teaism | I couldn't utter my love when it counted

We'll fight together. I'll show you what it means to be adored for who you are, and I'll guide you down the path that will lead you to redemption.

[And I'll shower you with a love only I can, so you never fear loneliness again.

He thinks it. He wishes it, more strongly than anything. He knows Eichi admonished him for confessing in the heat of their first attempted escape, so he'll wait an eternity and an eternity more, until Eichi feels the same way, to say it again.]

I fear we've missed our planned live. We're still a unit, aren't we? Just the two of us?

Redemption... I wonder if I'm someone who deserves that, though.

[It seems like something is on his mind when he says that, and one of his hands pulls back to himself to trail over the bandage on his face— but Wataru's question snaps him out of it, and he blinks.]

Ah, that's right, I didn't tell you. We are still a unit, and we did in fact miss that performance. It was scheduled to be our premiere, so it is a shame, but I've already dealt with things behind the scenes. The public is even more interested than before, since they believe that we've delayed it to increase the likability of the show.

I'm sorry to trouble you with it, but we'll have to rework our routine to be a little more daring, to make up for this.

[Wataru falls silent, thinking, looking down at Eichi with all his affection worn plainly on his battered face. That face, damaged as well, moves Wataru like nothing else. He'll fight forever.]

I had a thought... that perhaps the angelic theme isn't so suitable for us after all. We should think hard again on our image, and settle on another, new name. I'm sorry to put pressure on you, so if you disagree, we can just rework our image. I have no interest in looking like a benevolent savior anymore, though. Eichi... we're so much more than that. We're timeless. We're eternal.

That isn't something to apologize for. So, you'd like to rework it entirely? Then perhaps it truly was fate that held us back...

[He lifts himself just slightly, and even if he's frail and hurt, it looks like he's able to hold himself up like this, hair slightly in his face, looking down at Wataru.]

Was there an image you had in mind? Since we're a two-person unit, I'll value your input fully, of course.

I think we should find something a little more defiant, if we're going to challenge fate itself. Isn't that what we're doing? I, your humble jester, and you, my illustrious emperor, fighting together against lifetimes of partings.

[He looks thoughtful, eyes fixed on Eichi's beautiful face, his ethereal, angelic face, marred by villains but still the most wonderful thing Wataru has ever seen. Framed by a halo of hair, Eichi couldn't look more sublime. It moves Wataru.]

Such as it is, being that we're two sides of one whole, we could challenge... a theme of yin and yang perhaps? The eternal struggle inside oneself, two parts that cannot exist without each other and that are ideally in equilibrium.

[Eichi smiles, and it's got a new touch of fondness to it that he's never let show before. That he's not sure he ever allowed himself to feel, before now. But he's more fond of Wataru each day, and this... this sounds like everything he wants.]

You're right. As you said, we're fighting fate, and we're... eternal, aren't we? I completely agree with that sort of theme, and it's not too difficult of a transition, either. I believe it would be received well.

[He pulls a hand back to tap at his own chin.]

Hmm... We'll need a new name, then. How about... Aeternus? [He expects Wataru to know what that means.] And then, there's the matter of that theme... Shall one of us represent each? If that's the case, as I imagine is most effective, would you prefer to be yin or yang, Wataru?

For a decision like that... I'd like to leave it entirely to you.

[Wataru lives for that fondness. It takes his breath away, makes him smile broader than he ever has. Maybe he is a fool to adore Eichi so, but seeing some of that reflected back on him is... blissful.

He listens carefully, nodding with each suggestion, completely rapt.]

Yin, of course! Let me be the darkness to your light. I've accepted that your shadow is where I'm happiest, but at the same time, don't I balance you out? For us to remain in perfect harmony, we'll have to give and take, little by little, and we'll always have a little piece of the other at our core. It's perfect, isn't it? This concept is uniquely us.

[And the name, the name makes Wataru want to burst into song and dance right there. They'll stylize it, somehow. No one will be able to mistake them for anything but the eternal harmony they'll purport to be, once this is done.]

Then we'll put in the paperwork tomorrow! [He's forgotten for a moment that he's in the hospital, but it occurs to him, and he looks around.] Or... whenever we return to school. We'll go back side by side, won't we?

We will. Just this once, I'll stay in the hospital without a fuss, until you've recovered enough to be released.

[He sneaks in a brush of lips against the side of Wataru's shoulder, smiling as he cuddles closer. The guard at the door clears his throat like he's supposed to discourage this but is too afraid to say anything.]

In the meantime, I'll have our dance routine reworked completely, and lyrics looked into. This will be a huge reveal, Wataru... It's exciting, isn't it? Ah, by the way, your hair...

