teaism | I couldn't utter my love when it counted

[How, he asks. Eichi loosens his hold on Wataru just slightly, enough to pull back just so he can grab his face, instead of wrap his arms around him, and touch their foreheads together.]

Lower your head to no one, Wataru. Not even me.

[Especially not him, maybe. That's what he wants. That's what would make him feel relief. That Wataru isn't just kneeling before him, that this imbalance isn't so heavy, so unfair. That Wataru is standing by his side, if anything.

And so, without waiting to see what he says, or checking to see if it's okay, he closes the distance once more, this time claiming Wataru's lips with his own. He doesn't know what he's doing, he's clumsy, this is new— but feeling guides him plenty fine, and there's no fumbling. Only warmth.]

[He hears Eichi's request, and he's about to raise his head higher and respond, but there are lips being pressed to his. He panics, uncertain, freezing up for a moment, not having anticipated that. But it's warm. Eichi's lips are warm and although they should feel foreign, stealing Wataru's first kiss, they feel comfortable and right. They feel like he's known them forever. He knows just how Eichi likes to be kissed, and he tips his head to the side even in Eichi's hold, just to get the contact and depth he knows Eichi craves. He doesn't know how he knows this.

Well, that's a lie. He suspects why. Maybe he was too desperate to believe in fate and a possibility of happiness, maybe he created this destiny and he's just overly imaginative. He doesn't care right now, as he reaches up to cover Eichi's hands with his own, then runs his hands down Eichi's arms before embracing him again. A lover's embrace.]

We've known each other before. I've lived for you. I've died for you, haven't I? Kill me again, Eichi.

[He mumbles against those soft lips, desperate for connection, desperate for affirmation. He'll tell him how he knows when they break apart, but for now... he finally lets his own tears fall as he begins to fumble the kiss.]

I won't.

[He breathes it against Wataru, a desperate, ragged sound that shakes his whole body as he pushes forward. It's a push that forces the both of them to step once, and his fingers drag down the sides of Wataru's face. Small fumbles in the kiss are taken as chances to gasp for breath, to drag his teeth gently across Wataru's lips in the softest of ways. Never breaking precious skin.]

I'll breathe life into you so thoroughly, Wataru, that we'll defy itself. I never want to picture your dying face again. Not your face, your back, the slow dying still of your fingers... I won't allow it. Do you hear me?

[He exhales, loud and shaky, presses another step forward. His gripping hands loosen, wiping Wataru's tears away with the utmost care.]

Even if death itself— even if death, and fate, and destiny... even if they wrap their claws around us and pierce our skin, I won't allow it, this time. Let's run past the boundaries put on us for this life and live. I won't accept any answer other than agreement to these demands of mine.

I'll live?

[The tears don't stop, even though he's smiling. He knows he's fated to lose his life for Eichi, lifetime after lifetime, some twisted, terrible fate he doesn't think he can escape. But he believes that Eichi--this Eichi, brutal and fragile and broken and bold--can heal the wounds time has caused. He believes Eichi. That he will be saved.]

I want to show you something.

[He pulls back, and pulls the soft collar of his shirt down until he exposes a mark on his chest.]

You've seen this before, haven't you? On yourself, on your own body. You know what it is, don't you? Eichi! I never thought I'd find you, but fate's cruel machinations brought us together. Perhaps, through love, I've already survived this time! Perhaps we'll know long lives together, and well never suffer again. Oh... I'd wish that for both of us.

[He releases his collar and grips Eichi's lapels.]

I accept! Your terms, your declaration, you! Let us live, burdened by purpose and our pasts, for a glorious future. Together.

That's—

[He's stunned, eyes wide just enough to stare at Wataru's mark, matching with his own, and the world seems to spin around him. Only Wataru's hands grabbing at his clothes again is enough to pull him out of it, and he laughs, freely, unable to help himself.

Tears are in the corner of his eyes, and he blinks them away, lifting a hand to gently wipe them gone.]

I'll cancel the remainder of the auditions and begin the paperwork to form our unit... You can work with me together on that, can't you? Between classes.

