teaism | 90s sadness and gay???

You heard me!

[Ugh, he's questioning him on it. He reaches up to slip his hand into his hair again, quickly dropping it after and uncrossing his legs. He's fidgeting so much, but he's on the spot, here! He didn't expect to get this chance today! How many times will he be surprised his plan worked in the end...]

Even with everything I know now, I still don't know what the hell's going through that crazy mind of yours. But I don't think you're doing this for the wrong reasons. [??????] You just have a twisted way of going about things.

[That's one way of putting it... But look, also he's... realized that D's only ever tried to help him. He thinks. In a way... Ugh, his head hurts thinking about this. He just wants to help.]

Why can't you just tell me what you're thinking without any tricks for once? [let him in]

[?????????]

And immediately after we discussed your defying expectations...

[He's honestly surprised he's hearing this-- it was one thing to have Leon blithely assume he was coming along, after everything that happened, but to have him sit here and tell D that he's... not entirely wrong? Just using some questionable methods? That's--

Oh, he's ruined this poor man, hasn't he. That's an interesting feeling. He stares at Leon for another beat, then looks down, folding his hands in his lap.]

I do not understand... how to do what you want me to do. [he can't just open up!!] Do you truly believe in this?

[In what he's doing, or something... He missed Leon's epiphany, okay, this is all coming out of nowhere.]

What was that thing you told me once... Moths are drawn to a flame?

[How many times will he forget this simple saying. One that could be said for himself, probably, but he's thinking about the issue of humanity again. What D must be feeling. It's always his job to get in the heads of the people he's dealing with, to try and understand where they're coming from, and maybe he can see what D means.

He's witnessed a lot as a cop.]

You might be right about that. At least I don't have anything to go against it.

[At least that's all he's going to say about it, right now. The last thing he wants D to hear is multiple flat out you might be rights. In fact, even saying that just now makes him feel a little sick. Is this really okay to be saying...]

[Oh, that. He does remember that, although properly, and not in the Leon version-- and instead of asking how Leon's come to this conclusion, he makes the assumption himself that it has something to do with his line of work. The amount of times Leon has sat sulking in his shop over the outcome of any number of cases... it doesn't surprise D to think he's developed a negative opinion based on the sort of people who get involved with the police.

Still probably D's fault, though. It's a random bubble of thought rather than a guilty feeling, already. No one demanded Leon insert himself so thoroughly into D's life.]

I see. I'm afraid I do not see how this leads to you hiring yourself out as my personal bodyguard, however... [tell him you missed him]

You're really digging for more on that...

[Stare... No, he doesn't want to admit anything more than this. It's been ages, but he hasn't changed all that much. Even thinking about D's attitude is making him angry!! Stop questioning his points.]

And no one's going that far! Did you forget I said I'd keep you in line, too?

[Leon... rejected, please leave. Or rather, he'd like a real answer to that, but for this very brief moment he'll take any out from what he'd just said a moment ago. Leon hadn't reacted too strongly to his admission that he has no idea what he's doing, but he can't risk it.

So without further preamble he holds out his hands, wrists together, loosely formed into fists. Go ahead you jerk, arrest him.]

Do you still carry handcuffs? It's been quite some time.

[His immediate response is to smack those hands as harshly as possible. Don't mock him...!]

As if I could pass through any of all those fucking checkpoints with stuff like that! [He's probably long since lost his job... Retired, ran off, you know. He might be a wanted criminal too, at this point, WHO KNOWS. Ugh, but as much as he'd love to see D in cuffs (no homo), it's just not possible right now. Don't rub in his misery, asshole.]

You're a real pain in the ass.

Goodness, you still have your temper! [THAT WAS MEAN... That actually hurt his delicate hands, which he now holds back close to himself and rubs tenderly. How could you??

But look, he defused one awkward situation for maybe a couple minutes. Good job, D. He might be a pain in the ass...] ...But you still came.

[That he says more quietly, with less of the usual mockery.]

...Yeah, and you didn't seem all that thrilled about it a minute ago. Stop messing with me or I'll show you what temper really looks like.

[Whatever kind of vague threat that's supposed to be... He doesn't stand a chance. Not in anything here. The talk, the physical, the feelings... He stares for a good moment and then looks across the shop once more.]

I don't actually have a place to stay right now, either. [Has he slept on the streets of Italy for a few nights?? Yes. Even if he did have a place, he wouldn't want to leave D right now.] So I'm rooming here.

[He decides this...]

