teaism | pls don't judge me I have so many injured guren icons okay

pls don't judge me I have so many injured guren icons okay

[Compared to this, the talking furniture from ages ago seemed almost pleasant. The door clicks shut behind them, and Guren almost wants to drop down right here. It's the first building they've come across in a while now— some sort of cabin in the woods that's falling apart just like the rest of the town they'd started in. Guren was bleeding from a variety of areas— a number of spots on his torso, his head, his face, his thigh— and that doesn't even start on the broken bones he's sporting, but he had a demon to take care of those injuries.

The man he was trying to support next to him was a different story. Hadn't they said something about not wanting to test if he could die and come back...?]

Look at me, Dex. [Guren wasn't trying to hide his worry now. He'd arrived too late, or at least that's his perspective. He shows up and something is nearly finished toying with Dextera like he's some sort of doll— something grey, with wings. Guren couldn't grasp what was happening, but interrupting had shown him that he was nearly outmatched. Nearly. With some biting words, he'd slain the creature(?) just before he was about to be offed himself. It was risky, to say the least.

But they're indoors now. Indoors, and there have to be supplies they can make use of somewhere. He staggers his next step forward as he tries to lead Dextera in, coughing blood against the back of his own hand. He's noticing that even his own injuries are staying longer than usual, somehow...]

Damn it...

[But he needs to know how Dextera is doing. How much can he handle? Guren doesn't want to find out his limit right now. One hand grips at Dextera's shoulder. They've been supporting each other the whole walk here, and he's trying not to weigh him down. His other hand, though the back of it is bloody now, rests against Dextera's chest carefully.] Sit down here.

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[ ...dextera doesn’t know the details, but he understands obsession. not with guren, not like that, but he would and has torn the world apart trying to fill the emptiness inside of him. it’s not exactly sympathy he feels for mahiru, explained through guren as she is, but he can get the desire. ]

...and now?

[ she’s different, he knows that. maybe she’s completely different, only wearing the face of the girl guren knew. he doesn’t know. they share a name. ]

Your sword... the demon.

...the demon is like a reminder that I couldn’t save her.

[ That complicated feeling. He wonders if he can explain it well enough. ] Mahiru changed while she was alive. She wasn’t herself. Her demon took over slowly and completely, and when her humanity was completely gone, I had to kill her. That’s how she got in this sword.

[ dextera can see that, somehow—it’s not a matter of liking or disliking the demon that resides in his sword, is it? she’s something guren is dealing with, and a representation of what he dealt with before, too.

he doesn’t say anything right away, instead taking in guren’s explanation in a thoughtful silence, all the while keeping a comfortable hold on guren’s hand.

hmm. ]

Then, the way to put it would be... “Mahiru” is important to “you.”

[ girl or demon, good or bad... she’s important. a part of guren. in a way, a baroque. ]

[ The hand not in Dextera’s drops to rest over his sword again, and he stares forward. ]

Yeah, that’s right. [ He couldn’t save her, but it taught him plenty about saving everyone else. Among other things, like his feelings that he still doesn’t completely understand, and a deep sadness for her position, for what she dealt with. ]

...I hope she comes back soon.

[ maybe that's weird to wish, for him or for guren. but if guren really did wake up one day and his demon was gone, what would that be like? what would it mean for him? dextera himself would hate to have the things important to him, loved or hated, taken away without knowing why or how.

so, as much of a burden as she seems to be on guren, she shouldn't go away. not yet, anyway. not under these mysterious circumstances. ]

[He blinks in clear surprise, for once, when Dextera says that, looking over to him. It's... nice, he thinks, that Dextera would say something like that. Whether it's best for him or what he needs, he's not sure, but he can't deny that it tears him apart when she's not there. The thing that Mahiru became, that demon... it's been part of him for too long. And... she's important.

He squeezes Dextera's hand lightly as his expression relaxes into a sort of smile.]

I don't think any of my friends back home would say that at all. [He can't even muster up a laugh at it, as amusing as it is. But his meaning is clear there: thanks.]

Well, I'm not your friend from back home. I'm just a stranger who likes you a lot.

[ dextera does estimate himself higher than a stranger, and it's evident in his voice—and the slight way he smiles, when he looks at guren to give that answer. he doesn't know everything about guren's past, and he doesn't need to. he just wants to have enough information to be able to make the right decisions, and say the right things. ]

[No... that gets him straight in the heart. The words, that smile— his face immediately scrunches up and flushes just enough, and he looks anywhere but at Dextera.]

S-shut up, already... "Stranger?" Don't give me that. Who would do things like that with a stranger?

[He knows it's not so serious, but it's also a great excuse to grumble so he doesn't look awestruck and madly in love or something gross like that.]

[ maybe dextera would! maybe he has a reckless side that is prone to weird kinky casual sex!! or, more realistically, he's just teasing guren and he's glad to see such a flustered reaction break the tension after that heavy exchange. hopefully mahiru returns, but there's nothing they can do about that in the meantime. ]

I don't remember my past. Maybe I was that kind of person...

