teaism | pls don't judge me I have so many injured guren icons okay

pls don't judge me I have so many injured guren icons okay

[Compared to this, the talking furniture from ages ago seemed almost pleasant. The door clicks shut behind them, and Guren almost wants to drop down right here. It's the first building they've come across in a while now— some sort of cabin in the woods that's falling apart just like the rest of the town they'd started in. Guren was bleeding from a variety of areas— a number of spots on his torso, his head, his face, his thigh— and that doesn't even start on the broken bones he's sporting, but he had a demon to take care of those injuries.

The man he was trying to support next to him was a different story. Hadn't they said something about not wanting to test if he could die and come back...?]

Look at me, Dex. [Guren wasn't trying to hide his worry now. He'd arrived too late, or at least that's his perspective. He shows up and something is nearly finished toying with Dextera like he's some sort of doll— something grey, with wings. Guren couldn't grasp what was happening, but interrupting had shown him that he was nearly outmatched. Nearly. With some biting words, he'd slain the creature(?) just before he was about to be offed himself. It was risky, to say the least.

But they're indoors now. Indoors, and there have to be supplies they can make use of somewhere. He staggers his next step forward as he tries to lead Dextera in, coughing blood against the back of his own hand. He's noticing that even his own injuries are staying longer than usual, somehow...]

Damn it...

[But he needs to know how Dextera is doing. How much can he handle? Guren doesn't want to find out his limit right now. One hand grips at Dextera's shoulder. They've been supporting each other the whole walk here, and he's trying not to weigh him down. His other hand, though the back of it is bloody now, rests against Dextera's chest carefully.] Sit down here.

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...does it hurt?

[ that's all he wants to know. he's sure it does hurt, actually, but he's more interested in the way guren will respond to that question—he thinks that will say more about what's on his mind, rather than asking directly, or getting a completely honest yes or no.

he wanted to cut guren. that's a little frightening, but it's not the strangest thing he's ever done. dextera is prone to violence, even if he's sure that hasn't always been true. the neuro tower changed him, and this is the person that he is now—he can't be that upset when he doesn't really remember.

he just wants to know that it's okay, for him to have done this. for the two of them to have done any of this. ]

...nah. It doesn’t hurt a bit.

[ A lie, because he’ll always lie about things like that. It hurts, but it’s nothing bad anyway. His fingers move from Dextera’s hair to trace at his neck, gentle and completely different from earlier. ]

Sometimes, I want to hurt. [ A full up admission like this... but it’s not embarrassing like he thought it would be. He’s sure Dextera understands, after all. ] It’s nice to be reminded that I’m still clinging to my humanity. You don’t regret it, do you?

[ It was all okay, and all he’s worried about is that Dex knows that right now. ]

I don’t regret it.

[ dextera puts that out there before anything else, though he finds himself closing his eyes against guren’s admission to, sometimes, wanting to hurt. there are plenty of people like that he knows. alice, too, said that she was happy to be suffer, as long as it was by dextera’s hand.

he understands. pain is important. it’s critical, in fact, for the world to continue—and on a smaller scale, maybe it’s good to remember one’s humanity, too. ]

Everything we did... [ he pauses, his decency creeping up on him now. ] I liked it. I know that’s strange, but...

[ hurting guren, being hurt, tasting blood and nearly suffocating—it was exciting, and still is, reflecting on it. his stomach twists in the ghost of arousal. ]

It is strange. [He says that first, because he thinks it's important that they both remember that. It's certainly nothing normal to crave pain, causing it or feeling it, and they were both pushing that to the line.]

But I liked it, too. [But in a case like this, even he can admit it bluntly. He doesn't want Dextera thinking he didn't, after all.] We can do something like that again... but we have to set hard limits.

[He thought this through in like the ten minutes of resting here, apparently.] So neither of us gets carried away.

[ dextera most certainly does not want to get carried away. he would rather not do it at all if he thought there was any danger of that, but it seems like guren has it all under control with the way he approaches the topic now. ]

All right.

[ he nuzzles guren’s collarbone, still relaxed, but now trying not to feel nervous—inevitably, it’s like being scolded!! even if those limits are just not to kill each other. ]

I didn’t mind what you did—before. [ more than didn’t mind it! he loved it. ] Not being able to breathe.