[What else does this mean, though? It's so powerful, his heart is pounding. Even as he glances to the side, he still sees Wataru's face so clearly in his mind.]

And we can live... together. As you say, as I say. Thank you, Wataru. It feels as though this life of mine has meaning.

[Eichi's laugh rings in Wataru's ears, and he reaches out to help wipe away those tears before Eichi lets them fall. He'll be with him. They'll be together. All the pain is over, done with, a thing of the past, and now they'll walk forward hand in hand. Eichi can rule this school almost as he pleases, and Wataru will stay by his side.

He's jubilant! His fingers don't leave Eichi's face as he holds his cheeks so, so gently.]

I will. I'll even go to class, just so we can meet between them! I'll live for the anticipation of every moment I spend with you, by your side. Eichi... everything I've been through feels like nothing compared to this. Your love... it was such a terrific thing to behold, even when I didn't know that's what it was. It was a power unlike any other. I'll help you direct it, and together, we'll give love and smiles and Amazing to everyone!

[His pulse races. He feels out of breath, like he's just run a marathon, and he wonders if he couldn't run a hundred more.]

Your life and my life have the same meaning, now. We'll do wonderful things, won't we?

[He kisses him again, swift and fleeting, but with utter sincerity.]

Fufufu, but what shall we call our unit?

Fufu... two lives with the same meaning. [Quietly, Eichi leans his face into the touch of Wataru's fingers, face flushing ever so slightly.]

That's something that we should think on for quite some time. After all, the public will be surprised to see the Emperor pairing off with one of the Eccentrics. The me of the past would be wondering if that was your intention all along... if perhaps you might be using me, you know?

But I'd rather believe in this warm feeling in my chest, and what I've seen in my dreams. This truly is... something amazing.

[Ahh... He feels as light as a cloud. It's so strange!]

Wataru... [It's fine to keep calling him that, right? Especially if they'll be in a unit together.] Could we meet again after school, then? In order to properly work out the details of this, let's spend some time together.

[That soft flush of Eichi's cheeks makes Wataru blush, too, and he looks at him with the gentlest expression.]

Even if everyone is surprised... Even if my friends desert me! It's worth it. It was worth it to find you, and all the struggles we face from here, we'll face together.

[He thinks about his friends leaving him, and it hurts, makes him ache to his very core, but to gain Eichi from this, he'll make that sacrifice. He bites back tears again, and looks Eichi straight in the eyes.]

After school is so far away, but yes! Today, tomorrow, every day! We'll put our heads together until we can find the perfect fit. Ah, I'd love nothing more!

There must be some way that they could forgive you. You're someone who defies reason, after all. Someone that, even while hated by the public, could sway and affect the students around you. No matter how you thought you were viewed... I believe there was always that power.

I'd hate the be the reason that your friends came to hate you, at least.

[His fingers brush daringly over to Wataru's hair, and then trail down it as he smiles and pulls back, a little coy.]

You've made me late for class, so let's meet again later to begin the paperwork. I'll wait for you by the shoe lockers.

[And just like that... things were completely different. No, Eichi thinks things were revealed for what they should have been all along. The school is shocked, and people on either side criticize both him and Wataru. But it's a movement just as important as his revolution, he thinks. Someone who was torn down can still be restored, someone godly can still work with someone who represents "the people," things like that are pushed, and Eichi is determined to make their unit one that emphasizes the importance of Hope and Dreams. A unit with direction and power... but one that can lift the people.

Almost immediately, Eichi's family seems to take issue with it. Eichi complains about it at their brief meetings, but usually brushes it off as a small problem. He says his parents are always so busy, but his father has said something about the rumors, and his mother has voiced concerns that more thugs like the ones that had kidnapped him before might become an issue. Blame is put on Wataru for things he never did, and Eichi has no patience for it.

