teaism | pls don't judge me I have so many injured guren icons okay

pls don't judge me I have so many injured guren icons okay

[Compared to this, the talking furniture from ages ago seemed almost pleasant. The door clicks shut behind them, and Guren almost wants to drop down right here. It's the first building they've come across in a while now— some sort of cabin in the woods that's falling apart just like the rest of the town they'd started in. Guren was bleeding from a variety of areas— a number of spots on his torso, his head, his face, his thigh— and that doesn't even start on the broken bones he's sporting, but he had a demon to take care of those injuries.

The man he was trying to support next to him was a different story. Hadn't they said something about not wanting to test if he could die and come back...?]

Look at me, Dex. [Guren wasn't trying to hide his worry now. He'd arrived too late, or at least that's his perspective. He shows up and something is nearly finished toying with Dextera like he's some sort of doll— something grey, with wings. Guren couldn't grasp what was happening, but interrupting had shown him that he was nearly outmatched. Nearly. With some biting words, he'd slain the creature(?) just before he was about to be offed himself. It was risky, to say the least.

But they're indoors now. Indoors, and there have to be supplies they can make use of somewhere. He staggers his next step forward as he tries to lead Dextera in, coughing blood against the back of his own hand. He's noticing that even his own injuries are staying longer than usual, somehow...]

Damn it...

[But he needs to know how Dextera is doing. How much can he handle? Guren doesn't want to find out his limit right now. One hand grips at Dextera's shoulder. They've been supporting each other the whole walk here, and he's trying not to weigh him down. His other hand, though the back of it is bloody now, rests against Dextera's chest carefully.] Sit down here.

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...

[Well, hopefully while staring directly into his eyes, Dextera can catch the most embarrassed and surprised expression to ever cross Guren's face for a split second. His face feels hot, but he's sure any slight blush is blocked by blood and dirt, anyway.]

You think so? [It's cute, the way he says it like that instead of asking. He thought working Dextera up like this would be a bad idea, but he wants more? Peaceful cuddling and kissing doesn't sound bad at all...]

Just don't let me hurt you. [That's what he decides on saying before he closes what little distance is left, turning his head slightly to catch Dextera's lips in a soft, slow kiss.]

[ he knows he wants to be kissed!! but it's hard to just up and ask for something like that, when he's hardly used to asking for anything at all.

since he's prepared this time, he closes his eyes with the slightest tension from anticipation—but as soon as guren connects, he melts. this is what he wanted, after all, even if he can't return the favor as actively as he'd like to.

he has to settle for trying to shift closer. the only sign that it might hurt at all is the hitch in his breathing, but it's gone as soon as it's heard, and he's wholly glad to be kissing guren like this. he's not an expert at cuddling and kissing and all this soft, sweet affection, but he knows a little bit about what he's doing. it's exciting. ]

[It's nice. It's so nice that Guren feels his heart swell, and he's still not sure if that's a good or a bad thing in relation to his own demon. He can feel Mahiru stirring in his mind, and he muffles her as much as he can. He doesn't need this moment ruined.

Trying to help with Dextera's sore body, Guren moves closer still, so that there's no gap left to close. Even his leg slips closer, between both of Dextera's, just to have them tangled together.

Kissing is easy because it's all about feeling. He doesn't need experience or knowledge to know what feels good, to know how to express himself with it. It doesn't matter that they're both dirty, beat up and covered in blood. They have a makeshift bed that's squeaking a little too much with every small shift, they have blankets, and they have each other— as corny as that sounds, it's all Guren wants right now.

He wants it so much. Too much? He pauses in the kiss before he tries to deepen it too much. Breathing against Dextera's lips, his hand slides up his neck to the side of his face, cupping his cheek.]

I'm glad I get to see you, too. [It's so quiet, it's barely above a whisper. He's late, he knows, but he realized he wanted to say it before it was too late.]

[ it's a shame that this is all on the heels of such injury, or else dextera would be all in favor of deepening it here and now. who knows when they'll ever again have such a perfect setup, even if the strange fog of the forest is still heavy around the house they've found? it's not even eerie, when they're safe inside, together on this bed.

when they part, his breath is soft, softer than his voice, but there's desire behind it that he wishes he could act on. ]

You mean... a lot to me.

