teaism | 90s sadness and gay???

[Leon is innocent (stupid) and pure (dumb) so when the suggestion of help comes up, he completely forgets the lack of apology and all other incidents to ease up a tiny bit. He waves the paper between them.]

You'd help? What, with Chinese flash cards or something?

[Oh, he already doesn't want to help...]

And what would that do for you? At least get the language correct, at this point.

[He was trying to make some dumb joke about Chinese methods for learning Italian, but he realizes his mistake now...]

Yeah, yeah. Alright, I could use some help, so hit me with it.

[Maybe he really has flashcards, or just makes some out of regular paper really quick?? This is probably a safe assumption because D is weird and Leon is too dumb to learn a language without colorful pictures. They're not colorful pictures.

In any case, it goes moderately terribly, and eventually D just tosses his shitty torn paper flash cards onto the table between them and stands up. This is.... hopeless...]

Have you learned a single word yet?

Uhh, let's see... There's rosa, viola, bianco...?

[Random colors, in no particular order, and entirely because they are or sound like the names of some women. Probably not even women he knew personally. He gives up after that, grunting in his frustration and running a hand through his hair.]

I don't know about this, D. I've never been any good with languages. [He'll ADMIT IT, okay...]

[Those are just colors... D sighs, mostly pityingly, and moves around behind Leon again. Can he get away with this...??]

Perhaps. Even so... [This, as he settles his hands on his shoulders again with a lighter squeeze. Don't say a word and let him do this.] You are tired, are you not? You've had a very trying time, these past few days.

[Leon is so frustrated with himself... Why is it so hard when apparently everyone else can learn these things no problem? That's the way he's thinking when D counters and he feels the lighter squeezes to his shoulders. This time he doesn't jump out of his seat. Actually, he doesn't even comment... He's just incredibly tense.]

Well, yeah, but that doesn't excuse any of the other times I've tried to learn a language. It hasn't been that trying, anyway... [He mumbles at the end of that latter sentence, and his shoulders ease up the tiniest bit.]

It's going to be like this every time I try.

[D hums, letting Leon settle somewhat before he moves his fingers again, working into a particularly tense spot. He's still listening to Leon's woes about... being dumb, more or less, but most of his focus is on what he's doing with his hands. For whatever reason, he's being allowed to do this...]

The older you become, the more difficult it is to learn a new language. Isn't that how it goes? [He wouldn't know, considering.]

When have you tried to learn a new language before?

[Belatedly, it registers that D isn't just resting his hands there still. It's still not enough to have him yanking himself away or anything even close, but he does pause in his speaking to consider it. He's slowly easing up, despite himself, and it's not like it feels bad... It feels pretty damn good after everything he's been through, actually. He shouldn't complain.]

There's always back in high school... Spanish was horrible. Isn't that pretty close to Italian, too? [His eyes are drifting closed for now, so he kind of just lets that happen.] There were a few cases where it would have come in handy, too...

[So he spent all night studying intensely to try and help the case, and got nowhere. Probably.]

Somewhat close. They are both Romance languages, although there are still dialects and other slight variations to consider...

[It's times like these D is reminded that Leon is not just a loud, dumb oaf bumbling his way through life. That's the least flattering way to reflect on how it's nice, being reminded he's not a detective for no reason at all, but it is what it is... He'd almost like to ask about one of those cases, but it would probably only add to the stress of being terrible at languages.

And he's sort of, maybe trying to combat that. With a casual massage.]

Perhaps a different language is more suited to you. But not Chinese.

I know better than to even try Chinese.

[He has this much self awareness... He's actually very aware of flaws like these. A little too aware. It's probably best that D doesn't ask, as he's beating himself up over the smaller self-confidence issues like these right now enough as it is.]

If there's a language out there suited to me other than English, I haven't found it. [That and the language of BAD GUYS!! But he's not going to say something dumb like that, this time. He's busy blinking his eyes back open and thinking about D's hands on him. Hmm.]

You don't have to try and cheer me up. [Just, you know... be prepared for him to take years even with honest effort.]

[D can call him whatever he wants in Chinese and get away with it, great. Or rather, he's honestly trying to think of a language that might not be so troublesome to Leon... at least this version of his trying to help isn't as crazy as nightmare butterflies.

He almost suggests German, but he wouldn't be able to resist a poorly-timed crack about following him to Germany, and some of the letters are different. Leon would surely panic.]

If we are going to... be here together, then it would benefit us both to be in at least somewhat better moods. [Not that he's going to share how tense he is still, busy as he is pressing the heel of his hand against a knot in Leon's back. He might be straying from the shoulders a little, here.]

It could be that being immersed in the language will help. You never know.

[Leon may be trying to help here, but he's still dense in a lot of ways. Because D hasn't mentioned any nervousness and has only encouraged relaxing since the picnic, Leon only assumes he's handling this better than him. He'll learn, slowly... maybe.

For now, he notices that straying... Is he getting a full massage here?? He blinks a few times as the pain of that knot eases into feeling better. Hmmm.]