[ he shouldn't be like this... but it's surprisingly hard to resist when guren is like that. ]

[No... stop... how does he deal with this?? He thought he was free of teasing, but he never truly is. He's trying his hardest not to react, but his expression is reaction enough, and he still won't look at Dextera.]

There's no way you were. [So, stop!!!]

[ dextera will stop, since he’s had his fun. he feels lighter, and it’s still so strange, so nice, to have these kinds of conversations with someone. ]

Haha... you’re probably right. [ probably. ] But I wouldn’t say we’re strangers, anyway.

[ he’s holding guren’s hand just a little tighter, now, and he braves embarrassment at the thought of this to turn his face and kiss guren’s shoulder. dumb and happy... ]

...

[He's getting emotional whiplash between his flustered anger and this soft warmth that's running through him now. He relaxes at the kiss, breathing out a half laugh, half sigh, and smiles.]

It'd be weird if you did. [Playfully, he looks up, like he's trying to remember something, running his thumb over Dextera's with their joined hands.] I bet there's a word for what we are to each other, somewhere.

[ dextera would like a word. he would really like a word, if only to hold in his heart and cling to, never telling anyone else. ]

I’ve never known anyone like you. [ he smiles, softly, to himself. “family” doesn’t work like this, but none of those romantic words have the same connotation he wants, either. the feeling he craves... it’s oneness, but guren isn’t exactly his other half. that’s a special spot for a specific person. ] You made it complicated, by being so...

[ you. ]

Are you calling me a weirdo?

[He laughs, knowing that's not the case, and warming up with the compliment. Gosh... Lifting their joined hands, he brings the back of Dextera's palm to his lips for a quiet, contemplative kiss.]

Words have never been good enough, and you and I have never needed them.

Maybe I should go back to silence.

[ a little joke, though it doesn’t sound like a completely bad idea... dextera is grateful to be able to speak, and he’s clearly been taking advantage of that, but it’s true that they’ve never needed his voice to communicate. ]

We don’t need words if we never use them. And then you won’t think I’m calling you a weirdo when I mean that I think you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever known.

[Oh no... help him. It feels like his heart might melt into his very soul, with sweet words like that. Of course, he's not sure he buys them completely— he ducks his head a little with a softer laugh. He can't keep pushing anger at it to get it away when Dextera is so close like this. So soft, and warm.]

That's a low bar. [Self-deprecating still, but it's not something that he lingers on. Even if he thinks Dextera is the one who's amazing...]

I like hearing your voice. [If he has to be honest, he will be, letting their joined hands hang between them again.] But the silence is never uncomfortable, either. Just keep doing whatever you feel like.

[ it is a pretty low bar when the only people dextera knew before he came here all kind of hated him or were so obsessed with their own baroques that they didn’t have the ability to think anything of dextera.

oh well! ]

...I’m glad to be able to talk. [ with his free hand, he touches his throat. ] There were so many things I wanted to say to you, before... and things I still do. Things I will, when I’m ready.

[ Guren’s feet slow their walking, and he turns to Dextera more completely after those words, stopping them in the path. ]

I’ll wait for whatever you want to say. [ Dextera is just too sweet... how’s a guy supposed to walk? He brings his free hand to his cheek, cupping it there as he leans in for a warm kiss, slow and adoring. ]

[ dextera thought he could get away with walking and talking...! guren proved him wrong by stopping him to kiss, of all things, but that isn't at all unwelcome. he kisses back, and the silence of this forest seems to frame the moment. when they part, he's smiling. ]

It's not very exciting. But I want to tell you anyway.

Hahaha...

[ It’s a genuine little chuckle, and he doesn’t move his face far back, nuzzling against Dextera’s instead. He’s never had reason or chance to be this affectionate? He wants it... he just wants this. ]

It’s not about being exciting.

[ dextera takes his hand away from guren's, but it's only so he can wrap his arms around guren's neck. that's where he likes to be! he seems relaxed and content, considering everything that's happened in the past few days—in the past few hours. ]

Then... [ he's pausing, genuinely considering something. ] If it's okay to be honest...?

[ His arms settle automatically around Dextera’s waist in turn, and he’s quietly enjoying that when Dextera speaks again. Words like that are almost ominous? He wonders if he did something wrong, or messed up somewhere, but his expression is unchanging as a hand smooths over Dextera’s back. ]

You can always be honest. What is it?

[ guren has never messed up in his life. dextera is a guren apologist. ]

You're too rough with my chess pieces when you get competitive. [ it was such a small thing, after all—and he knows it, because he's still smiling when he says it, like a little asshole! ] Does it bother you so much to lose?

[exCUUUUUUSE YOU]

Does it bother you that you're a little shit? [Immediately, he retorts with this, bringing his hand up to tug harshly at Dextera's ear in punishment.] Is that too rough, too? You liked it that way, earlier.

[GUREN]

Ah!

[ dextera can dish it but he can't take it!! guren is going to come out the winner of this little clash, simply because he has shamelessness on his side. dextera is only human. he can't keep up with this. ]

Th— That's different! [ but he's laughing, trying to push guren away from him now. ] I'm sorry.

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