Eventually, Eichi is full on dodging servants and ignoring phone calls to spend time with Wataru. And now, on the night they're meant to meet in secret and practice... It's been ten minutes with no sign of Eichi, who's normally the first one there. Any messages or calls to his phone go without answer. And then, a man steps into the lesson room, even if it's after hours and no one should even be thinking of entering the school. He's in a suit, but there's something about his eyes that say he's more than a pushover business man.]

"You're Hibiki-kun, aren't you?" [Polite, testing, slowly spoken as the man looks the teen over.]

[It's been like a dream, this miracle of hard work for both of them. They've defied the school, their peers, expectations, even Eichi's family to come together in the new unit. Wataru works tirelessly to win his friends over to Eichi's cause, and Eichi's toned down his tactics little by little, making the school ultimately harmonious rather than in a constant state of conflict. Others may criticize the methods, but they can't argue with the results. A liberal application of Love and Amazing to Eichi yielded such glorious results!

Wataru's parents, unlike Eichi's, are fully behind the venture. They also don't know he was the one who put Wataru through hell, of course, but they know that the blonde boy makes their son happier than he's been in years, and they give their blessing. Eichi's family, too business-minded and obsessed with reputation, don't want any of this for their son. He should be with some other rich family's young lady, ready for a short but productive adulthood. But no, they think he's dallying with Wataru, and they've had enough. Wataru's read the tiniest amount of concern from Eichi over it, but he's dismissed it alongside Eichi, because he believes in his fated love.

Today was to be their last rehearsal before their first secret guerrilla live, and Wataru's been waiting anxiously all day for their meeting time. Yet... no Eichi to be found, anywhere, and he can't be reached. Wataru's first thought is that his love must be in the hospital again, but when he calls the hospital to check, there's no record of Eichi. He's just about to pack up to go over and check on it in person when the man walks in.

He's not a teacher. Who is he? Wataru looks at him with skepticism, but tries a polite smile, phone clenched in one hand.]

Yes... that's me. Can I help you with something?

"I came here to deliver a message."

[Straightforward, not overly polite, but not overly rude either. It's some awkward place in between as the man stands with his hands in his pockets. If Wataru is observant enough, he might be able to tell that this man isn't alone— there's another man hiding back outside the door of the classroom, out of sight.]

"Eichi-sama's health took a dip again, so he wanted to make sure I came out to tell you that he won't be making it." [Already, there are holes in this flimsy story. It clearly wasn't made to be very convincing, and the man giving this message doesn't seem concerned about it, either.] "He's calling off the unit completely. Says it was a bad decision, and it's affecting his health. Sorry."

[His eyes land on Wataru like he's ready to measure his reaction.]

[Wataru, observant genius that he is, notes there's someone else out there, but doesn't react to it. This seems... dangerous? He feels like these men aren't here for any positive reason, anyway. And the words confirm it. Wataru doesn't react right away, simply blinking at the man, knowing it must be a lie. It's not even a very good one.]

Oh, I see. Thank you for letting me know. Is there any way I could hear this directly from Eichi himself? Perhaps if you tell me which hospital he's in currently I can at least go wish him well in person.

[His eyes subtly scan the man. Something's... not good. Very not good. He feigns ignorance.]

I've also borrowed one of his CD's I'd like to return. It's vintage, so he'd be dreadfully upset if I lost it.

"Sorry~. He's not accepting visitors."

[If anything, there's a slip of a drawl in that, like the guy's a little excited for something. The more he pushes this conversation, the more it seems like he gets closer to some sort of reward for himself. One of his hands withdraws from his pockets, half-extending to Wataru palm up.]

"If you've got it, you can pass it over to me. Otherwise, just go ahead and keep it. There's nothing in this world that kid can't just buy again for himself."

Not accepting visitors? Even though I'm the class representative, and it's my job as a student here to visit him?

[A lie. But Wataru has no issues with trading a lie for a lie. It's not like this meathead has any idea what Eichi's life is really like, even if he is some flunky. He's nothing in Wataru's eyes, just a nuisance and a roadblock.

And Wataru won't let himself be torn from Eichi so easily.