[ dextera wants to say more than that, but even he's embarrassed at the thought of being so honest, so quickly. there are some things that need to be saved for a rainy day, although today he discovered that that rainy day might never come if he isn't careful.

but for now, this is enough. he laughs a breath against guren's mouth, as if in apology for saying something like that in the first place. ]

I'm sorry.

[I shouldn't. The immediate response he has to someone saying that he matters is a little sad— he knows any of his friends would give him hell for it, but it's automatic. Even in a world where being Ichinose scum doesn't actually matter, there are too many reasons why he's not a good match for anyone.

But he can't stop what he wants. He can't stop it at all. It gives life meaning, relationships like this, and this is new meaning— he hasn't had new meaning in a long time. Not like this, anyway.]

Don't apologize.

[He's serious but gentle with those words, fingers curling lightly where his hand cups his face. It's embarrassing to talk about this, but when it becomes serious, then he can ignore the embarrassment. Dextera is opening up to him, and he's not about to push that away.]

You mean a lot to me, too. Isn't that obvious? [Serious, and spoken kind of powerfully, in some way...?] I won't let anything happen to you again.

[If he says that, if he's this determined... maybe it's fine what Dextera thinks. Guren doesn't give him time to reply, kissing him again. It's a rush of passion that has him acting, so it's hard to keep it entirely chaste— but he's holding back, too, and that's noticeable. He doesn't want to make poor Dextera hurt.]

[ it’s not a problem that guren doesn’t give him time to reply—he doesn’t know what he would say, anyway. he’s never done this with anyone else. he’s never felt like this with anyone else, a love that lasts beyond the infatuation of contact and kindness.

love. well, maybe he won’t say that outright, and he’s not even sure that it’s true, but this is something more powerful than he’s encountered before. guren’s kiss stops the tears before they can spill from his eyes.

it’s for the best, he’s sure. guren would scold him. ]

Hah—

[ dextera grips guren’s arm, holding himself back from trying to deepen the kiss, bring them even closer than this even if their bodies can’t get much nearer to each other.

when he pulls back, he’s panting. ]

[What a powerful feeling. It's difficult to hold back when this is what he feels. Lust is there, of course, and he's a little ashamed that it's so strong, but it isn't where it ends at all. His heart is overflowing, or that's what it feels like, and his own eyes almost want to do the same thing and spill out. He manages not to let that happen.

But Guren is breathing a little hard himself. Damn it. What are they supposed to do at all, with this? What he wants is so entirely selfish, even if Dextera is interested, too. Even still, he finds himself kissing again at Dextera's bottom lip.

"You're so cute, Guren." There are arms behind him that he knows only he would be able to see, slipping in around his shoulders as if she can just share the bed. Her hair is everywhere, her lips are by his ear, and he tenses. "You want him so badly that you're starting to shake... Ah, is that how you were with me, too?"

The kiss breaks again before he can even fully get into it, and his eyes flick down, out of the way.

"Why don't you just take him right now? I bet he won't mind the pain. Just look at him..." But that slender hand slips past him like it wants to brush Dextera's cheek, as well, and even if Guren knows that wouldn't do more than give Dextera a weird feeling (he might have one even now, with Mahiru focused on him), Guren still reacts.

His hand pulls back from Dextera's face to swat back at her, and her image fades away like smoke with her laugh echoing in his mind.

And now he's left rolled onto his back, too far away from Dextera again (and too close to falling off this bed), looking like an idiot.]

[ dextera doesn’t immediately know what’s happened. it’s his first instinct to think that it’s his fault—but there’s a strange feeling in the air that’s gone before he can try to make sense of it, and he wonders if it’s her. he doesn’t know much about guren’s demon, unable to interact with her in any way, but he’s gotten good at noticing when guren acts just a little different. a little haunted. ]

Guren.

[ (mahiru is probably right, anyway—he wouldn’t protest, through the pain, but that’s not exactly an ideal encounter for either of them.)

he frowns, concerned, and he props himself up so he can seek guren’s face with his eyes. he inhales, holding it there—now that he’s laid down once, it pricks at him to move, but guren feels more important than a momentary discomfort. ]

Was that...?