Yeah, that's what they say... Here's hoping. [He doesn't want to be stuck and useless for too long. There's a small pause, and it's a little too hard to stay completely silent about the whole massage thing.] You're pretty good at that. [shhh]

[This might be a full massage, even if the angle is a little off because of the couch in the way. That's fine. He's good at it, apparently—]

Thank you. [That's all he'll say about that comment, mercifully. He could cut this short and consider Leon relaxed enough, but honestly he would rather keep putting his hands all over him, so that's what he's going to do. At least he's doing something somewhat productive, moving right along to a different tense spot.]

You've been pushing yourself too hard. [He means that as an idle observation, but it turns out it's sort of his fault Leon has gotten to this point, so... hmm. His touches pause for a moment, then continue.] It's quite a mess.

[He tries to sit to make it easier on D, and he's kind of wondering if he should stop him, but it's not like he asked him to do this, so he can't mind too much, right? Besides, it feels good. He has to keep telling himself this every few seconds so it doesn't get weird.]

I don't know about that. [Pushing himself too hard?? Gosh, he never does that. Following someone across the world and sleeping on streets is totally normal and not over the top at all.]

I'm always a little tense. [A little, he says.] Shouldn't you be the one who's tired? I wouldn't be able to do it. Running away like that...

[Thinking no one was on his side but two people... Dealing with his dead father... That's a lot to deal with, too. He's thinking about it now that he's deflected worries about himself.]

[A little... what a liar. D hums again, trying not to let his surprise at that question seem obvious. If he tenses up while literally touching Leon to relieve his tension, how embarrassing would that be?? He can't have that.]

I... [Hmm. He could say any number of things here about how he's perfectly fine, but it isn't and hasn't been, and he suddenly isn't sure he's fooling anyone anymore. Especially Leon. So...] I am very tired.

However, I have been tired for quite some time. [He punctuates this with a little squeeze not meant to be part of his massage, like that will make lighter the reality of what he's saying. The family business is a real drag.] So it is not entirely thanks to you.

[This still seems so surreal. They hadn't been arguing all that much at home, before this all happened, but it still felt strange to be this serious. Especially when it was something so sad. The fact that others could see it better than he could, when he was there by his side all along...

He stares down at his hands in his lap, fingers curling a bit over his knees.]

So I'm only part of the problem. Gee, thanks. [He's light about saying that, too, though. He can be tiring, he guesses... It's completely fair if D is tired.]

But I can't give massages or anything like that, sorry. [He can't even return the favor... It's getting to him a little.]

[All of this opening up is well outside D's comfort zone. He can blame Leon up and down, but even just now - he says this isn't entirely Leon's fault and thinks that might make him look a little less down, but Leon calls him out on the opposite point. D has no idea what he's doing, in the end. How is he meant to do this with manners, without putting up walls again?

The same issue he's already struggled with returns - Leon isn't simply part of the problem, but... it's a bit much to say he's something of a solution, too. That's really...]

I've only asked you to stay. [soooo...] And you have. Your presence is...

[something gay tbh, he can't go on.]

[Asked him to stay. Hm, well... yes. Leon blinks at that, reaching back to touch D's wrists lightly, so he'll stop. He leans back completely and tilts his head back so he can stare up at D.]

My presence is what?

[Go on, finish it, he's watching.]

[Oh— well now he's tensed up. Just a touch to the wrist makes him feel like he's trapped here until he gives a real answer. How terrible!!]

That is, you see... [He looks... studiously off to the side, since Leon is staring at him like that.

There is a considerable pause. May the earth open up beneath his feet and swallow him whole, to deliver him from his preteen-level embarrassment.] ...comforting?

[Remember when that was the whole problem before??]

Whoa, are you actually embarrassed saying something like that?

[He can't help it... He's never noticed the Count avoiding his gaze so much, and now he'd struggled to say even that? Leon laughs, pretty pleased by this. He even wraps his fingers a little more around D's wrists, as loose as the grip actually is.]

So that just means I have to bug you all the time! Guess you're really not getting rid of me, huh!

[sTOP good god, he can't take this. This vice grip keeping him here against his will!! It clearly isn't his own choice that he's standing here frowning off to the side and not trying to pull his hands away at all.]

Your habits haven't been excused yet! [The BOTHERING... don't bother him on purpose!!] I am not—embarrassed. Don't flatter yourself.

Are you sure about that? You can't even look at me!

[He's teasing, he has the nerve to tease after the Hand Holding Incident. Thankfully, he stops staring at D after that, sitting back up and releasing his wrists to point at his shoulders instead.]

Anyway, since you're comforted and all, that means you can keep going.

[He likes it, thx]

[He can look at Leon!! He's look at Leon right now, frowning more pointedly to prove it. But Leon has already stopped looking at him, making this all useless...

It takes him a moment to slide his hands back into place and keep massaging, but he's doing it! And it takes only another moment after that for him to lean down to speak in a low voice next to his ear.]

Your hands are still clammy from earlier. Was it such a shock to you?

[This is the best course of action to take, he can feel it.]

[Well that sure makes him tense up again immediately. Immediately, he presses his palms flat on his pants to try and wipe away any clammy-ness...]

What?! They're not clammy! You're imagining things!

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