teaism | I couldn't utter my love when it counted

Hm? That's unexpected... there was someone who helped you, Wataru? If that's the case, then of course I'd like them to receive better treatment than the rest. I'll pull strings and have them removed, so long as I can properly locate them without causing a scandal in the group. Leave it to me.

[Z... He'll look into it immediately. But as he's thinking, Wataru's other thoughts hit him, and he smiles, properly climbing into the bed now and cuddling up to Wataru's side. It's funny, how easy this is, when things had been so tense before...]

You don't have to win them over, Wataru. I understand your concerns, but the truth is that they're not the sort of people to view others in a light you can understand... It's purely business. I'm not their "son," I'm their precious heir, you know? It's that sort of thing.

There's no concern for what light you might bring to my life. It's only a matter of helping me carry the family name or not. So, with that in mind... I hope that you won't focus on it. We'll continue to push forward, and these struggles will become nothing.

More importantly, it seems as though a number of people were looking for the both of us while we were missing. There are flowers and gifts on the table to your other side, for when you'd like to look at them.

[Just a few, but they are there— flowers, a teddy bear, maybe a toy dove or two. Little things, now that they've been found.]

Are you alright, though?

Thank you.

[His smile is soft, and is grows strained as Eichi explains. Of course, he must've known it was something like that, or they wouldn't have tried to get rid of him. Wataru never meant to be a problem, but now that he is, he supposes he might as well wear it as a badge of pride and honor. He's the one who will end the Tenshouin bloodline, he thinks, and laughs in spite of himself. Oh, it's not as though Eichi will ever really love him, and it's not as though he'll keep him around forever. Wataru is too shell-shocked by the events of the last few... days? Weeks? To think of himself as anything but a temporary presence on the earth.

He looks over to where Eichi mentions, and notes... there are gifts? And flowers? But who...? He'd thought he'd alienated what was left of his friends when he joined Eichi, but it seems he was wrong. He was missed. He was searched for. They both were. It makes his chest ache dully. It certainly isn't how he wanted to find out he's loved, or at the very least, not anathema. He keeps staring at the gifts.]

Me? Oh, I'm... I'm sore! I think I may have pushed myself a bit too hard, but I couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to you. It's like my body was moving itself. I'm more concerned about you. What did they do to you?

[At that question, Eichi is silent for a moment, his thin smile brushing against the side of Wataru's arm as he ducks to tuck himself closer. His slender fingers brush down the magician's chest, over any bandages. There's a nurse in the hall peeking over the guard's shoulder in alarm at Eichi's heart monitor— but seeing how he's well enough to be fully in Wataru's bed, she's more occupied on looking a little flustered. The guard waves her off.]

I believe... that it's nothing that we should dwell on. I don't want to upset you any more than this. [Carefully, his fingers dance back up and find some of Wataru's hair. Mm...]

I'm sorry. It seems that becoming involved with me has caused you more problems than not.

[Ah, his hair. He remembers now, and reaches back to feel it. There's a large swath cut short in the center back, crudely cropped higher than his shoulders. Wataru sighs, then smiles at Eichi. He'll have to adopt a new hairstyle for a while, he supposes, but he'll be here with Eichi by his side. Or him by Eichi's, however the cards may fall.]

We won't dwell on it. We'll recover, and move on. We're safe from here on, aren't we? You've made sure of that. I know your mind.

[He slides off his heart monitor, too, and slips an arm around Eichi, holding him close by his side. There's nothing else to do but sit here comfortably and pray the future is better.]

I'll always be by your side, Eichi. Not even this will keep me away.

Don't allow it to chase you to your death, either, Wataru.

[His voice is so much softer as that arm settles around him. Fingers curl into Wataru's ruined hair, and he knows he can offer the best of the best to fix it into a nice style for him, but... It wasn't voluntary. It was a violation against something long grown. He hates it. He can still taste that man's blood in his mouth.]

If even you disappear and leave me alone, then what more is there to do with this fate? I won't accept it. Do you understand? If we are two sides of the same coin, then you can't go stripping one side. We must do everything together...

I won't allow anything less than that. If I believe that this won't improve, then I'd rather cast you aside and have us both live on in loneliness. Tell me that you understand. Promise me that you'll do everything you can not just to keep me alive, but to live at my side.