I'll have my best men style it however you'd like, so take the time to consider it.

[He smiles, a little confused.]

Was I... injured more severely than you were? I can't remember everything. It just stopped hurting, after a while.

[He looks down at his hands for a moment, prodding awkwardly at the IV.]

Eichi, I'm so sorry this happened. That I let myself get caught, that you had to be in harm's way. I think I'll take some more classes in martial arts, perhaps... That way it won't happen again.

[Then he turns on a soft, bittersweet smile, and looks Eichi in the eyes. This is all so hard, but they have a wonderful future ahead of them, and Eichi will lead the way for now. Wataru doesn't mind following for a while.]

I'm ready to debut with you. I'm only sorry I won't be at my best. You've... been so fond of my hair. You stare at it, you know. And now it's a wreck, and I don't know what to do. I've grown it out for years. Should I wear it short? Should I try to disguise the removed section? You may have to advise me when we can get to a salon.

Saying that you've noticed me staring, it makes me feel a bit embarrassed, you know? It's just that you're someone beautiful, Wataru. Whatever you do with your hair won't change that at all.

I just always thought it looked quite like moonlight.

[He breathes slowly, stroking his fingers across Wataru's cheek, still fond.]

You are like the moon itself, so perhaps it's fitting indeed that you've chosen our roles as such. You're splendid, and large to me. Glowing, just out of reach. And here you are, blaming yourself and insisting on training to defend the both of us. I won't refuse that, you know. Whatever you might do to push yourself for my sake is only inspiring to watch. I feel flattered.

[Hmm.]

As for your hair... there are solutions. You could simply add extensions, of course, but I believe that would belittle your experience. So... a change that might reflect our unit? Perhaps an a-line to mimic a crescent moon. You can still have up-dos, I believe, with enough bobby pins, or you could leave it down. Ultimately, it's your choice, isn't it?

I'll always push myself for you, Eichi. It's because I... care so much! Because our fates are one, and I swore it would be so, until death and death and death again!

[He lives to call Eichi out, so he won't apologize for noting his obsession with his hair. But it's fine. Eichi's hair is like the golden halo he shouldn't have, a contradiction to Wataru, an angelic icon to others. Eichi, this bundle of other people's expectations and misconceptions, just trying to live for himself, honestly, appeals to Wataru more than anything else ever has. He's fascinating, and Wataru wants more and more, greedily, hungrily.]

I'll consider a trim. I don't want to lose the front, but I doubt I can put it in the usual bun anymore. Maybe a few inches off overall to lessen the dramatic nature, and have it layered... As you say, there are options. I just can't think of them so easily when I'm mourning the loss!

[A little laugh.]

Maybe I'll bleach part of one braid a most Eichi-like golden color, as tribute to our theme.

If it's for our theme, then shouldn't I match? Would you like me to do something with my hair, Wataru?

[It's said softly, with a little laugh, but he really would if asked. To... make up for this, really. Either way, though...]

Back to an earlier question you had, Wataru, you were injured more than I was. My injuries were minor in comparison, though it's true that my weak body couldn't handle it and even a normal person would have been required to be hospitalized for this... The fact of the matter is that yours were quite serious.

If you get to a point where pain is no longer felt, that's dangerous, you know? I thought you might leave me behind.

I don't know if I can imagine you doing anything to your hair like that... it's bad, dyeing it too much. It might get brittle. Maybe you can clip a strand in for performances?

[He's trying to be light and positive, but it's all a show right now. He wants to be out of the hospital, back to normal, happy and carefree. It's a lot to ask, apparently.]

I see... I alarmed you. I'm sorry, once more. My body is recovering now, though, so the moment I can dance, I'll be back at your side. Eternally. Just don't leave me behind, either.

I won't.

[He leaves it simply at that, allowing silence to wash over them for a few moments while they relax. In each other's embrace, in a hospital bed, each attached to IVs... After a moment, though, he hums like he's thinking aloud.]

You know... Both of my parents will return to being quite busy very soon. They'll be out on near constant trips.

Why don't we make good use of that time? If it's for the reason of practicing as a unit to make up for our last time, I'm certain I could convince the staff to allow you to stay over without a word.

[He'd feel lost now, if Eichi were to vanish. He still fears being alone, and after their ordeal, he's a bit... skittish, he thinks is the best way to put it. Less gently, he's terrified. But he adores Eichi too much to give up. They'll push on.

Oh, but that's good news he's sharing! Wataru beams, still clinging to Eichi, pressing soft kisses to his cheek and temple.]

