90s sadness and gay???

[dtective]

[By this point, Leon has lost track of how long he's been searching for Count D. It became an obsession that only grew with time, and now he couldn't keep to one spot anymore. Not while D was still out there. Across cities, across countries, he probably looked insane to everyone around him. But they didn't know the half of it! Sometimes even Leon wasn't sure he understood what he was doing.

Right now wasn't the time to doubt himself, though. He'd hoped that this lead would get him even an inch closer to his goal, but he hadn't counted on spotting him in the streets. It had to be him. He'd seen him turn and look at him, and those eyes—]

Wait! Stop right there!

[He doesn't hold back, shoving his way through the crowded streets and keeping his eyes locked on him. It doesn't work, because of course it doesn't, and his steps slow in his confusion. His heart is beating way too fast, his stomach sinks, and for a moment he's sure he's lost his one chance.

But something catches the corner of his eye, and his instinct tells him to turn. He reaches out, grabbing the first wrist he can and meeting D's eyes with his own.]

...Found you.

Comments

[dtective]

Too late! There's no take-backs.

[Nope, he's going to duck and turn and hold the pillow closer, it's his... He, a grown ass man, has this pillow and no one else can take it back.]

Don't you have some tomatoes to check on or something? [Get him his food, he's hungry, has it been an hour yet]

[pruning]

You can't eat if you're going to be like this over a pillow.

[So there, you actual child. But fine, rather than waste perfectly good food, D will turn and march away to check on the tomatoes. Let's say the egg timer conveniently goes off just as he's looking, so he can bring the whole dang dish out for Leon's lazy ass in a few more minutes. There's a pot holder and some utensils, too.

Don't say he doesn't do things for you...!! Those things do not currently include handing Leon any utensils, though. Those are behind his back the way only mature adults hide utensils behind their backs.]

Give me the pillow.

[dtective]

[What the hell!! Leon sits up with half of a grumble, shoving the pillow into D's chest the second the food is set down.]

If you think I won't just shove those things into my mouth by hand, I don't know what to tell you.

[Now give him the fork before he literally does it and burns his mouth off.]

[pruning]

[Extra rude!! D does not necessarily throw a fork at him, but he passes it in a way that is suspiciously irritable and could be mistaken for throwing a fork at someone from the right angle, including Leon's.

He then calmly picks up the pillow from where it fell lamely to the floor, to fluff it and put it back where it belongs on the end of this couch. It seems to need his protection, so he seats himself next to Leon and frowns at him. The frown is not new and has been there since the fork was not thrown.]

Burning yourself to prove a stupid point! Barbarian.

[dtective]

The only point is that I'm starving.

[Making this lame, pouty face at that fork throwing, he grips it tighter and immediately stabs it into one of the tomatoes to cut off a piece and shove it into his mouth. He still probably burns his tongue, but after that he perks up.]

Hey, this isn't too bad after all!

[pruning]

[What a moron... D quits messing with the pillow long enough to give him a Look. Don't say it like that.]

How backhanded of you. Don't spill any rice.

[dtective]

What?

[As he says this, some rice sprays out right there... He's not sorry at all if some flings out at D.]

Learn to take a compliment as it is! [Backhanded, who cares.] If I get meals like this every day, I could get used to staying with you!

[pruning]

[GROSS oh my god now he has to pick rice off his pristine dress thing, this is disgusting!!]

When will you get used to not speaking with your mouth full?

[dtective]

[Don't be such a baby?? Leon just looks pleased at the suffering he's put D through as he shoves more food into his mouth. Look at him devour this... Has it really been just a couple of days without real food, or weeks...

Well, this entire traveling thing has been a mess, so.]

Have you sold any pets here, yet?

[He's asked something that basically amounted to this earlier, but he wasn't satisfied with the answer, so here he goes again. Also: talking with his mouth full. He will never stop, clearly.]

[pruning]

[Okay, don't spit rice everywhere but also don't starve. D would be bothered if Leon suddenly collapsed from being malnourished. He's doing something about it, see.]

...No, I haven't. You must know how short my stay here has been, so far.

[He plucks distractedly at the edges of the pillow as he says this. Look, no one is dead, Leon should know if he's such a good detective.]

