teaism | pls don't judge me I have so many injured guren icons okay

pls don't judge me I have so many injured guren icons okay

[Compared to this, the talking furniture from ages ago seemed almost pleasant. The door clicks shut behind them, and Guren almost wants to drop down right here. It's the first building they've come across in a while now— some sort of cabin in the woods that's falling apart just like the rest of the town they'd started in. Guren was bleeding from a variety of areas— a number of spots on his torso, his head, his face, his thigh— and that doesn't even start on the broken bones he's sporting, but he had a demon to take care of those injuries.

The man he was trying to support next to him was a different story. Hadn't they said something about not wanting to test if he could die and come back...?]

Look at me, Dex. [Guren wasn't trying to hide his worry now. He'd arrived too late, or at least that's his perspective. He shows up and something is nearly finished toying with Dextera like he's some sort of doll— something grey, with wings. Guren couldn't grasp what was happening, but interrupting had shown him that he was nearly outmatched. Nearly. With some biting words, he'd slain the creature(?) just before he was about to be offed himself. It was risky, to say the least.

But they're indoors now. Indoors, and there have to be supplies they can make use of somewhere. He staggers his next step forward as he tries to lead Dextera in, coughing blood against the back of his own hand. He's noticing that even his own injuries are staying longer than usual, somehow...]

Damn it...

[But he needs to know how Dextera is doing. How much can he handle? Guren doesn't want to find out his limit right now. One hand grips at Dextera's shoulder. They've been supporting each other the whole walk here, and he's trying not to weigh him down. His other hand, though the back of it is bloody now, rests against Dextera's chest carefully.] Sit down here.

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So it is still some kind of risk.

[Hm, that worries him, but he also knows that sometimes risks have to be taken. If he's there, doing what he can, formulating a plan, can he protect Dextera, too? He's thinking about that in great depth, but the attention to his back is still nice and relaxing. He doesn't hurt at all anymore, there, so it's just nice.]

What do you mean, you can't use it much when you're alone? Does something happen, or is it just that you get exhausted?

I just get exhausted. When I can't take breaks, that means death.

[ there's no standing around and waiting in the neuro tower. even if he clears the floor of meta-beings, more could always be lurking around the corner. the only places that are safe are alice and eliza's chambers, and those are... emotionally exhausting.

even thinking about it now, he lowers his head, pressing it against the back of guren's shoulder. ]

[Guren is still for a moment, but eventually he turns, trying to look back at Dextera without stirring him too much.]

So I just have to make sure you don't push yourself too hard. [His hand reaches back with a short laugh, finding Dextera's leg to rest against in comfort.] And you can do the same for me. It's balanced like that.

Even if I don't really need it. [He smiles with his little joke. Isn't he so funny, haha.]

[ ha... ha...

dextera does worry about him, even if guren seems completely confident in his ability to manage himself. he usually is, too, but if dextera hadn't been able to purify him of whatever the monster did, then it could have been... bad. still, now that they've reached the next day and they're both healing, it doesn't seem so bad. ]

I don't know if I can heal you again, so you should look out for yourself.

[ for now, as close as they are... dextera presses his mouth to guren's skin in a kiss that's not exactly a kiss, but is sweet and affectionate enough to pass for one. guren can probably feel how warm his face is. ]

[It's enough to give him a quiet shiver, and he relaxes into it, immediately longing for more contact. He doesn't want to lean back into him too far or too heavy, but he does want it noticeable, this time, keeping his face angled back at him.]

Yeah. That means you have to do the same. Don't worry; we'll keep each other in check.

[It sounds... nice, doesn't it? Checking on each other, helping each other like that. This is the first person where it seems possible. There's no house name getting in the way, no family that Dextera needs to support who would only be damaged by Guren's presence. It makes it seem possible, somehow, that they can spend this time together, uninterrupted. (Mostly.)]

You're warm. [He says it out of nowhere after he's let silence sink in, in a comfortable daze himself.]

[ dextera finally sets the washcloth aside, so he can fully, comfortably lean into guren as guren leans back. their respective pressures, however slight, make for an even push between them to keep them both balanced. ]

Is it too much?

[ even as he asks this, however, he wraps his arms around guren's middle, his breath light across guren's skin. ]

You're warm, too.

[It's almost unfair to hear that question. Arms coming around him and breath on his bare skin, Guren was already warm but he's only feeling warmer. They have a plan now. A way out and back to some semblance of peace, even if this place is too far from either of their homes. It's something they can aim for, and the time between then and now is open to fill, almost.

He's scolding himself a little for letting his mind wander in this direction. For wanting something as simple as contact, attention, affection, touch— but he's always given in to desires. What's the point of living if he can't enjoy these things?]

...It's not enough. [So, he decides on a bold answer, pulling his hand back just to trace over Dextera's arm.]

[ it is a bold answer, but not one that dextera plans to fight. they've been dancing around this very thing, and it's only just now that dextera is in any shape to move on his own. he still can't do much, but he's better. guren has his attention. ]

...what else do you want?