Do you really want me to stay with you? My parents shouldn't have a problem with it... I'd get to see you every day, from morning until night! Be careful that I don't annoy you~!

I wouldn't offer it if it wasn't something that I wanted, you know.

[His voice is lower, quiet and intimate so the guard at the door really can't hear them. He smiles at the kisses, cheeks flushing a little for it.]

I believe there is still much we could learn about one another. Even tied together with fate, we shouldn't skip normal things that other high schoolers get to enjoy. In the privacy of my mansion, let's work hard... but let's also take time to enjoy ourselves.

Well? What do you think? That sort of proposition is a little unlike me, isn't it~?

[This whispering has Wataru taking it a way that he knows it's definitely not intended and it's not like he's had thoughts about Eichi or anything no of course not but his face is... really getting red all of a sudden.]

It's true that we have a very long way to go. I like that about us. Even if I love you with all my heart, we're still merely classmates and unitmates, and I don't have a single right to your confidences! We'll work hard side by side, and we'll learn each other inside and out.

[He smiles, shy.]

It's unlike you, but I'm so enchanted by it that I might float off into the sky thinking about it. Being alone with you... it's a dream.

[Is he sure it's entirely not intended to be heard that way? Is he?]

I'd like to offer you a challenge, in that time. Regardless of whether you'll take it, would you humor me and listen to it?

[His finger trails a circle over Wataru's chest, over his heart. Their shared mark... He wonders what the nurses must have thought seeing Wataru's.]

I already admire you. Your talents, your strengths, your heart. However... I have difficulty understanding you, and I believe I've thought of just what it must be. Those feelings you talk about, enchantment, and hopes and dreams...

I'd like to believe in them blindly, but I've been ruined to that sort of mindset. Everything is a goal with set tasks. Things like magic and love, which you seem to excel in, are things that I can't comprehend, and it baffles me.

I'd like you to try to grant me that understanding. To win me over, if you will. All the while, though I'll allow you to do whatever you'd like, I'll hold on tightly to your hand and forbid you from floating away. Fufu... how does that sound?

[He's not sure, now. Not with Eichi touching him so gently. He'd like to just float away after all, as long as Eichi goes with him, to a place that's just for the two of them, a utopia where no one can interrupt this proposition he's just made.]

Eichi... I'll show you! I'll show you love, magic, hopes and dreams you can only guess at now! I'll make your world Amazing! If I couldn't would I be your own personal, dearly beloved Wataru Hibiki? I'd still just be everyone's, and that's not good enough anymore. No, I need to be yours. It's just more fun!

[Don't ask how, but he reaches behind Eichi's ear and pulls a rose from behind it. Magic.]

This little bloom of an idea, from you to me... Let's make it grow. A whole garden of roses, endless possibilities! [He offers the flower to Eichi.] I'll protect you from the thorns, and only let you see the beautiful things. Through it all, if you try your hardest to see the core of Amazing, you'll become just as light and free as I am!

[The rose is pulled out, and Eichi looks genuinely amazed. Eyes a little wide, pulling back to clap his hands like an excited schoolgirl before he accepts the rose, laughing softly.]

Wah, that's incredible... How did you get a rose, even in a place like this?

[The meaning behind this, too... He can't deny that his heart is beating fast. He's excited about putting this challenge out there. He wants to run at each other full force and feel what love really is.]

As part of my promise to you, I'll open my mind completely to it. Through this, I believe we'll also find the ultimate balance in our unit. [He brings the flower closer to his face, smelling it, smiling down at it.]

Say, Wataru... Since this meeting of ours began, I can't help but wonder if this might be some sort of elaborate dream. That I might be in a coma, all alone in my hospital room, and my mind is making this up as I drift towards an early death. It's a fear of mine, you know.

Tell me... this is reality, isn't it?

Shall I reveal my secrets? I'll tell all if you unlock love and Amazing~!

[Anything to make Eichi smile like that. It's become quite the priority for Wataru, Eichi's smile. He cups his hands around Eichi's, helping him lift the flower, watching him with love in his eyes.]

This is reality.

[His hands leave the rose and go to Eichi's cheeks, stroking them softly as he leans in for a kiss. It's gentle, but it lingers, Wataru heedless of the shifting of the guard, just him lost in a little world with Eichi that no one can touch or destroy ever again.]

I'm real, you're real, and we are both here. It's not a glamorous place to be, this hospital bed! But it suits me just fine if only because I get to be so close to you. You understand that feeling, don't you? Why, if you don't, I'll be hurt!

[A kiss on his lips, right here? It's a good thing he's not hooked up to his heart monitor right now, because it feels like he's soaring. He wants more and more of these. Each one creates a new rush of excitement, pushes him along further, and his cheeks are burning for it, a smile cracking through even when he tries to stay composed. He laughs, gently.]