[It's already too late, so Guren won't try to turn his face away or hide anything. He's staring at the ceiling a little too blankly, and when Dextera's face comes into view, his eyes slide over to him. He's moving again? He's going to end up hurting himself.]

Yeah. It's just a nuisance, so don't worry about it.

[He sighs, and it's not nearly as heavy as it needs to be, but he really doesn't want to worry Dextera over drama that he can't even begin to explain. He pushes himself up, leaning over to take Dextera's shoulders carefully.]

It hurts, doesn't it? If you're not careful, one of those wounds could start bleeding again. Get comfortable.

...

[ it doesn’t feel good to just leave guren like this. even if dextera isn’t going anywhere, it’s letting the conversation die that feels like he’s abandoning him.

however, he settles back down, knowing that guren is right. he probably already is bleeding. ]

At least give me your hand.

[Please don't be bleeding... Guren is going to worry if they end up sleeping and he wakes up to more blood. Dextera can't afford to lose much more like that.

His hand, though. It's a little different to hear it asked for like that, instead of just having it taken or gestured at. He offers it to him with a faint smile.]

Sorry. [He adds that now, since the moment was so thoroughly ruined. He'd probably worried him. Guren shifts to lie down like they had been before, close and comfortable, even with his hand offered out.]

But I probably should have stopped to let you breathe, anyway. [Haha... he went so hard for the smooches]

[ of all the ways dextera could completely lose his breath, smooching is among the best. if it hadn’t been interrupted, by guren or the demon that hangs over his shoulders, there’s a non-negligible chance that dextera would have let himself pass out going for it.

he takes guren’s hand, lacing their fingers together and closing his eyes. it’s not comfortable, exactly, but he’d rather be like this than apart for a second longer. ]

It’s fine.

[ he means it. if guren is all right, that’s what matters. ]

Give me some time... I just need to heal.

[ He had a feeling he wanted to hold his hand, but doing it like this is still different. Guren immediately laughs warmly, giving his hand a light squeeze and running his thumb up and down where their fingers link. It’s nice. He’ll let his own hand rest at an awkward angle to make it easier on Dextera. Hopefully. ]

So you want me to kiss you again when you’re all better?

[ He will, of course. He’ll do it all the time, if he can. Whenever he gets the chance... ] Hurry up and heal faster.

[ He’s worried still. But maybe like this... they can get some rest, and then Guren can brave the fog to see what medicinal plants he may be able to find and bring back. ]

Hmm.

[ dextera turns his face away from guren, but there’s an airiness to it that suggests he’s only teasing—playing coy, when guren accuses him of wanting to be kissed.

there’s no hiding it, though. even if he could turn away completely, the smile is audible even in the lilt of his voice. ]

[ He’s so cute when he’s himself that Guren can’t believe he was more meek at first. Or... hesitant, maybe? He’d slowly opened up, and the more Guren saw, the more he liked. Now, there’s this coyness that has him laughing, leaning closer to press a kiss right by his ear. ]

Maybe I’ll hold back unless you ask me, later.

[ But he couldn’t even hold back now, could he? He chuckles, and even if his thoughts are still heavy in the back of his mind, and Mahiru is still very real, he’s able to relax. ]

[ dextera feels more like himself, around guren. losing his memories made him reserved, made him afraid—but guren has never taken advantage of that any more than a normal person would, and dextera was able to respond with his true self in kind.

now, it’s paid off. he squeezes guren’s fingers instead of speaking, finding his energy to answer draining out of him the more he lies here with his eyes closed. eventually, he’s thinking nothing at all, slipping into a well-earned rest.

this one is plagued with no nightmares, perhaps due to guren’s sure and steady weight at his side, their fingers laced together. ]

[ So both of them are able to sleep well, this once. It’s a relief, and when Guren wakes up, he’s glad to feel that Dextera is still breathing beside him. But as much as he wants to stay here like this, comfortable, he knows he has to wake Dextera up.

He squeezes lightly at their still joined hands, moving to sit up. His eyes linger on Dextera’s face for a moment before he dares to lean down for a chaste kiss. Then his hand slips away, and he’s out of the bed, moving around. He has to get to those wounds!! If Dextera isn’t woken by all of that, he probably will be at Guren coming to the other side of the bed, pushing clothes out of the way so he can address those wounds.