[dtective]

[Sometimes it takes them a few days to die, okay.]

Yeah, but you've been one step ahead of me this whole time until now. For all I knew you could have sold something off to the President of Italy on your first day!

[He wouldn't put it past him. He can't exactly stop him from doing that anyway, but he needs to be here for it...]

[pruning]

I'm surprised you knew Italy has a president.

[Although he's raising an eyebrow, because he's 99% sure that was a guess in the vein of "why wouldn't it be just like America??" Make his day.]

Regardless, I am telling you the truth.

[dtective]

What are you talking about? Italy is a modern country.

[Hmmm, yes, guess whose suspicions were 100% correct. He's going to eat his tomato as if he wasn't just incredibly insulting on so many levels.]

I'll believe you. Someone would be barging in or calling you right now if you weren't telling the truth.

[pruning]

[Leon, for god's sake. One of these days D will have to sit him down with an encyclopedia and not let him get up until he's finished reading it.]

Always a world-wise man. [Anyway, his legitimate business is not quite booming, but that's fine.] I have been enjoying the time off.

[no he hasn't but whatever]

[dtective]

[Pointed staring as he slows his next bite and stops just before eating it.]

You don't know the first thing about enjoying time off.

[pruning]

[Don't start with him!!!]

Just because I don't approve of the wild vacations you want to take...!

[dtective]

What's so wild about wanting to enjoy some time on the beach?

[This gives him an idea, actually.]

That's what you need. A real vacation, without any of your weird animal friends! I'm going to find somewhere to take you here in Italy, and we're going to relax and have fun.

[pruning]

[God, no. No, this is already a terrible idea. D has made enough choices today that will definitely come back to haunt him, he's not signing up for more.]

I am not a tourist, Detective. And how do you think you'll arrange this, anyway, with no money and no command of the language at all?

[dtective]

There's got to be stuff we can do for free. Or maybe if I owe a few favors... I'll figure it out.

[He has his Poor Ways of finding things to do. He'll find something for them!]

And what are you complaining about? A vacation's not going to kill you! [Unlike SOME HOBBIES...]

[pruning]

[Free tourism is even worse! He sighs, waving a hand and sitting back into the couch, apparently having given up already. He doesn't really believe Leon will pull something off successfully.]

I simply mean I don't need to be dragged around Italy to see the same sights as every other irritating, loud, disruptive tourist...!

[dtective]

Isn't Chinatown one of those weird tourist spots, anyway...?

[Dubious staring. What is so wrong with ENJOYMENT, D!! He is going to figure something out later and he is going to drag D with him, he has decided. What would be good? Definitely not anything like a zoo. Even the ocean has too much life in the water to risk. A walk... But there are animals there...

Wait, is there any spot where there aren't animals? He's having a crisis over here over his tomatoes.]

[pruning]

It's a community for a people to share their culture in countries very different from their own! Is your neighborhood an attraction for gawking imbeciles to be awed over people doing ordinary things?

[Tourism is disgusting and Americans are the worst kind of tourists!! But perhaps he should just take Leon to the usual tourist spots to make him stop insisting. The shop has always needed a picture of Leon posing with the Tower of Pisa, but they'd have to take a train or something and could he endure Leon on a train?

He's doing so much enduring lately, it's horrible. Why is he even entertaining this nonsense? Ugh.]

[dtective]

Maybe there should be an America town.

[US town?? USA town?? He'll accept all versions, thanks. Maybe then he could get a nice burger.]

The point is, it's been forever! [Since he... bugged D daily??] Can't you allow one day for doing something out of your comfort zone?

[pruning]

Maybe you should read a book. [LEARN ABOUT IMPERIALISM you stupid jerk.

But fine, they're still on this topic of D being an no-fun miser? That's great. He loves that one.] I don't see why I should be forced onto your inane outings.

[dtective]

'Cause I said so!

[That's all the reason he needs!! He huffs, finishing probably his like, third tomato, and finally setting the plate down so he can lean back.]

It could be fun. [That's offered a little quieter, not at his usual volume.] Aren't you tired of all of the running around? I don't want to play cat and mouse any more than you do. Let's just take a day off and do something nice for once.