teaism | pls don't judge me I have so many injured guren icons okay

pls don't judge me I have so many injured guren icons okay

[Compared to this, the talking furniture from ages ago seemed almost pleasant. The door clicks shut behind them, and Guren almost wants to drop down right here. It's the first building they've come across in a while now— some sort of cabin in the woods that's falling apart just like the rest of the town they'd started in. Guren was bleeding from a variety of areas— a number of spots on his torso, his head, his face, his thigh— and that doesn't even start on the broken bones he's sporting, but he had a demon to take care of those injuries.

The man he was trying to support next to him was a different story. Hadn't they said something about not wanting to test if he could die and come back...?]

Look at me, Dex. [Guren wasn't trying to hide his worry now. He'd arrived too late, or at least that's his perspective. He shows up and something is nearly finished toying with Dextera like he's some sort of doll— something grey, with wings. Guren couldn't grasp what was happening, but interrupting had shown him that he was nearly outmatched. Nearly. With some biting words, he'd slain the creature(?) just before he was about to be offed himself. It was risky, to say the least.

But they're indoors now. Indoors, and there have to be supplies they can make use of somewhere. He staggers his next step forward as he tries to lead Dextera in, coughing blood against the back of his own hand. He's noticing that even his own injuries are staying longer than usual, somehow...]

Damn it...

[But he needs to know how Dextera is doing. How much can he handle? Guren doesn't want to find out his limit right now. One hand grips at Dextera's shoulder. They've been supporting each other the whole walk here, and he's trying not to weigh him down. His other hand, though the back of it is bloody now, rests against Dextera's chest carefully.] Sit down here.

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[ dextera nods in response to the question of his purification, and he finally pulls back—leaning further into guren’s hand like he wants to be pet—to examine his body for himself. guren has done a nice job of cleaning him up, and he’s grateful. ]

Not worse. Just not good.

[ he clenches his fist together and immediately grimaces at the movement. another apology is on his lips, for letting himself get hurt, but he holds it back, instead frowning down at his hand. ]

I don’t think I can move like this.

["Not good" is pretty expected, looking at Dextera now. Guren obliges the lean with a few affectionate strokes through his hair. It's automatic, really, and stopping this contact seems unnatural at this point. Even if Dex is speaking right now, their bodies have always been able to say more. At least, that's what Guren thinks.]

I can carry you, but that will probably hurt, too. [So, he'd like to avoid doing it until he knows where the best place to sit with him is. He watches his own fingers lace through Dextera's hair, and then flicks his gaze down at his face again. He wants to kiss him, and he's thinking that's too wildly inappropriate. He already got one in there a few moments back...

There's just so much relief along with that concern. Hmm. Friends, though.]

Let me take a quick look at the whole cabin, and I'll see if there's anywhere a little more comfortable that I can move you. Okay?

[ dextera wouldn’t complain to be kissed again, though he wonders now, in the quiet, if he just... imagined it? or if it was an accident. or if it meant nothing at all, and dextera is just a fool. ]

...

[ on that note, he nods mindlessly at guren’s suggestion.

he’s satisfied with where they are, what they are, and it seems so stupid to ask for anything more when he should be grateful that they both survived his stupidity. it’ll take a long time for him to heal completely, and guren will most certainly get tired of worrying about him. ]

[Dextera will learn fairly quickly that Guren will never stop worrying about him. It's just part of who he is, whether or not Dextera gets into trouble, and he doesn't intend to stop caring. Even if he did, it never works when he tries that, anyway.

His hand lingers as he pulls back and stands up, fingers brushing from Dextera's hair to the side of his face, and then he's gone, wandering through the house they've stumbled into. There's an upstairs, and he heads up there after all the rooms downstairs are taken care of. There's the sound of doors, drawers and cabinets opening and shutting, and at some point there's a loud noise that doesn't sound good— but Guren's muffled yelling says that it's just him irritated at part of the floor falling apart and his foot slipping through, and it's nothing serious.

Finally, he comes back down, and there's a smile on his face as he ducks to take Dextera's hand and move it around his own shoulders.]