We'll fight together. I'll show you what it means to be adored for who you are, and I'll guide you down the path that will lead you to redemption.

[And I'll shower you with a love only I can, so you never fear loneliness again.

He thinks it. He wishes it, more strongly than anything. He knows Eichi admonished him for confessing in the heat of their first attempted escape, so he'll wait an eternity and an eternity more, until Eichi feels the same way, to say it again.]

I fear we've missed our planned live. We're still a unit, aren't we? Just the two of us?

Redemption... I wonder if I'm someone who deserves that, though.

[It seems like something is on his mind when he says that, and one of his hands pulls back to himself to trail over the bandage on his face— but Wataru's question snaps him out of it, and he blinks.]

Ah, that's right, I didn't tell you. We are still a unit, and we did in fact miss that performance. It was scheduled to be our premiere, so it is a shame, but I've already dealt with things behind the scenes. The public is even more interested than before, since they believe that we've delayed it to increase the likability of the show.

I'm sorry to trouble you with it, but we'll have to rework our routine to be a little more daring, to make up for this.

[Wataru falls silent, thinking, looking down at Eichi with all his affection worn plainly on his battered face. That face, damaged as well, moves Wataru like nothing else. He'll fight forever.]

I had a thought... that perhaps the angelic theme isn't so suitable for us after all. We should think hard again on our image, and settle on another, new name. I'm sorry to put pressure on you, so if you disagree, we can just rework our image. I have no interest in looking like a benevolent savior anymore, though. Eichi... we're so much more than that. We're timeless. We're eternal.

That isn't something to apologize for. So, you'd like to rework it entirely? Then perhaps it truly was fate that held us back...

[He lifts himself just slightly, and even if he's frail and hurt, it looks like he's able to hold himself up like this, hair slightly in his face, looking down at Wataru.]

Was there an image you had in mind? Since we're a two-person unit, I'll value your input fully, of course.

I think we should find something a little more defiant, if we're going to challenge fate itself. Isn't that what we're doing? I, your humble jester, and you, my illustrious emperor, fighting together against lifetimes of partings.

[He looks thoughtful, eyes fixed on Eichi's beautiful face, his ethereal, angelic face, marred by villains but still the most wonderful thing Wataru has ever seen. Framed by a halo of hair, Eichi couldn't look more sublime. It moves Wataru.]

Such as it is, being that we're two sides of one whole, we could challenge... a theme of yin and yang perhaps? The eternal struggle inside oneself, two parts that cannot exist without each other and that are ideally in equilibrium.

[Eichi smiles, and it's got a new touch of fondness to it that he's never let show before. That he's not sure he ever allowed himself to feel, before now. But he's more fond of Wataru each day, and this... this sounds like everything he wants.]

You're right. As you said, we're fighting fate, and we're... eternal, aren't we? I completely agree with that sort of theme, and it's not too difficult of a transition, either. I believe it would be received well.

[He pulls a hand back to tap at his own chin.]

Hmm... We'll need a new name, then. How about... Aeternus? [He expects Wataru to know what that means.] And then, there's the matter of that theme... Shall one of us represent each? If that's the case, as I imagine is most effective, would you prefer to be yin or yang, Wataru?

For a decision like that... I'd like to leave it entirely to you.

[Wataru lives for that fondness. It takes his breath away, makes him smile broader than he ever has. Maybe he is a fool to adore Eichi so, but seeing some of that reflected back on him is... blissful.

He listens carefully, nodding with each suggestion, completely rapt.]

Yin, of course! Let me be the darkness to your light. I've accepted that your shadow is where I'm happiest, but at the same time, don't I balance you out? For us to remain in perfect harmony, we'll have to give and take, little by little, and we'll always have a little piece of the other at our core. It's perfect, isn't it? This concept is uniquely us.

[And the name, the name makes Wataru want to burst into song and dance right there. They'll stylize it, somehow. No one will be able to mistake them for anything but the eternal harmony they'll purport to be, once this is done.]

Then we'll put in the paperwork tomorrow! [He's forgotten for a moment that he's in the hospital, but it occurs to him, and he looks around.] Or... whenever we return to school. We'll go back side by side, won't we?

We will. Just this once, I'll stay in the hospital without a fuss, until you've recovered enough to be released.