When he does realize Dex is awake, he at least smiles. ]

Morning. [ it’s almost domestic ]

[ dextera is a light sleeper, though exhaustion drew him down a little further than he usually goes. he’s dazed upon waking up, but his mind quickly catches up with him—guren’s hands are here and there and his clothes are being shifted because dextera is wounded. right.

he doesn’t say anything right away, maybe forgetting that his voice came back to him. habit is hard to break, after all. either way, he acknowledges guren’s greeting with a shy smile of his own.

as guren will find, he’s... still pretty beaten up, but at least there’s not much new blood. being next to guren kept him from moving too much as they slept—it’s just soreness, now, settling into his bones, and the tightness around his wounds that definitely means he needs to pay attention to them. ]

Ngh—

[ he tries to move to help guren access his injuries easier, and he’s rewarded with pain for his efforts. good morning!! ]

[Hm, yeah. That's bound to hurt. Guren still feels guilt while looking at all of these injuries, but he won't focus on how sad he feels for him right now. That doesn't help. Instead, he's peeling off old washcloths and whatever bandages he'd found and eyeing what's underneath.

A glance to the window in the room tells him that it's even foggier outside this morning than it was yesterday. He's still not sure what that means, but it doesn't feel right, and that tells him enough. These wounds aren't doing too bad for the next day, considering what little they've had to work with, but he still wants to do more to help with them. Like clean them off... and maybe something for the pain.]

I might have to go out myself. [He says it after he checks out the third one, eyes flicking up to Dextera. He knows he probably won't like it, and Guren is worried it'll mean he'll try to move around himself, but...] It won't take too long. Maybe an hour or two.

[ guren is right about dextera not liking it, and he dislikes it with a quickness that might be a little unexpected, even for guren—he forces himself to sit up, as if he’s completely planning to go out with guren and hunt for whatever’s out there to help him heal up.

they’re his wounds, his fault. he shouldn’t be relaxing in bed... but as soon as he moves, a grimace crosses his expression. even so, it’s because they got split up that this happened in the first place—dextera is reckless in this particular way, unwilling to just let guren go without a fight. ]

Hey—!

[Dextera is going to give him a heart attack. Guren tenses at that movement, hands hovering like he's not sure if gripping at his arms to keep him still will help or hurt. Eventually, he decides to rest them there anyway.]

I said stay put! How are you going to follow me in this condition? It's too dangerous!

[Why can't people ever just LISTEN to him, gosh.]

I—

[ well, his voice is still there, but now he's feeling sorry so he's a little quieter than he was the night before. not to mention the fact that he almost certainly pulled something open with that little stunt. ]

I can move. You shouldn't go by yourself.

[ he was better at listening when they first met... now he has, like, opinions and feelings. ]

[Ugh... He would have gone while he was still asleep, but waking up to no one after a promise about not leaving... that would have been too much. Now, though, how can he trust that Dextera will stay put and be okay back here? Should he take him with him...?

But he can't move at all!!]

You can't move. Look— [He takes Dextera's hand, suddenly, sliding it under his own shirt and jacket to where one of his many deep wounds had been. Not the one Dextera had healed, specifically, just to prove a point.]

I'm completely healed. [There's not even a scar or a cut to feel under there, and it's that way with all of his injuries now. As if he hadn't been hurt to begin with. If the blood weren't there, no one would know better.] But moving for you is only going to make those wounds bleed.

[ oh... he is healed, which is incredible. he's as good as new, and dextera's hand lingers a little longer than is necessary just to marvel at it. it's not new knowledge that guren can regenerate himself, but it's strange to see evidence of it when he was so damaged just the night before. ]

...

[ this time, his silence is a choice. he's going to sit here and worry if he lets guren go out there on his own, but he's also painfully aware that he's a liability like this. ]

Bring me back an animal. It'll help.

...An animal?

[That's... not what he expected to hear. His fingers brush over Dextera's wrist as he pulls his hand back and straightens the collar of his shirt.]

Like a pet? [...

He doesn't get it, but he doesn't have to, either.]

That's fine. Here... [Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a stopwatch he came across, tapping at the screen a few times to make sure it works before holding it out to Dextera.] Two hours. If I'm not back by then, then you can come after me. That way you'll know I'll be back by then for sure.

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