[Shut up, Leon... D raises an eyebrow at him, one stupid threat short of rolling his eyes outright. He's not thrilled, true. He's thoroughly un-thrilled, but of course it's much easier to settle back into the sort-of-normalcy of bothering Leon than anything else. The part of him that's happy to see Leon is at war with every other part of him that's screaming to kick the man out and flee.

--And he doesn't have a place to stay, of course he doesn't!! Christ.]

Are you? This isn't a hotel, you know.

[He feels so great about himself, demanding to stay here!! Yeah!! How cool is he?? Not going to settle for finding an apartment... He literally can't understand anything anyone says here except a few choice phrases, all of them completely useless in the long run. He's also sick and tired of trying to go somewhere for lunch and being met with every shop being closed!! And people say Americans are lazy, sheesh.]

If you think I'm stupid enough to wander off and let you get away, you've got another thing coming! I'm staying right here.

[D wants to hear his shitty Italian, thanks in advance. He also wants to reach over there and smack Leon's stupid expression right off his face, but he won't. He picks up his tea again instead, sitting back to scrutinize Leon over the rim of the cup. This is ridiculous...]

It would be very easy to get away from you, even so. [He has Ways and also animals. But anyway.] But it would hurt the shop's reputation to have you sleeping in the gutter out front, so I suppose I will have to let you stay.

[That's the only reason, he will swear it. He sips his tea. There are so many more things he could say at this point and only some of them rude, like maybe something biting about how he's so eager to have Leon putting his feet all over the furniture, but--] I have... missed your company. Somewhat.

You're admitting you missed me?

[What kind of alternate world is this. He's ignoring that whole somewhat part, brightening for the convenience of it. He's got a place to stay, D's basically admitted to giving up on running away from him now that he's caught... This is a chance!

A chance for what? Understanding, maybe. And maybe he's right that some people need a good kick in the ass every now and then, but he couldn't live with him out there and doing that on his own. After everything that's happened, this just feels like the way it should be.]

I got used to how things used to be, too. Arguing with you over tea every day felt normal. And I wouldn't bust my ass off moving country to country for just anyone. [He'll say this... Since D said something first. And when he thinks back on it, the thing he remembers most vividly is that D had been crying when he shoved him off that stupid boat. He won't bring that up.] But how are you even conducting your business here? Do you speak Italian? What about all of those other countries you've been holing up in?

[Don't call him out!! Jesus! How is he supposed to maintain his aloof and distant persona if he's called out on these stupid, stupid things he says? Damn Leon. Or rather: D bristles, sips his tea more irritably, but doesn't say anything while Leon just keeps talking. He did miss him, despite himself, but while he's sitting here being annoying it's hard to remember why.

...Still, while it's strange to have this apparent privilege of being followed around the world (still bothersome, it's not really a privilege, ugh), that at least gets him to relax minutely. It isn't the same as Leon saying he missed D, but he's not going to admit he'd want that... no.] How touching.

[Ugh, this stupid oaf. Why is he still asking questions??]

Of course I speak Italian. [He almost considers just going on in Italian, but maybe later...] German, as well. And the language of each of the other places you've followed me to.

[He... knows every language... He thought he was just speaking Chinese and somehow getting by??? Where did he learn all these languages? Was he born with them? Is this another weird Chinese not-clone thing...]

Oh. [He doesn't know a single other language beyond stupid phrases he learned at one point or another, save him...] I guess that's not the weirdest thing I've heard about you, but still...

[All of his struggling when Count D was over here having a good time, understanding everything... Damn him. Also he really doesn't know how to stop asking questions. It's a miracle he hasn't unloaded them all right now. For example: do his pets still look like people? ARE they people? Is his grandfather still following him around??

Hmmm... he's going to grab this cookie off of the tea plate and wave it a bit.]

Don't you have any real food?

[Probably, maybe, who knows?? Actually, things are kind of uncomfortable with Grandfather, especially after the cold way he took their new... addition to the family and left D behind without a word. He's probably not following D around. Thank god, honestly, even if it stings.

He sighs after his next sip, trying and failing to ignore cookies being waved at him. Now the freeloader wants a whole meal? Honestly. But he puts the cup down after that, moving to stand.]

And what is the "weirdest thing" about me? [That's a safe question to half-jokingly throw out there, isn't it? He still feels weirdly dissatisfied, like reverting back to their usual banter right now is nothing more than a curtain drawn over the very real problem of Leon being here, but perhaps if he placates the man with food first...

Or something. He looks down at Leon, frowning. Hmm. After a moment he waves a hand at the tea tray, then turns and just. Walks away?? Towards the mysterious back rooms of the shop...] Bring that this way, will you?

