it makes Sanji happy. However, and she speaks this next part in a threat:] If you go sticking your nose into our family affairs, maybe I'll--

No, you can't! [Rushing right back off the bed, Sanji scrambles to get between them, and his face twists in pain and fear at the same time] Reiju, you promised you wouldn't! Please!

If you tell him about the only person here who will really be there for Sanji, then you're just proving how much you don't care about him! I don't care if I end up hurt. I can defend myself, and I'm not going to let you all hurt him.

You're the weakest of them all. [He scowls, snatching the bandage roll back.] At least they're not pretending they're doing the right thing. You're just saving your own skin and telling yourself you're nice.

Go ahead and say what you want about me, but I won't let you hurt Sanji. [In any way. So if she wants to try and run off and tell someone, he will deck her right now, HE WILL DO IT...]

[If Sanji weren't in the way, wasn't standing there between them being the bleeding heart that he always is, Reiju knows she'd jump the distance and punch this boy in the nose.

Sanji must realize it, too, because in an instant he's pushing Jae-Ha back, asking him to please let it go, it's fine, Reiju is just that way, all the while ignoring his injury to keep his friend safe and defend his sister's honor.

Her lips twist as a sour aftertaste floods her mouth.]

You're the one who's hurting him. [Going for the low blows, now, and her voice is soft with a dagger's edge] I came here to help, and you're picking a fight. He's injured but has to spend his time making sure no one finds you.

What happens when you run out of apples? And my brothers see you? And Father finds you? You think that isn't hurting him, watching you run around like a silly bumpkin who can take on the world? You're just a penniless boy my brother took mercy on.

[As much as he wants to snap back at those words, Sanji is practically begging him to stop. She doesn't know what he's capable of, and there's no way he's going to give her that ammo, either. But it sure will come up the next time someone tries to seriously hurt Sanji.

But being accused of hurting him makes him doubt himself, too. He thinks he's doing what's right, handling this the best way possible... But he can see that Sanji seems to expect Reiju's care here. Maybe it would be wrong to get in the way.

Giving her the glare of a monster, he lets her keep her bandages and steps back, squeezing Sanji's hand before letting his own drop away.]

I wonder how long your excuses will make you feel better. [And then he's looking at Sanji, a silent agreement that he'll stop.] Go ahead. You need to rest. [Once she's done fixing him up.]

[Reiju doesn't know if her words have found their mark - but oh, she hopes it. Sanji might be the kindest of her family, and her other brothers are the demons, but she's the one caught in the middle, the most human of them all. She'll take delight in her good deeds and watch her enemies squirm without remorse.

How dare he presume that she isn't capable of caring for her own sibling?

Mouth still pressed into a line, she marches over, refusing to give Jae-Ha a response. Her movements are swift and efficient. Robes and shirt off, she tells Sanji, and moments later wipes his bare skin down with an ointment to ward off sickness. Then come the bandages next, and it's obvious she's used to doing this; the girl finishes in record time, with the dressings now covering Sanji's chest in neat circles.]

... Thank you, Reiju. [Her brother speaks softly. She can feel his eyes roaming her face, and normally this would be the point where she'd... try. Maybe give him an awkward pat on the head. Or tell him that things will look up once he trains enough. He's a lord's son. He has potential. He does belong to this family. ]

You need better friends, Sanji. [It's all she'll say, cruel and calculated, before gathering her things and leaving without a good night]

[If she cared, then why was she punishing Sanji because of Jae-Ha? Trying to drive him away? Jealous? He doesn't know, but he glares at the door long after it's been shut.

Finally, he moves quietly over to the bed to sit beside Sanji, staring at his own lap.]

Sorry.

[Sanji thought he couldn't feel worse, but the weight in his chest is like all the rocks in the creek piled on top of each other. He brings his knees back to his chin, mouth half-buried behind one.]

... Why are so angry at her?

[He just. Doesn't get it. Jae-Ha's fury. Reiju's already explained why she can't do the things she wants to do. She's told Sanji that she's actually kind. And he believes her, he does. Ever since mother died, she's been the only one to care at all.

He wants to keep the two of them - Reiju and Jae-Ha.]

Because kindness and care shouldn't have an ending point.

[He turns, looking to Sanji with emotional eyes as his fingers curl over his own knees. How can he properly explain this? He's been wondering it for a while now, but now the words just come out.]

When you really care, things like fear don't matter. You just do whatever you can to help. I've never had it shown to me... but that's what I feel, right here. [A hand moves up to touch over his own heart.] It would be fine for her to fear for herself if she didn't make excuses for it. It's not okay, and she knows it.

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