90s sadness and gay???
[By this point, Leon has lost track of how long he's been searching for Count D. It became an obsession that only grew with time, and now he couldn't keep to one spot anymore. Not while D was still out there. Across cities, across countries, he probably looked insane to everyone around him. But they didn't know the half of it! Sometimes even Leon wasn't sure he understood what he was doing.
Right now wasn't the time to doubt himself, though. He'd hoped that this lead would get him even an inch closer to his goal, but he hadn't counted on spotting him in the streets. It had to be him. He'd seen him turn and look at him, and those eyes—]
Wait! Stop right there!
[He doesn't hold back, shoving his way through the crowded streets and keeping his eyes locked on him. It doesn't work, because of course it doesn't, and his steps slow in his confusion. His heart is beating way too fast, his stomach sinks, and for a moment he's sure he's lost his one chance.
But something catches the corner of his eye, and his instinct tells him to turn. He reaches out, grabbing the first wrist he can and meeting D's eyes with his own.]
...Found you.
Right now wasn't the time to doubt himself, though. He'd hoped that this lead would get him even an inch closer to his goal, but he hadn't counted on spotting him in the streets. It had to be him. He'd seen him turn and look at him, and those eyes—]
Wait! Stop right there!
[He doesn't hold back, shoving his way through the crowded streets and keeping his eyes locked on him. It doesn't work, because of course it doesn't, and his steps slow in his confusion. His heart is beating way too fast, his stomach sinks, and for a moment he's sure he's lost his one chance.
But something catches the corner of his eye, and his instinct tells him to turn. He reaches out, grabbing the first wrist he can and meeting D's eyes with his own.]
...Found you.
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Nightmares? [That was like... one time. Way too much credit being given there.] You are here now, so you may as well stop complaining about past mistakes.
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[Grumble grumble... He's just going to try to get his toast out of the toaster now. It takes a few tries per piece, making them jump out and trying to catch them, maybe sticking a fork in once... He lives.]
So what park are we going to? [He's serious about this!]
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There is one not far from here, with a quaint little gazebo, and... ducks, in a pond... What are you doing to my toaster? [stop??]
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[Look, it's fine, he pulled the toast out! He can drop the toast and fork and shake his hand off so the burning goes away.]
I don't know about ducks but the rest sounds fine. [Won't they just bug them and steal their food and D will talk to them and who knows what else?? Will they find a DUCK QUEEN, he has to be prepared.]
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[A duck queen, jesus, do not speak in public. D's through with the fruit cutting, so he once again produces a tray to put the little bowls on and wait for Leon's crappy toast. He's going to make tea, too, after one last judging look at the toast mess.]
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[He's piling up the toast on this little plate that can go on the tray. They can share from this... mess. It's fine!]
Why don't we just sit and talk about something normal for once, instead?
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You do know what they say about assuming, Detective. Please, what "normal" things shall we talk about?
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[He'll think all the way to where they're going to sit down, flopping back unceremoniously as soon as his messed up couch is in range. Man, does D even care about anything normal? Even when Leon tries to think about what he normally talks about, it all slowly comes back to...
He stares over at D.] I don't know.
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How illuminating. You have time to think about it.
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All of the things he can think that are new in his life are horrible. Chris is gone, he's without his old job, he hasn't been able to do anything enjoyable... His life's a mess and he knows it. He doesn't even know if this is going to make it any better. Or what he really wants to do. He'd been so sure he just wants to slap the cuffs on D himself, but... it's not that he doesn't understand, either.
But is it really fine if he only sits here and nags about it? Urghhhh...]
Yeah, yeah... As long as I get food, it'll be nice just to sit and enjoy the weather, anyway. [He stares at the plate of food as he eats.]
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One of these will have to win out in the end... He doesn't want to think about it!!]
Demanding lunch when you've yet to finish breakfast? One step at a time, please.
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[He sighs, staring at his toast as he holds it.] It's not like I can just mention a case I'm working on, or anything that's happened lately. I've just...
[Been running around after him?? Gave up everything for this?? He bites his toast again.]
It would all lead back to the same thing.
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Then for that, I am sorry.
[Sort of. He's not sure what he's guilty or not about at this point.]
Do you resent me?
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I don't know. [An unhelpful answer, but he's at a loss.] Maybe not. It's not like you made me do any of this.
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But I did leave you behind.
[Does he want Leon to resent him? Not really, but he's better at arguing than talking things out normally, so... well.]
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[Sighing, he places his half eaten toast back on the plate, slouching a bit in his seat. He'll just focus on his lap for the time being.]
You almost said something, didn't you? I kept thinking about that. I thought that maybe if I had acted different, or stopped for just a god damn second, maybe... [Rgghghgh... He doesn't even know if this is right, and he's not sure if he'd rather D agree with him or laugh in his face.] I don't know, maybe things would have gone differently.
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I was quite sure you did. Resent me.
[He'll get to Leon blaming himself or whatever he's doing in a minute, when he's had a moment to process being a super wrong asshole. Oops...]
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[What the hell, that doesn't make sense! He frowns, eyebrows furrowing as he pinches at the arm of the couch.] If anything, I assumed you were the one who resented me. [Considering the father murder, you know.]
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[Like, just so that's clear: he did consider it. He keeps tugging at the corners of the folded blanket like that's going to make it neater, or something, until he finally forces himself to move away from it and take a seat on the couch. Why would Leon resent him...? Besides shoving him off a boat and leaving him behind with zero explanation about anything?]
I had thought that... you would not forgive me for allowing Chris to leave.
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[Their food is just sitting there, not being eaten... Except that half eaten toast.] I mean, I didn't think it would happen so soon, but it's not like I could stop them. [So why would he expect D to? It was... for the better.]
I think hanging around with you was actually good for the kid.
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You've picked a terribly inconvenient time to develop some faith in me.
[Just leave him here to burn... He sits back, covering his face with one hand and sighing. As a favor to him, please forget this conversation happened.]
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[Asshole! He shoves at his arm and leans forward to grab his toast again.] Stop being weird and eat something.
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I haven't decided. [So, there's that. After another couple seconds he'll sit up properly and pick up one of the fruit bowls.] This would be simpler if you were only angry.
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No offense, D, but I'm human! Emotions don't come and go in single file lines like that!
[Like, he probably could have yelled a defense less strange, but he's emotional right now. Why is it so hard to get!] Sorry it's not more simple for you.
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I'm only telling you what I think. It would be simpler for both of us.
an edit 20 minutes later, laura...
don't JUDGE me
too late
leaves this post
you would never leave the plant
i'm taking my plants with me
yOU CANT LEAVE MY DUMB AMERICAN
ah it's the plot of the manga
shit that's true
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I forgot I didn't reply to this until beans talked about petshop
ya nerd
shh
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