[ the question is surprisingly kind, unladen with innuendo or demands. he won't give more than what guren asks for, nor will he give more than he's got. they have time, and anything else can be worked out between now and whenever they're ready to move. ]

[That's so open ended it hurts. It's the way Dextera holds himself, and everything that he's heard about him that has Guren's heart automatically sinking at those words. Now Guren is too aware of how his words sounded demanding, how his desire was too selfish, how Dextera was still in pain... Hopefully not as much, but still pain.

He curls his hand over one of Dextera's.]

...Do I have to say it aloud? [His laugh is a quiet breath, again, and he closes his eyes for a moment to focus.]

Besides... [He squeezes lightly at his arm. He wants this, but more of it. He wants Dextera and the warmth from him, he wants to cuddle back in this bed and pretend there's nothing to worry about. He wants a kiss and so much more. He wants to be healthy with him, and live with him. He wants a solution to every little problem Dextera has.] I want to know what you want.

[ when guren squeezes his arm, dextera responds in kind by tightening his hold around guren's middle. more of this would good—this, and beyond this, and dextera first answers him with another kiss on the smooth expanse of skin closest under his lips. this one is purposeful. ]

I want you.

[ as if making up for the vast possibility of his question, this is a statement with conviction, no matter how quiet it is. dextera isn't afraid of his own desire, not more than a normal person would be, even if he pulls back in odd places and occasionally lets himself be consumed by his guilt.

right here, however... he's confident in this. confident enough, too, that guren feels the same. ]

[That's better. It feels better if he wants Dextera, too, when Dextera is the one to say it. Even if it's still something he'll never understand, having interest in him— he doesn't care.

He pulls out of that hold only so he can turn completely around, cupping Dextera's face and immediately leaning in for a hard kiss. He's crooked on this bed, and it's not the most comfortable position right now, but he just needed this expressed.

He hopes it says I want you, too so that he won't have to out loud.]

[ it says it perfectly well, though dextera is aware enough of how uncomfortable guren must be not to let this kiss go on for too long. he kisses back enough to make his reciprocation known, and then he's pulling away, giving guren the room to right himself on the bed.

it also gives guren a good view of his face—eyes lidded, his expression a little tired, but mostly very interested. ]

...we're going to be stuck here for a while if we don't rest.

[ Ah— Dextera is right, but Guren is still moving everything out of the way and climbing properly into the bed. Again, he’s back at this. Like some sort of lusty honeymoon phase? All he can do is grin at those words, that look, and rest his knees on either side of Dextera’s hips as he leans over him. ]

Right now, I kind of want to be stuck.

[ If it means more of this, no noisy interruptions from housemates or lord knows what else. It’s fine... he’ll straddle an injured Dextera on a bed without putting any of his weight on him and take his face with both hands, now, for another kiss. That’s it, he’s gone, he’s done resisting this... ]

[ you horndog..........

it's not like dextera has any complaints, anyway. guren makes a compelling case with this kiss, with this closeness, and dextera knows he should appreciate this bed now while they still have it. with the way things are, they'll probably never find this cabin again once they leave it for good, meaning the bed and these quiet comforts will be lost to the forest. ]

Mm—

[ his hands are on guren's waist, a small effort to touch when he's still incapable of twisting around or going too far. ]

[It's entirely about grabbing onto this while he can. He'd regret too much if he didn't. Even if they just fool around and kiss until it hurts Dex too much to keep going, wouldn't that be fun? Isn't it worth it? Guren thinks so. His heart is beating so hard... like he's an excitable kid.

There's so much he has to do, and he still intends to do it, but it's important to allow something like this to get in the way. Specifically while his heart is so close to turning black.

His lips part from Dextera's with a heavy exhale, and his hands are on him, at his chest, trying to stay gentle. They end up trailing too-light touches down his skin, careful over injuries. Guren's mouth moves too, to Dextera's jaw, and then to his neck as he lowers himself a little more. Distantly, he wonders if Dextera has ever been really spoiled.

He's the grossest kind of horndog... he's sappy...]

[ dextera most certainly has not been spoiled. his life has been a long series of tragedies, interspersed with periods of despair, and so when would he ever have had time to do something like this? there's the feeling that he was close to someone before, once, but even that is only a distant recollection.

this is real and current and tangible, and dextera gasps softly, momentarily forgetting that he has a voice with which to express himself. ]

Ah—

[ his neck is sensitive, all of him is sensitive; guren's light touches feel heavy with how aware dextera suddenly feels. he's tilting his head, allowing guren access to his neck as he himself strokes guren's skin, then down, along his thighs. ]

[It's a good thing Dextera is reacting so well to these kisses, or Guren would feel a little too much like a vampire, kissing at his neck like this. It's easy, and he doesn't want to dip so low that he loses the touches down his thighs. ...At the same time, there's that whole denial thing, and he'd love to see how Dextera reacts to every lower kiss.

He breathes heavy against his collarbone now, his own hands finally resting at Dextera's hips. He's aware of the scar, but doesn't purposefully touch it with any affection for fear of it being a bad memory.]