[Guren doesn't want to admit that he got so excited his personality shifted. He's never even admitted the personality issue to begin with. Possession sounds much different, less worrying, than the idea of the demon bringing out his desires so much and then causing them to blend closer and closer to one. This isn't something he'd choose to share with even his closest person like this.

Not by choice, anyway. He brings a hand to the side of Dextera's face, touching fondly, lovingly, treasuring it.]

Oh? [Of course he liked it, he could see it all over his pleasured face. But he won't wreck him by saying that, exactly.] I wasn't too scary?

No, you weren’t.

[ if it were anyone else, maybe he would have been terrified of it. he couldn’t breathe, after all, and the limited fight in him was easily overpowered by guren’s superior physical strength. but it’s guren. even if he’s not aware of guren’s personality issues here... he trusts this stupid demonic tsundere with his life.

his eyes soften, and he covers guren’s hand with his own. ]

I don’t think I could ever be scared of you.

[ Wh...!! He’s totally caught off guard by that, blinking his eyes wider before they slide away. There’s a heat at his cheeks he doesn’t want to talk about, and he huffs out a breath. ]

I could kick your ass. Shut up.

[ He... should be scared, probably, but it’s true that Guren’s largest desire is to keep his friends safe. “Friends.” He moves, so that he doesn’t sit there obviously flustered, and uses some of that strength to lift Dextera with him as he stands. It’s about time to get out of the water, even if they rest and keep talking. ]

[ that breaks the tension, anyway, and dextera laughs softly as he’s moved out of the water by that great strength that held him under, as well.

he settles on the edge of the hot springs now, and the steam and the heat of the water keeps him from feeling too cold—even naked and wet as he is. he’s happy, warm to the bone with affection. ]

You could. [ he pauses. ] But you wouldn’t.

[ not on purpose, anyway—not with any of the malice that would have made him afraid of what they did. ]

[ Mm... he’s right. Of course he’s right, and so Guren doesn’t say a thing. He simply glances to the side as he sits next to him, as close as possible, and reaches to take his hand again.

He’s having so many feelings again. Fond, warm ones. Ones that make him look at Dextera different and reach for him, lips finally brushing softly against the broken part of Dextera’s. ] ...I’m glad I wasn’t too much.

[ He squeezes his hand. ]

[ dextera kisses back, so softly, and he finds himself following through a few more of them—kissing the corner of guren’s mouth, his chin, his jaw. ]

You weren’t. I hope I wasn’t either.

[ those hard limits that they’ll need to discuss... they don’t have to make themselves talk about it right now. all that matters is that they have each other. ]

I— [ ugh!! now he’s shy. ] I want you to feel like you can tell me anything. Even these strange feelings.

You weren’t.

[ Back to these sweet kisses, huh? He loves that. He loves them, and his hand moves up to brush some hair from Dextera’s face. To tell him anything... That’s a lot, for a guy as secretive as he can be, but he does feel like he’s getting there. ]

Haha, don’t blame my being quiet on yourself. [ Dextera does everything so nice, so supportive? He shouldn’t feel embarrassed or too worried. He’s just like that. ] I’ll tell you more. So you, too, alright?

[ unload the secrets, guren... unburden yourself... dextera doesn't actually expect too much, though, considering it's guren. he just wants to make sure it's out there. ]

...I will. [ and then, a pause. ] I guess all of that wasn't normal for a hot spring.

[ a subtle way of changing the subject while still keeping it relevant! he's never experienced one before, but he has the strangest inclination that people don't normally go right for sex after slipping into those nice healing waters. ]

[He laughs at that. He bled all over the water, their blood was mixing in his mouth, and Dextera was near drowning? But even regular sex in a hot spring is scandalous. It's kind of funny, realizing that they're just sitting naked over here after doing something so sinful. He likes it.]

No. Normally, you just sit there and soak. [He moves a hand to his own chest, drawing fingers over the wounds that have stopped bleeding even if they are pretty fresh.]

But I feel relaxed after all of that. Don't you?

I really do.

[ dextera surprises himself with how much he means it, actually. his heart rate has slowed back to normal—normal for other people, actually, which is strange for him who is so often in a state of twitching panic. ]

I think it would be nice to do it either way, though. Soaking... [ he looks at guren’s chest again, more confident now than he was that he’ll be just fine. ] Maybe next time.