I do understand, Wataru... Though it may be difficult for you to believe me, I hold you dear to my heart already. I'd like not just to understand these feelings more, but to experience them.

So this is reality...

[He seems glad about it, a free hand brushing over his own lips. The guard clears his throat at the door, but Eichi ignores him.]

In that case, I may be excited to continue living. [Pulling back, reluctantly, he looks down at Wataru.]

Ah, but I have those tasks I promised you to do, real quick. Notably, to be sure that the guard that helped you isn't harmed... I'll be back shortly after I arrange that.

[Wataru will gradually come to love him more, to need him more, to not be able to go a waking moment without wanting to embrace or kiss Eichi. He knows this is an inevitability, and he's excited for it. For that closeness. For that certainty.

Until then, he'll carefully guide Eichi along. Until the day he'll hear Eichi say he loves him, too. It's a foregone thing in Wataru's mind, their love, the way they'll someday feel. He rushes to it, runs up with arms spread wide and grabs onto the feeling, unwilling to let go. It's too precious to not chase.]

I think you'll learn very quickly just what those feelings might be. I'll help you every step of the way. My dear Eichi! You'll soon love life as much as you love being an idol!

[He sighs happily and flops back down on the bed, knowing full well he's still injured. Yet he still acts a bit surprised when flopping back knocks the wind out of him, and he wheezes gently, trying to conceal his discomfort.]

Go, then. I'll rest here a little more, and see about looking into the gifts that were left. It's very kind of our classmates to do something like that.

Mm. I think you should. Rest well, Wataru.

[Eichi doesn't say it, but he thinks he noticed something between his own gifts and Wataru's. There seems to be a clear difference between a gift given purely for show and one from the heart. He hadn't been able to truly experience it until now, but... He thinks he's understanding bit by bit.

He flashes a smile at the guard by the door as he slips out of bed and grabs his IV again, and the guard averts his eyes. Eichi moves past him and begins speaking to one of the nurses in the hall, and from there, even as he moves back to his hospital bed to wait, it's clear he's working.

Thankfully, the rest of their time in the hospital goes smoothly. Eichi's health isn't the best it's ever been, but it gets to a steady enough place that he can leave, and Wataru's injuries are apparently looking great for healing, as well. He's instructed that he's welcome to do his usual idol activities, but that he should remember to take it easy and not do anything too extreme for the next month or so, to be absolutely sure.

Of course, Eichi's plans might push that a little. He has them practicing in a way that pushes the both of them, but Wataru recovering means that the blonde at least is slightly more aware of remembering break times. Still, though, he does push himself. Even now, he's panting and out of breath, so focused on practicing their routine that he's not speaking nearly as much as usual. Their bodies do the talking in this, after all. Yin and yang, two halves of a whole, dark and light, coming together, brushing and crossing and clashing and melding.

The appeal is different compared to how fine was, and Eichi likes that. It makes him more versatile as an idol, even if it pushes his capabilities like this. He's sweating, at least, so it means his body is functioning that much, even if his chest aches. With his limited breath, he speaks:]

What do you think? With that latest addition, it draws us closer quite intimately... I believe it carries across what we were hoping for a bit better when we push lines like that.

[Wataru focuses on recovery, and somehow, despite scars and bruises and his poor, poor hair, he's in fine shape when he leaves the hospital.

Then it's back to business. First of all, they have to get new songs. They have to learn them, choreograph them, come up with costumes that suit their unit so they can participate in lives and be taken seriously at school. They focus on performance first, with the comparative downtime reserved for singing lessons, school, and costume design. Today it's dance practice, and Wataru has noticed Eichi getting more and more breathless as they go along. The dances for this unit are far less refined than fine, far more aggressive, almost sensual at times. There's a constant push and pull. What's more, Eichi seems to be guiding it that way.

When Wataru suggests a change, it's considered. Then Eichi rises up to perfect it, out of further consideration for the unit image, and it elevates from idea to art. Wataru will never not envy him that ease of transforming ideas into reality. Oh, but it's a loving envy. He's happy Eichi has such a wonderful skill.

This last dance move, they've rewritten five times, and each time it's gotten them closer and closer together. They're both sweating, and so close that Wataru's head spins. He has to be professional during dance rehearsal. They break away from each other after the final pose, and Wataru, blushing charmingly, goes to retrieve water for them both.]

It's not quite suggestive, but it still suggests emotional intimacy. It suits the lyrics perfectly! We'll definitely surprise everyone with this.

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