There's a bed that's not in half bad shape. [He had to take forever making sure it wasn't going to snap from someone sitting on it, though. Once Dextera's arm is guided around him, he hooks his own below his knees and picks him up like a princess. Delicate.] Just let me know if this hurts too much. I'll try to be careful.

[He's being very careful... but it's bound to hurt for Dextera no matter what. It's too bad he couldn't find anything for helping the pain.]

[ a bed... dextera feels plum spoiled at the thought! it’s hard to appreciate it, though, or the way guren picks him up when he finds out just how injured he actually is upon being moved.

he’s no stranger to internal pain, but wounds pulling this way and that, opening in places they had been able to relax when he was slumping over—it’s new. and he grunts through his teeth, a sound all the more pathetic because it’s really not one he usually makes. guren has seen him cry plenty of times, but this is a different, straightforward hurt. ]

Ggh...

[ he doesn’t speak on this one, the words pushed out of him by his pain. instead, he digs his fingers into guren’s shoulder, clenching his teeth together. ]

[Again, he's reminded of how he should have been able to stop this. If he had gotten here sooner, or been stronger, he could have stopped it before it got this bad. He could have been better himself, and treated Dextera much sooner, as well.

But a pity party isn't going to help, and so he frowns at Dex in his arms, but automatically begins moving to the stairs.]

Bear with it a little longer. Once I set you down, it should feel better.

[Up the stairs, and it's a little bit of a complicated process there, with how they're falling apart. But he'd memorized it, and so it was just a matter of stepping carefully to avoid too much bouncing for poor Dextera. The room is just down the hallway, once he gets to the top, the door already open.

He's made sure to have it ready, too. It's a small, twin sized thing, but there's an actual mattress on it. The old, hole filled mattress is covered with a sheet he found to make it look a little more pleasant, and he piled on a few more old, ugly blankets just to make sure it was fine. There's a pillow or two at the end of it, and another blanket at the foot of it in case it gets cold.

Carefully, Guren moves to set him down on it.]

[ dextera is not unaware of how much attention must have gone into preparing this bed, but it’s hard to appreciate it when he’s reminded just how close he came to death for a bit, there.

by the time guren sets him down, he’s breathing hard again, trying to force himself to look better than he feels. it’s strange—for someone who’s died so many times, he’s not used to physical pain. death spoiled him, in a way, though he still doesn’t like to die. ]

Sorry—

[ through clenched teeth, since tensing helps him to focus on something else, even though he knows it’s going to hurt all over again when he lets himself relax. ]

[Guren responds to that by bringing a finger to Dextera's lips and giving him a serious look, poorly masked concern laying right beneath.]

Shh. Just relax, or you'll hurt more later. Come on. [His other hand rests over his chest, and then slides lower over his stomach, like his palm being there will help force him to slowly relax.

It's a small bed, so Guren figures Dextera can have it to himself. The more room, the better, he thinks— room to stretch, to move if something hurts. That harsh breathing is worrying, and Guren really wishes he had some drugs that were useful for this situation.

Instead, he just has his hands. He pulls them both back, and now they're hovering uselessly between himself and Dextera as he stands next to the bed. He's still half hunched over him, like doing that will help him be ready to ease any oncoming pain.]

How's that?

[ dextera swallows, letting himself relax only because guren has, in a way, forced him—and also because he's tired enough that he can only tense his muscles for so long before he has to collapse back onto the bed. he nods, his breath slowing until it evens out. it's still a little shaky, in his chest, but it's not quite as worrying as before. ]

...

[ when he's settled down somewhat, however, he pulls himself to the edge of the bed—with another wince, but a small one—to make room for guren. even if it wasn't his plan to lie down here with dextera, he's injured, too.

also, he looks uncomfortable hovering like that. ]

What are you—

[He's very uncomfortable hovering like this, but his automatic reaction is to fret even more when Dextera moves. He'd set up this bed just for him, assuming he'd be sitting in a shitty old chair in the corner. But now there's space, and of course Dextera would be like this.]