Gee, I don't know. Your weird pet-people, the way your whole god damn family looks exactly the same, this shop... That boat thing was pretty out there, too.

[He was just going to list off weird things about D, but now as he glances over, he realizes he's already started walking away? He's quick to his feet, pausing just a bit before scowling and picking up the tea tray.]

Why didn't you bring it yourself! [Here he is, complaining about being made to move when he asked for free food. Still, despite all that, he'll bring it along as he follows cluelessly.]

[None of those things are weird, Leon just doesn't understand!! Maybe if he did, they wouldn't have so many stupid arguments! No, they would.

Anyway, the room D leads him to is very obviously a kitchen, although like everything else in the shop it's a little too ornate to be considered reasonable or, god forbid, modern. To the point where there's an old-fashioned icebox instead of a fridge, and everything... D crosses to where that is by one wall, gesturing behind him for Leon to figure out what to do with that tray and the counter top.]

I could have sworn you weren't letting me out of your sight! Do tell me if I'm released from your bumbling house arrest.

[He says this, but it's not the main intention... a sub-intention, maybe. He's frowning into the icebox.] Do you even enjoy Italian cuisine, Detective?

[Hmmph... He's not going to reply to that comment. He just gives D a Look as he passes by, setting the tray on the counter. "Detective," too. Just like he'd said officer earlier. Leon isn't sure he wants to correct him, as that would be admitting too many things out loud. Mostly to himself.]

You mean like pizza or spaghetti? Sure I do. I had them back in LA all the time. [He's thinking of the most Americanized Italian dishes imaginable, naturally.] It's not like your weird Chinese food. But I guess Panda's pretty okay...

[he will never stop]

You Americans have absolutely no sense of culture.

[Christ... pizza and spaghetti!! Well he's not going to make either of those. And he's diplomatically ignoring the Chinese food comment - Panda, really? Disgusting. He spares Leon only the briefest of exasperated looks before he starts gathering ingredients. There aren't too many - tomatoes, potatoes, rice and a few other little things - but none of them are hamburgers and beer, so he's already anticipating Leon getting picky about it.

So, nipping that in the bud, once he's arranged ingredients and utensils, he turns abruptly to Leon, pressing a potato and peeler into his hands.]

Peel these, thank you. [now you have to help, city boy, do you regret being a dumb freeloader yet??]

Peel them?

[Here he is, standing with a peeler in one hand and a potato in the other, looking surprised. Why does he have to peel them!! Ugh, but he is staying here without rent... Thankfully this shock interrupts his would-be argument about how Americans totally have culture. He had been planning to list off various non-American things that he thinks are actually unique to the USA...

Now he's just holding this over the counter and not even the sink, attempting to peel a single strip of this potato. He manages, but there goes a good chunk of the potato with the skin...]

What are you trying to make? [This doesn't look like a Meal at all.]

[Look at this... moron... D can't bear to watch him waste potatoes like this.]

It should be pomodori col riso, if you leave any potatoes to add to the dish. [Let him just put down the tomato he was going to prepare to reach over and adjust Leon's fumbling dumb American grip, hopefully so that he'll actually peel the potatoes instead of just shred them.

Then he'll go back to the tomatoes, which need to be cut open and scooped out of their tomato-y innards.]

They are tomatoes stuffed with seasoned rice, with a side of potatoes. It's considered "fast food" in this country.

Pompadoury what?

[Why do they make these dish names so hard to understand! Leon frowns, staring with a little too much focus as D adjusts his hold on the potato and the peeler. He can handle this just fine, thanks. ...But now that he tries another slice, it does make the skin come off a lot thinner.

But wait a minute—]

Fast food? This isn't anything close to fast food! Where's the meat? The grease? Talk about a rip off. It must suck to be Italian.

[get the hell out of his house-- It's Italian!! It's another language, Leon. D gives him another look, but continues to prepare the tomatoes without too much interruption. Just peel the potatoes, dear...]

Nothing could be as dreadful as putting that horrible greasy garbage into your body on purpose. Have you been begging for hamburgers on the side of the road all this time? Perhaps I should have dealt with you sooner, so you would at least remember to take care of yourself.

[He's fussing while insulting, this is fine.]

What's wrong with hamburgers? Hell, you could use some meat on your bones! Maybe you should try a few some time!

[Leon... He's so proud of himself for being like this, so he'll just keep peeling potatoes. But most importantly, his pride tells him to speak up against that fussing comment.] I take care of myself just fine.

[He says, immediately before his stomach growls as loudly as humanly possible. His peeling slows, and then picks up the pace again as he pointedly ignores that. He hasn't been starving himself off and on at all, shut up!!]

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