The man extends a hand, and Wataru looks down at it with a smile, then looks up, acting the very picture of an awkward, misunderstood youth.]

Oh, I don't have it with me! And it's very valuable, so it wouldn't be able to be replaced. Furthermore...

[He smiles darkly. Now he means business.]

Eichi isn't so wasteful that he'd buy something like that again. He's careful with money, even when he seems to spend frivolously. He wouldn't be the Student Council President if he didn't have such skills, honed and guided by Keito himself.

[Wataru smoothly slides his phone into his pocket.]

That said, what are you really here for?

[The first comment throws the man off, and he looks like he's going to scramble trying to find an answer— but Wataru continues, and the seriousness is only irritating. Finally, the man in the suit scoffs, reaching the had he'd offered forward up to loosen his own tie, instead.]

"You've got some nerve, speaking about that brat so intimately." [Calling him "Eichi," speaking as if he knows him so well.] "Especially when his folks have it out for you like this."

[Stepping forward, his chin lifts as he cracks his knuckles. No more hands in the pockets— it looks like what this guy was excited for all along was the idea of fighting. Not fighting, but beating up a teenager— feeling powerful in that way.]

"I tried to give you the easy way out. But it can't be helped. You had to go and 'strike first'."

[A blatant lie, but the meaning is clear in the instant he gives it out. His instructions had been to only fight if Wataru fought first, but it had, of course, been a coverup for the Tenshouin name only. They won't care what this lackey does, and he knows it, as long as their reputation isn't damaged. And so he reaches out, suddenly, grabbing for Wataru's hair with one hand and trying to punch him in the gut with the other.]

[Wataru's heart sinks. This man has been sent by Eichi's family, then. He's here to make Wataru back off. He's here to make Wataru miserable and lonely, and have Eichi face the same cruel fate. Wataru isn't having any of that nonsense.]

You have some nerve overstepping your bounds. He wouldn't let you get away with this if he was here.

[He backs up a few steps, looking every bit an innocent and fearful schoolboy. Like this man's threat terrifies him.]

You wouldn't--!

[But the man strikes first. He reaches for Wataru's hair, and he manages to grab it, but Wataru shifts so that he's just taking a handful of bun, and as if by magic, the bun falls apart in the grip, now too loose for a proper hold. The man only has the ends of his hair in hand now, and Wataru dances back to avoid the sucker punch, then drops down to a half-crouch before raising his hand, palm up, and driving the heel of his palm into the man's nose.

The man is large, though, and Wataru won't win this fight through even strength and cleverness. He'll have to flee. But there's the matter of the man outside, as well.]

You won't keep me from him!

[Startled, the first man is so caught off guard by Wataru's slippery movements that he is struck directly in the nose, as intended. Staggering back, he clutches at it, and his demeanor changes even worse.]

"You little shit—!"

[The man that had been waiting outside steps in now, clicking his tongue in clear irritation as he shuts the door behind him and locks.]

You deserve that, you idiot. Now you're making things messy for us.

"Shut the hell up!"

[Small moment of bickering aside, things are looking a lot worse. This practice room has Wataru trapped in, locked in, with no one else at the school to bother with them. The walls are practically sound proof in a lesson room like this, to make for easy practicing without interruption, anyway.

The first man lunges forward, now, forgoing grabbing for Wataru to just strike at him. He can't get away forever! The second man, who's even larger than the first (in muscle and height) steps forward too calmly, eyeing Wataru and searching for an opening. Unlike the angry first man, he's going to go about this a different way.]

I heard he threw a real tantrum. I only wish I could have seen it myself.

[Wataru hears the door lock, and his stomach drops. Maybe the window? No, this room doesn't have one. It's the smallest practice space, since there's only two of them... That door is his only way out, and this room is soundproof.

The first man lunges for him, and Wataru dances out of the way again.... But then there's the taunt. They must be holding Eichi against his will... or perhaps they're simply doing this when he's otherwise occupied. Wataru doesn't know, and his head is spinning, trying to think of a way out of this. He can't focus on them both at once.