How is it going to be comfortable with two grown men in one bed this size?

[That's his frowning, worrying comment, but he gives in anyway. Asking him to move back is asking him to hurt himself even more to do it, and he'd like to be closer, himself... So he crawls in, too, reaching to take the blanket from the foot of the bed and draping it over Dextera (and himself, a little) as he does.]

Happy?

[ dextera is happy, for a variety of reasons—but it's most obvious in the way he immediately relaxes against guren's side. now that he's not holding himself back trying to make room for someone else, it's easy to just melt into the bed. (old as it is, a mattress is a mattress, and there are blankets to ease the feeling.) even with a voice, though, saying yes seems like such a direct answer... so he lets his movements speak for themselves, saying more in the way he buries his face against guren's arm as soon as it's possible.

it's not necessarily comfortable, but it's welcome. more pleasant by far than being in this bed alone would have been. ]

[Guren watches as he so easily relaxes into him, and he's immediately captivated. What a simple gesture it is, relaxing like that, turning into him— but it makes his heart throb, and his expression softens while he's not worried about keeping it one way or the other. Like this, relaxed and happy, Dextera does look his best. If those wounds and blood stains were gone, it would be perfect.

He's not exactly comfortable on this tiny bed himself, but feeling that weight next to and leaning into him is comfortable. It makes him relax a little more himself, and he lets out a slow breath he was holding.

Again, he wants to kiss him, but he's holding it back. The look he has pointed at Dextera certainly isn't lacking in any of that fondness, affection or desire, but all he does is tuck that blanket in a little over Dextera's further shoulder, and then settle back into the bed a bit more himself.

Silence is fine, just like this, the two of them, and so he doesn't say a word this time.]

[ it's funny how, even with his voice working, silence seems the best between them. there are things that words don't quite capture, feelings that would require a poet to say—though dextera wouldn't say no to someone giving him an idea of what he feels. how to express it. it's all there, bound in his chest, held not because of voicelessness, but because of other, more common reasons.

but he meant it when he said he wanted to live with guren. even with both of them injured, it's hard to complain about this. ]

...

[ if he moves slowly, it's not quite so bad. the less of his body that twists, the better, and so he's deliberate about the way that he moves his arm across guren—holding him, even if it seems a bold gesture coming from someone who's usually so meek. guren does these things to him. ]

[That is bold. And in the middle of thinking his own thoughts, with his heart beating a little faster at each shift closer, it feels like a personal attack. The breath he lets out for it is amused.]

So I was just an extra pillow? [Silence does work better in so many ways, but when he feels overwhelmed by emotions, he doesn't always know how to handle it. A joke? A push away?

He doesn't dare push Dex away. Instead, despite his words, he moves his arms around him in kind, holding him close. He'd pull him even closer if he weren't afraid of hurting him.]

Huh?

[ the noise is out before he can stop it. genuine bafflement, even though he's no stranger to guren hiding his feelings with a joke or a dry comment. it just catches him off guard this time, when he was basking in their quiet together.

—then guren is holding him, too, and dextera wishes for a moment he would risk the pain to pull him closer. it might not even hurt. ]

Don't say that.

[ he breathes out a laugh, but there's something nervous behind it—he even muffles himself by turning his face further against guren. ]

[Hmm, his laugh is nice, even if it sounds nervous.]

Ahaha. [A quiet laugh himself as his hand finds the back of Dexetera's head again, running down through his hair and then resting at the base of his neck, tracing a circle over his skin.]

What should I say, then? You just turned to use me even more.

[How can one man be so bad at this]

[ don't bully!! ]

I'm not using you.