It would be. [Hmm, look at this cute Dextera... He's watching him fondly, suddenly overcome with the feeling that he's glad they met. That he's glad they got to know each other, and did everything that they've done. He's full sap mode, and for once, it's all over his face.]

Next time, then. It's a date. [His first comment even remotely close to addressing all of this. Again, as his hand parts from his chest, it seeks out one of Dextera's to hold.]

[ a date...

dextera actually blushes at this, surprising himself with the force of his own embarrassment—his ears burn even over the toasty heat of his skin from soaking in the water, but he doesn’t let go of guren’s hand or reject him in any way.

he even laces their fingers together, although he avoids guren’s fond gaze now. ]

I... I guess it is. [ he’d said it without thinking, but now... he wants this. ] Thank you.

[ what kind of idiot says thank you at a time like this... ]

[Be still his heart. If he was uncertain about admitting any of this before, he's certainly less so now, seeing that reaction.]

Haha, what? Why are you thanking me?

[And that. He's sure it stems from self-deprecation, but it's still cute in this moment, right now.] You're turning more red than me. [Get it, because he's bloody?? Haha.]

I don’t know.

[ he doesn’t know why he’s thanking guren!! he’s just shy now, and he doesn’t know what to say now that guren has taken a step, however teeny tiny, toward acknowledging this thing in some kind of concrete sense. ]

I’m just happy.

[ a very pure answer, which is why it’s so quiet. he’s still not looking, though!! ]

[ Somehow, Dextera’s embarrassment makes it easier to ignore his own. His fondness is overflowing, disgusting himself, but he’s so happy about it. His free hand gently takes Dextera’s chin to turn him to face him. ]

I’m happy, too. [ For once, he is... he can admit it. He closes the space between them with a soft kiss. That hand drops swag shortly after, and he squeezes the one he’s holding. It’s more than he’d normally say, but it’s never enough. He has too much he wants to say. ]

What should we do now, then?

[ dextera is anything but disgusted with guren's fondness, or his own, even though he maybe should be for how powerful it is. ]

...I want to get dressed.

[ he's had his fill of being naked!! he feels vulnerable and quite exposed like this, especially when guren is looking at him like he's important or beloved or something!! that's so crazy!!!

but he has a humor about him when he says it, since he realizes that's probably not much of an answer at all. ]

[ No, that’s good, that’s the sort of answer Guren was hoping for. He really doesn’t want someone to come across them chilling naked by some hot springs? And he feels more comfortable in pants. So, he laughs, a genuine thing, and shifts to stand. He offers a hand to Dextera so he can come over with him to get their clothes back on. ]

As nice as this little spot is, I think we should probably move away. [ That water was a little too encouraging. It was fine this time, but... ] We have a lot of time left in the day, but that doesn’t mean we have to go far, either.

[ a second round might actually kill him, and he doesn’t want to stick around to find out if it would. it seems like an inevitability that he and guren will maybe fool around a few more times before they’re out of the forest entirely, but they shouldn’t push their luck or their stamina.

so he’s listening, nodding along to guren’s words as he pulls his clothes on—stupid little bracelets and all! accessories are important. ]

I think a walk would be good. [ clear their heads... you know. mostly he’s agreeing to a journey, if guren is up for it. ] I feel refreshed.

Great. Then we’ll take a walk.

[ He does hope they find a way out soon, after all... But for now, it’s wandering and wondering if they’re going to screw around some more. Maybe they’ll stick to softer intimate things for now... He buttons his jacket up. ]

Oh. [ He hasn’t forgotten that he’s having issues, of course, but he does want to make it sound less alarming that Mahiru isn’t contacting him. ] Let’s make sure we stay alert. I still can’t connect properly with Mahiru-no-yo.

[ dextera is worried about that, and it shows on his face when guren mentions it, but the spring really has left him refreshed and relaxed. he’s not sedated, but he can accept that guren might know what he’s talking about. ]

...has anything like this happened before?

[ he’s a bit different when he’s like this—dextera’s usual softness is there, in his voice, but he looks better than he has in a while. not just from the spring, though it’s helped, but there seems to be a confidence slightly filling out his shoulders that wasn’t there when they first went on this trip into the forest. he seems almost collected, or at least capable of it.

the power of ~love~ ]

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