He feels an impact to his side as he looks to the second man, and crumples to his knees.]

Eichi... deserves better than you heartless thugs!

[Whatever that kick was, it landed hard, and he's definitely going to bruise badly from it. Still, he tries to stagger to his feet, only to see the second man move closer. When he backs up, he finds the man he attacked is right behind him.]

[The man behind Wataru reaches his arm around him, a chokehold that he uses to pull the teenager back to him, his other hand grabbing for one of his arms. The second, larger man gives a wicked smile as he closes in from the front, and slips fat fingers into Wataru's hair at the top of his head.]

Too bad. We're going to tell him you took off with your tail between your legs.

[Taunting seemed fun enough. Leaving this brat with the idea that Eichi would receive such news, that he might believe Wataru had abandoned him— he hopes it sets deep with the wannabe magician. Either way, it's enough of a distraction before he yanks hard at his hair and drives his knee into Wataru's gut.

His next words are for the man behind Wataru.]

Knock him out. We can't finish this here.

[Wataru is grabbed, and he struggles, tries to put up a fight, but now the actual fear is setting in and his logical brain tries to think survival instead of winning. Neither looks like an option. Is this how he'll die for Eichi, this time? Without him even there to say goodbye? Without so much as a last look at him?

The notion terrifies Wataru, in large part because he swore to Eichi one day that he wouldn't get into trouble, that he wouldn't put himself in dangerous situations because that way maybe he'd avoid death more easily. This... he's a disappointment to Eichi... He's going to be taken away from him. He'll never get the future he so desperately tried to grab.

And the man's words make him gasp, though the next thing he registers is a hand in his hair. He glares up defiantly, about to make a remark, but his head is jerked down and the knee lands right where it's aimed. He'd meant to put up a better fight, but it was impossible.

Hacking, trying not to vomit up everything in his stomach, Wataru doubles over, still held up slightly by the grip of both men.]

Stop...

"No way in hell."

[Are they going to stop, the first man means and Wataru will feel a prick at his neck as he injects him with something. It's incredibly strong, so he'll be able to feel it right away. Dizziness, a drowsiness so heavy it's impossible to fight. The second man is already releasing Wataru's hair and stepping away confidently, and his muffled words will be the last thing Wataru hears before he wakes up.]

Just grab everything you can. We'll go through his things once we get there.

[Chances are, Wataru won't remember much about the next couple times he wakes up. Words are muffled, there are angry, aggressive men shouting things and demanding answers, but none of it really makes sense. He's slapped, shoved, punched, and he's bound with handcuffs to a wall, just in case those "tricks" of his can get himself out of rope. Finally, though, the drug will wear off. Wataru will be hungry, dehydrated, and sore all over his chest and stomach, and his face, just to name a few. He can probably tell from hunger alone that it's been at least a day. Maybe longer.

The room is underground, from how little light there is, and looks like it's part of some abandoned complex, though it's not clear what it was originally used for, or what it's used for now. There's blood on the floor, and it's unclear if it's just Wataru's, or also belonging to someone else.

Standing over his slumped form is the aggressive first man from earlier, who gives Wataru an extra slap to wake him up.]

"You ready to talk yet, or am I gonna have to hit you a few more times?"

[Everything is vague shapes and sensations, none of them pleasant, and all he can do to keep himself from losing hope is to think of Eichi, to know that somehow, somehow Eichi must be able to help. Or he'll die. He'll die thinking of his love, and it's not the worst way to go, knowing how beloved he was. Knowing those men were lying about Eichi not wanting to see him.

There's alternating darkness and faint light, and he's not sure what's going on other than the pain, the endless pain that keeps dulling and coming back. He feels sick, retches, his body tries to empty an already empty stomach, and the ache of hunger strikes him a few of the waking moments, just an idle thought. It's not important. Nothing is important.

There are voices, but he doesn't understand the words, until finally, he's upright, seated against a wall, head down, hair a mess--is it even still intact?--face a mess, body giving up little by little. But he thinks of Eichi, and he manages a small smile.]