[ a quiet protest, now that he's got the capability. silence is good, but when it's casual conversation like this—even with something undercutting it all—the ability to speak isn't being taken for granted. he doesn't need to say anything for guren tracing his neck, though. goosebumps raise along his surely-warm skin, sensitive as he is. ]

[ gently bullying him is so easy, though... the protesting is cute, though, and this is about the line where Guren won’t push further. He does feel like it’s strange that anyone would hold him like this— him, of all people— but he knows Dextera isn’t trying to do anything like use him. So, self-deprecating humor falls suspiciously short, and he watches instead as the way he traces shapes on the back of Dextera’s neck earns reactions. ]

Alright, alright. [ His answer to that insistence. He takes a slow, deep breath, thinking about Dextera’s voice and running a free hand up his side. In a friend way...??? ]

[ guren may no longer be verbally bullying him, but this feels like teasing, anyway. he must know that the fingers at his neck are already doing something, and having a hand along his side makes dextera's breath quicken, slightly. they touch each other. that's normal. they touch each other a lot, and so there's a precedent for this kind of thing—but maybe it's the fact that they almost died that makes this seem like something more. ]

Guren.

[ another protest? a request? he untucks his face, and guren can probably see that even dextera isn't sure what he wants. ]

You don't—

[ you don't have to do this. ]

[ Once again, Guren is caught off guard, and this time, he’s misunderstood in such a way that it’s a little like being caught with his hand in the cookie jar. What had been a simple motion, a desire, a way to keep him close without pulling at him, had gone a little too far. Both hands freeze in place. ]

Sorry. Is it bugging you? [ He looks calm as he asks that, but he’s in a little bit of an inward panic. Now he’s wondering how much he’s imagined or what he was thinking to slip and show so much like that. He pulls his hand away from Dextera’s side and lifts it between them, as if in surrender. ]

I wasn’t thinking. [ Just feeling, really... ]

[ there he goes, ruining this nice thing by panicking that he's receiving too much of it. dextera hadn't meant to call guren out—maybe it's better that he keeps quiet after all, in these things. ]

No. It's not...

[ he trails off. it's not bugging him. he likes it. it would be easy to say that, but also beyond embarrassing—almost childish, really, in how earnest it sounds even in his own mind. they're both adults here, even if they're adults who are cuddling in an old bed. ]

It's not that.

[ Oh. He can understand that, at least, and he pauses only to think of how to handle it. Again, he’s left wondering if this is a good idea, or if it would be better to tell Dextera not to bother getting excited about a guy like him. He remembers the earlier wish, that spoken desire to live with him, and his heart flutters. Embarrassing.

It really is, but he wouldn’t give this up for the world.

His hand moves back, this time to touch Dextera’s face softly as he leans closer and kisses him. It’s deep, lengthy, and when he’s satisfied, he’s looking anywhere but his face. ]

Then don’t worry about anything. [ The worrying is his job, apparently ]

[ that's one way to solve it. dextera genuinely wasn't expecting this, but it places the earlier, chaste kiss into a larger context—and dextera wishes he had kissed back, hanging on that small regret long enough to miss the chance to do it this time. ]

Guren—

[ it's a good thing he's not in the fucking hospital because his heartbeat is wild right now, and his eyes are wide and marveling to match. he starts to go in to return the kiss, only to remember that movement is stupid. a soft noise of pain leaves him, a sign of his forcible reminder that he's not going anywhere right now. ]

...ngh.

[ he got too excited and now his body is punishing him... he's fine, just cowed. ]

[Oh no, poor Dextera... Guren can't help but frown in response, reaching to hold him sturdy as he deals with that reaction. Did he do that?? Woops.]

...I guess I should stop. [If Dex is getting this excited... But also— he shifts, turning himself more towards Dextera, positioning himself so that they can be even closer. Arms still wrapped around Dex, his head against one of the pillows, he's trying to make it easier for them to be as close as possible.]

Don't move too much. Rest, and in a while, I'll see if I can't find some kind of plant to help with all the pain. [It's just a little harder to say when everything is gray.]

[ guren is so cool about it that dextera almost feels a little embarrassed for being this into it—but guren is the one who started it! now dex is dealing with the consequences.

it’s unfair. ]

I’ll be—fine.

[ maybe? he wants to take advantage of this time that they have together, the privacy and also this bed no not like that, but it’s his own fault for getting himself so beat up. ]

...you should rest too.

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