Dex. [His voice is quiet, but it's loud enough to be heard.] Why don't you keep telling me what you want?

[He's still stuck on just moments earlier, asking him what else he wanted like he was ready to do it no matter what. What he wants is to see Dextera's desires, and grant them as much as he can. Even if he's not a hot blonde babe.]

[ it’s for the best, not to have his scar treated with anything special—in this moment, it might just be an insecurity, a worry that guren isn’t interested, but it’s easy to overcome that brief fear when guren so gently urges him to talk about his desires.

he’s never been asked. ]

I told you already. I... I want you.

[ a cop-out answer! but he means it, without anything else to say—all he’s ever wanted is to be close to someone. guren is providing that and more already.

this does, however, leave guren room to experiment. ]

[He breathes out a laugh, face heating a bit, but he feels a little safer with it below Dextera's chin.]

That doesn't give me direction at all. [But, he guesses it does make sense. Dextera isn't bossy like Mahiru. Or... obsessed to the point of sanity being questionable, thankfully. So he's on his own? But he doesn't know where to start, either. Everything and anything sounds nice, but he wants it to be the best...!!

Ah, well. His lips brush over Dextera's collar bone once more, and then lower still, down to his chest. He has to scoot back a little for this, a little more out of reach, but his hands move higher, back up Dextera's sides.]

I guess I'll have to figure it out myself. [He mumbles that over skin.]

[ dextera breathes out slowly, missing already guren’s warmth beneath his fingers, but guren’s light kisses are a nice exchange. he wants to figure it out himself? dextera doesn’t mind that, but he wants to offer guren a starting place as well.

except, he’s a little emotional about it, unused to phrasing physical desires. ]

I want to be connected to you.

[ at least at this distance, he can push his fingers into guren’s hair—something, a small impulse, he’s always wanted to do. ]

I don’t care how.

[Just hearing that sends a shudder through him that he tries to hold back. Connected. He doesn't care how, but connected. His mind is racing already, of all of the ways he could arrange that. His hands slide back down his sides again, toying with Dextera's pants, undoing them as his lips press softly at his chest.]

I can do that.

[He says it quietly over his skin, fingers hooking under the waistband of Dextera's pants to slide them off slowly. A slow build up should be fine, even if he's already breathing heavy, wanting more. He wants to take his time, to spoil as much as he can. The hand in his hair is nice, and he kisses more, mouth trailing across every inch of skin that he can find.]

[ it’s strange to be exposed like this, with guren kissing along his skin, his pants being peeled down his hips. he’s not hard, not yet, but he’s hot in the core of his stomach. ]

Guren...

[ he tightens his fingers in guren’s hair, pulling a little—trying not to be demanding, but maybe doing it anyway. he wants what he wants, and if they had more time, more experience, maybe he could express it well. ]

Let me—let me kiss you.

[The little motions are cute. The light pull at his hair and that stuttered demand— this is the type of want that he aimed to create. He wants to be desired like this, of course. Who wouldn't? And by someone they want to hold close.

Satisfied with how out of the way Dextera's pants are now, he gives in to that request with a hum. One hand rests lightly at Dextera's shoulder, careful but still seeking support, and he leans in, brushing their lips together even before it's really a kiss.]

Kiss me.

[And then it is, and his free hand smooths along the skin of Dextera's thigh. How much time could they waste like this? When they're resting here, it doesn't even matter. This whole thing is a blessing for that reason alone. (Well, that and this makeshift bed.)]

[ guren is so sure of himself that dextera would be jealous if he weren't on the receiving end of this confidence, benefiting from every little move. he wants to be able to reciprocate, though, a desire that runs so deep he almost doesn't even know how to move.

but kissing is a good start. the careful weight of guren's hand at his shoulder, too—kind and cautious. dextera kisses back, hesitant at first, but then with an increasing certainty that this is what he wants.

he appreciates every second as it is, but there's something even more precious about it when their lips are touching, when he's breathing in guren's air and stroking a hand down his chest. he can be silent, but he's surprisingly vocal with the whimper that leaves his mouth at guren's hand across his thigh. ]

[Guren's surprising even himself with how into this he is. Dextera has always been someone that he admired; he got along with him instantly, and there was something about the way he thought, the way it translated into his actions and those words he'd write in his palm, that just latched onto his heart and wouldn't let go. Now, feeling his body beneath him, running fingers to the inner part of his thigh, Dextera still isn't close enough. He feels that too, that desire, and his hand reaches to the side for the aloe vera gel he'd extracted with the rest of the plants, bringing it closer.

He really likes the sound of that whimper.

It might be bad to desire this so much. It's overwhelming, the rush, and he kisses harder now that it seems he's not hurting him. Even that simple hand on his chest is distracting, and it's becoming more difficult to breathe with how into it he's getting, but he doesn't care about that. He just wants to be closer. Close enough that Dextera can really feel what's in his heart.]

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aloe vera because I SAY SO I can't be stopped