[He sneaks in a brush of lips against the side of Wataru's shoulder, smiling as he cuddles closer. The guard at the door clears his throat like he's supposed to discourage this but is too afraid to say anything.]

In the meantime, I'll have our dance routine reworked completely, and lyrics looked into. This will be a huge reveal, Wataru... It's exciting, isn't it? Ah, by the way, your hair...

I'll have my best men style it however you'd like, so take the time to consider it.

[He smiles, a little confused.]

Was I... injured more severely than you were? I can't remember everything. It just stopped hurting, after a while.

[He looks down at his hands for a moment, prodding awkwardly at the IV.]

Eichi, I'm so sorry this happened. That I let myself get caught, that you had to be in harm's way. I think I'll take some more classes in martial arts, perhaps... That way it won't happen again.

[Then he turns on a soft, bittersweet smile, and looks Eichi in the eyes. This is all so hard, but they have a wonderful future ahead of them, and Eichi will lead the way for now. Wataru doesn't mind following for a while.]

I'm ready to debut with you. I'm only sorry I won't be at my best. You've... been so fond of my hair. You stare at it, you know. And now it's a wreck, and I don't know what to do. I've grown it out for years. Should I wear it short? Should I try to disguise the removed section? You may have to advise me when we can get to a salon.

Saying that you've noticed me staring, it makes me feel a bit embarrassed, you know? It's just that you're someone beautiful, Wataru. Whatever you do with your hair won't change that at all.

I just always thought it looked quite like moonlight.

[He breathes slowly, stroking his fingers across Wataru's cheek, still fond.]

You are like the moon itself, so perhaps it's fitting indeed that you've chosen our roles as such. You're splendid, and large to me. Glowing, just out of reach. And here you are, blaming yourself and insisting on training to defend the both of us. I won't refuse that, you know. Whatever you might do to push yourself for my sake is only inspiring to watch. I feel flattered.

[Hmm.]

As for your hair... there are solutions. You could simply add extensions, of course, but I believe that would belittle your experience. So... a change that might reflect our unit? Perhaps an a-line to mimic a crescent moon. You can still have up-dos, I believe, with enough bobby pins, or you could leave it down. Ultimately, it's your choice, isn't it?

I'll always push myself for you, Eichi. It's because I... care so much! Because our fates are one, and I swore it would be so, until death and death and death again!

[He lives to call Eichi out, so he won't apologize for noting his obsession with his hair. But it's fine. Eichi's hair is like the golden halo he shouldn't have, a contradiction to Wataru, an angelic icon to others. Eichi, this bundle of other people's expectations and misconceptions, just trying to live for himself, honestly, appeals to Wataru more than anything else ever has. He's fascinating, and Wataru wants more and more, greedily, hungrily.]

I'll consider a trim. I don't want to lose the front, but I doubt I can put it in the usual bun anymore. Maybe a few inches off overall to lessen the dramatic nature, and have it layered... As you say, there are options. I just can't think of them so easily when I'm mourning the loss!

[A little laugh.]

Maybe I'll bleach part of one braid a most Eichi-like golden color, as tribute to our theme.

If it's for our theme, then shouldn't I match? Would you like me to do something with my hair, Wataru?

[It's said softly, with a little laugh, but he really would if asked. To... make up for this, really. Either way, though...]

Back to an earlier question you had, Wataru, you were injured more than I was. My injuries were minor in comparison, though it's true that my weak body couldn't handle it and even a normal person would have been required to be hospitalized for this... The fact of the matter is that yours were quite serious.

If you get to a point where pain is no longer felt, that's dangerous, you know? I thought you might leave me behind.

I don't know if I can imagine you doing anything to your hair like that... it's bad, dyeing it too much. It might get brittle. Maybe you can clip a strand in for performances?

[He's trying to be light and positive, but it's all a show right now. He wants to be out of the hospital, back to normal, happy and carefree. It's a lot to ask, apparently.]

I see... I alarmed you. I'm sorry, once more. My body is recovering now, though, so the moment I can dance, I'll be back at your side. Eternally. Just don't leave me behind, either.

I won't.

[He leaves it simply at that, allowing silence to wash over them for a few moments while they relax. In each other's embrace, in a hospital bed, each attached to IVs... After a moment, though, he hums like he's thinking aloud.]

You know... Both of my parents will return to being quite busy very soon. They'll be out on near constant trips.