Talk? I have... nothing to say. Eichi will come for me... I know he will... Then you'll be sorry...

"Is that all you know how to talk about? That shitty brat you love so much is probably—"

You're wasting time here.

[The second voice interrupts before he can strike Wataru again, and the man pulls back, turning startled to stare at the door. There's a figure, tall and slim, a black hood draping partially over his eyes. But Wataru will probably recognize him immediately. It's Eichi.

Eichi in vague disguise, dressed almost like a vigilante in the shadiest combination of clothes that he most certainly ripped off a couple of other men in whatever this group was. And here he is, practicing his acting as a gloved hand jerks a thumb back over his shoulder in the most uncharacteristically harsh motion.]

Something's happening out front. They're calling you for backup. I'll hide things in here.

"What? Who are—"

[Eichi was banking on this man who criticized so much not being able to recognize him. Thank goodness.]

I said go! They'll explain when you get there!

[Panicked by Eichi's authoritative words, the man takes off, and Eichi moves fluidly into the room, but clicks the lock behind him and quickly pulls his hood down. He looks... not great, actually. Paler than even before, and now that the hood's down, there's a visible slice of a blade right across his cheek. Additional marks and bruising, though tame compared to anything even close to Wataru's, are hidden by his layers, including the gloved hand that pulls out a key as he rushes over to his unitmate's side.]

How was that, Wataru? Was my acting decent? I'm nothing compared to you, but... [He coughs, once or twice, as he shoves the key in and twists hard, releasing the handcuffs and dropping both them and the key to the floor. His gloved hands clutch at one of Wataru's hands, terrified eyes staring at the damage that the metal has done to his wrists. And then his eyes travel up, staring at his face.

The face of an idol should never look anything like this. He feels sick, worried not just for Wataru's future, but Wataru's life right now.]

I hope you'll forgive me... for taking so long. Can you move, like that?

[It's a noisy blur, all the man's words, the way he strikes Wataru across the face. The idol makes a small whimpering sound as the pain jolts through him, then the man's actions are interrupted.

Wataru can barely make it out, but the way his chest begins a different kind of ache makes him certain... this must be Eichi coming to save him. He acts unconscious until he hears the door lock, grateful the exchange is quick. Then he raises his head.

Eichi. Pale, injured, worried... Wataru tries to reach for him, forgetting his hands are bound, and cries out when he can't. The tears start immediately.]

You're usually such a bad liar, Eichi... I'm proud... I'm so...

[His voice gives out as the handcuffs fall away, and the hand not being held by Eichi goes up to the blonde's cheek. It's strange, he thinks. He can't stop shaking. He can hardly see. But he knows he's saved. And they'll be fine, somehow.

He slumps forward, consciousness tenuous, trying his best to stay awake and with Eichi. He has to fight, so he summons all his strength to stop the tears and to raise his head, chin up, proud. Struggling, he tries to get to his feet, but ends up stumbling forward to his knees.]

I knew you'd come for me...

...

[It's terrible, to see him in this condition. Eichi's heart plummets so much further than he thought possible, and he moves to cup Wataru's face, breathing in shakily. His own health isn't doing great, and the strain he's putting on it through all of this isn't helping. He'd broken out of his own mansion, past guards, scaled down the side of it and then had to dodge them multiple times on the path to finding out where Wataru was. This building itself was even worse.]

I wouldn't leave you. Just like Orihime and Hikoboshi, I'll cross the stars no matter what it takes, just to see you... Now that we've connected, and I can understand your heart, I refuse to let it go.

[He drops his hands away only slightly, holding onto Wataru, trying to tug him up.]

But listen quickly, Wataru. The distraction I gave to that man just now will only last for a short time. The commotion I mentioned is real, but it's caused by me. My family handed you off to whoever this group is without a care about their cause or reasoning, so I'm not quite sure what it is that they want, but...

It's something dangerous. You're in no condition to run, so let's find someplace to hide you. Stand, here, you can lean on me...

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that tag killed me for nearly 24 hours

sowwy ;;

it was good death

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