Why don't we make good use of that time? If it's for the reason of practicing as a unit to make up for our last time, I'm certain I could convince the staff to allow you to stay over without a word.

[He'd feel lost now, if Eichi were to vanish. He still fears being alone, and after their ordeal, he's a bit... skittish, he thinks is the best way to put it. Less gently, he's terrified. But he adores Eichi too much to give up. They'll push on.

Oh, but that's good news he's sharing! Wataru beams, still clinging to Eichi, pressing soft kisses to his cheek and temple.]

Do you really want me to stay with you? My parents shouldn't have a problem with it... I'd get to see you every day, from morning until night! Be careful that I don't annoy you~!

I wouldn't offer it if it wasn't something that I wanted, you know.

[His voice is lower, quiet and intimate so the guard at the door really can't hear them. He smiles at the kisses, cheeks flushing a little for it.]

I believe there is still much we could learn about one another. Even tied together with fate, we shouldn't skip normal things that other high schoolers get to enjoy. In the privacy of my mansion, let's work hard... but let's also take time to enjoy ourselves.

Well? What do you think? That sort of proposition is a little unlike me, isn't it~?

[This whispering has Wataru taking it a way that he knows it's definitely not intended and it's not like he's had thoughts about Eichi or anything no of course not but his face is... really getting red all of a sudden.]

It's true that we have a very long way to go. I like that about us. Even if I love you with all my heart, we're still merely classmates and unitmates, and I don't have a single right to your confidences! We'll work hard side by side, and we'll learn each other inside and out.

[He smiles, shy.]

It's unlike you, but I'm so enchanted by it that I might float off into the sky thinking about it. Being alone with you... it's a dream.

[Is he sure it's entirely not intended to be heard that way? Is he?]

I'd like to offer you a challenge, in that time. Regardless of whether you'll take it, would you humor me and listen to it?

[His finger trails a circle over Wataru's chest, over his heart. Their shared mark... He wonders what the nurses must have thought seeing Wataru's.]

I already admire you. Your talents, your strengths, your heart. However... I have difficulty understanding you, and I believe I've thought of just what it must be. Those feelings you talk about, enchantment, and hopes and dreams...

I'd like to believe in them blindly, but I've been ruined to that sort of mindset. Everything is a goal with set tasks. Things like magic and love, which you seem to excel in, are things that I can't comprehend, and it baffles me.

I'd like you to try to grant me that understanding. To win me over, if you will. All the while, though I'll allow you to do whatever you'd like, I'll hold on tightly to your hand and forbid you from floating away. Fufu... how does that sound?

[He's not sure, now. Not with Eichi touching him so gently. He'd like to just float away after all, as long as Eichi goes with him, to a place that's just for the two of them, a utopia where no one can interrupt this proposition he's just made.]

Eichi... I'll show you! I'll show you love, magic, hopes and dreams you can only guess at now! I'll make your world Amazing! If I couldn't would I be your own personal, dearly beloved Wataru Hibiki? I'd still just be everyone's, and that's not good enough anymore. No, I need to be yours. It's just more fun!

[Don't ask how, but he reaches behind Eichi's ear and pulls a rose from behind it. Magic.]

This little bloom of an idea, from you to me... Let's make it grow. A whole garden of roses, endless possibilities! [He offers the flower to Eichi.] I'll protect you from the thorns, and only let you see the beautiful things. Through it all, if you try your hardest to see the core of Amazing, you'll become just as light and free as I am!

[The rose is pulled out, and Eichi looks genuinely amazed. Eyes a little wide, pulling back to clap his hands like an excited schoolgirl before he accepts the rose, laughing softly.]

Wah, that's incredible... How did you get a rose, even in a place like this?

[The meaning behind this, too... He can't deny that his heart is beating fast. He's excited about putting this challenge out there. He wants to run at each other full force and feel what love really is.]

As part of my promise to you, I'll open my mind completely to it. Through this, I believe we'll also find the ultimate balance in our unit. [He brings the flower closer to his face, smelling it, smiling down at it.]

Say, Wataru... Since this meeting of ours began, I can't help but wonder if this might be some sort of elaborate dream. That I might be in a coma, all alone in my hospital room, and my mind is making this up as I drift towards an early death. It's a fear of mine, you know.

Tell me... this is reality, isn't it?

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